Just Want To Feel Better... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Just Want To Feel Better...

EnglishRose63 profile image
15 Replies

Hi, 🙂Long story short (ish)... I'm having a really tough time since my daughter went off to university. My life has changed dramatically because I'm now on my own, apart from my dog 🐕

I worry about everything.. I shake a lot which I'm told is anxiety, I cry a lot and can't see a future. I'm experiencing a lot of muscle pain and I'm seeing an osteopath for treatment. I've had rheumatoid arthritis since 2013 but rheumatology say the pain isn't due to my RA

He advised me to go back on antidepressants (I came off them in March 2022) tried them again in October but had a scarey reaction to them (tremors)

The question I'm trying to ask is are there any meds that treat both anxiety and depression or is it one for 1 and another for the other?

Thanks for reading this xx

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15 Replies
EndUser13 profile image
EndUser13

I'm sorry you have to be away from your daughter and dog. I live alone but my cat brings SO much life into my days, I appreciate where you're coming from.

The tricky thing about talking about meds on this forum is that everyone is going to react differently to various drugs, so the best any of us could do would be to guess. Since the 90s many physicians have been crazy about using a number of antidepressants to treat anxiety off label. Also, depending on the cause of your woes, depression and anxiety may be linked- so there is hope! Though this is something you need to talk to a physician about.

It super common for people to fear side effects of drugs, I understand this one all too well and I know there are plenty others who understand. You have to advocate for your own good and unfortunately... try something to see how it effects you then make an informed decision.

EnglishRose63 profile image
EnglishRose63 in reply to EndUser13

Thanks for replying EndUser13 💖It's just me and my dog at home now sorry for the confusion.

I see what you mean about everyone reacting differently. I just wasn't sure if one drug managed both symptoms. My gp says it's low moods but I think it's more than that. X

EndUser13 profile image
EndUser13 in reply to EnglishRose63

Hurray for dogs! ❤️

Yes, it's possible you could find a medication that would treat depression and anxiety, or it might be a cocktail of 2-3 medications... unfortunately you just have to see what works for you. There's always the possibility of taking a genetics test that can help your physician but these things are still in their infancy and you'll still need to try a medication for a little while to truly see what benefits it might offer. I know it can be a frustrating endeavor but when you find the right medications it can make all the difference!

Hug you dog for me? Good luck in your search for help, be willful, advocate for yourself!

Raggedy-Ann profile image
Raggedy-Ann

it's hard when things change and you end up standing there thinking NOW WHAT? I don't know either and have no vision for my future. it is common for people who are severely depressed. what has really made a difference for me is I got a job I love. it makes me get out of bed, get dressed, have someplace to go, I am doing something for the community. it takes 2 hours a day and I get a free meal. oh I make some money too. I can't advise about meds, but I have a few tricks to make life have some focus and a sense of accomplishment. what breed is your dog?

EnglishRose63 profile image
EnglishRose63 in reply to Raggedy-Ann

Thanks for your tips, much appreciated. My dog is a saluki cross bedlington terrior. I walk him every day and he never gets tired haha 😄

Midori profile image
Midori

Gosh! I would love to be alone in my bungalow, I could get things done if my son (carer) wasn't here all the time, hovering.

I'm being unfair to him, My balance is bad, and if I fall, he's the only one who can pick me up again, but, he is not the best carer, doesn't help much around the house.

He's greatly into gaming (tabletop stuff), and has his own Man Cave, but at the moment he's in the living room with me all the time as there are things needing doing in the Man Cave. (painting, Hoovering up after the extension, etc., things I cannot do.) He also sleeps at odd hours,getting up late.

He promises to help, but, like many men, only listens with half an ear!

Now, you should be taking advantage of this time, there must be loads of things you've always wanted to do, but haven't because you were bringing up your daughter. I know RA is painful, and disabling, but if you can still get around, you should be getting exercise, getting out of the house, even if it's only to go to a coffee shop, or a group of people with similar interests.

Have your bloods been checked.? Many of us of more advanced years are short on certain vitamins, and if you don't get out of the house you are in danger of Osteoporosis. Also muscles unused become weaker (mine have become weaker in the last 3 months as I haven't been out much). I am busy trying to build my strength back up again. My Fibro has been kicking my butt lately. Probably the cold weather. At the end of the last cold snap. I took myself to Tesco to pick up a few bits and the Papers, (here in the wilds of Wales there isn't a local paper delivery). My nose started bleeding when I was in the Fruit and veg department, so I stood there over the puddle of blood until I could get the attention of an employee, (didn't want anyone to slip in the blood). The First Aider came out, and took me to the cafe and got tissues and all that kind of thing and phoned my son, who was still asleep. He got down there in 20 minutes! (not bad!). Anyhow, we got the gusher under control while he took my list and got the rest of the stuff I wanted. ( I got a telling off for trying to be too independent!)

I'm planning on volunteering for something worthwhile, not sure what yet, but there are lots of opportunities around, try your local library for ideas. I'm 75, and use a rollator to get around on. Volunteering is a great way to feel useful, see folk and get a bit of joy back into your life.

Cheers, Midori

EnglishRose63 profile image
EnglishRose63 in reply to Midori

Thanks Midori..I do walk daily with my dog and I've also found some effective YouTube exercise vids to do. I'm having a colonoscopy soon (another story) and the anxiety is through the roof at the moment with worry but after its over with I plan to do some volunteering in the community.

Dolphin14 profile image
Dolphin14

It's so common to lose your sense of identity and purpose when the children " leave the nest"

When my youngest left for college I went through this. I was working etc but I had this feeling of emptiness. I decided to go back to school at that point. I needed something else to keep me busy.

As far as meds go it is trial and error. Therapy is a good idea. If you are alone I think you might benefit from having an outlet for these feelings.

🐬

EnglishRose63 profile image
EnglishRose63 in reply to Dolphin14

Thanks Dolphin14.. Youre right, it is an empty feeling and its overwhelming. I decided to leave the antidepressants/anxiety meds and try my best to sort it myself. I've had a few counselling sessions and thats helping. I'm moving house soon so thats kept my mind busy as well. X

To your question: Yes, there are many drugs that treat both anxiety and depression! There are several classes such as SSRIs that are labeled (in the US) for both/dual use. Then there are newer adjunctive drugs that, used in combination, can improve symptoms dramatically. If one thing doesn't work, tell your psychiatrist and they can try another. If they won't, and you're not getting relief, get a new psychiatrist. It's like dating, only worse 😉

EnglishRose63 profile image
EnglishRose63 in reply to Pastor_of_Muppets

I don’t have a psychiatrist Pastor_of_Muppets. Im trying to manage on my own without meds to see how I get on. Haha I like your 'dating' comment.

Darkhouse profile image
Darkhouse

The meds really can help. I understand wanting to try it without. I'm never able to do it without. A mental health nurse practitioner (MHNP) can prescribe meds while you continue w therapy too. I bet the move will be exciting, to say the least. It sounds like you're doing everything great to make sure that you're body is healthy and strong. That's wonderful! Have you ever tried yoga, Tai Chi, or Qigong? There's lots of videos on YouTube for them. They're all great meditations for the mind and the body and can help clear excess anxiety. I did yoga for years, if you're just starting out, I suggest "beginner's yoga" (it should be hard to do). I've really been enjoying Qigong as my health has slipped a bit as of late making yoga tough. But still need to get that excess energy out, ya know?? Wishing you peace ☮️

EnglishRose63 profile image
EnglishRose63 in reply to Darkhouse

Thank you Darkhouse..The move is a good thing at least. Smaller house but closer to family

No I've never tried yoga but might just give it a go. I do have rheumatoid arthritis so I'm guessing yoga would help that too.. I do walk daily with my dog and I do some exercises so that helps.

Peace to you too.

Darkhouse profile image
Darkhouse in reply to EnglishRose63

I just realized I typed "It SHOULD BE HARD TO DO" no no no, yoga should NOT be hard to do. I'm sorry for that typo. It should be easy peasy... It should feel good! I do yoga for arthritis or for back pain. Americans tend to overdo everything. Yoga shouldn't be about pushing through or hurting, especially if you have rheumatoid arthritis!! Family will be nice. I hope that helps you feel less alone...

EnglishRose63 profile image
EnglishRose63 in reply to Darkhouse

Haha I did think it might have been a typo. I'm going to look on YouTube now for the beginners one.

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