Anxiety for my kids

[xoox]

My ex husband doesn't care to see the kids and my heart is breaking for them. I'm finding myself having so much anxiety worrying that this will effect them so negatively. That's gotta hurt them that their dad doesn't care to spend any time with them. I've talked to my son who is almost 8 and I let him know how much his step dad and I love him. I just hope that it's enough. I realize I can't keep my kids in a bubble, I'll never be able to protect them from everything bad in this world... I guess I'm just so sick about this because this shouldn't be an issue.

[ckw1]

You're completely right, it shouldn't be an issue but it sounds like your ex husband is a real jerk. I'm in a situation where I get to see my kids three or four times a year and I would give anything to have more time with them. It sucks that you can't protect them from all the negative in this world but and you're doing the right thing by reinforcing your love for your children.

[xoox in reply to ckw1]

Thank you I'm trying my best but sometimes I wonder if I could be doing more.. I'm probably just being too hard on myself.

[nayacobalt]

I know exactly how you feel. My ex was more than willing to give up visitation rights if he didn't have to pay child support. My son hasn't seen his father since he was 6 months old. It's the best thing I could have possibly done for my son. His father had changed so much (after 12 years together) that when my son was born I knew allowing him in his life would one day destroy the wonderful part that makes him who he is.

I know this must confusing and hurtful for both you and your son but it sounds like you and your husband are handling it the best way possible. Just keep letting him know how much you both love him. Kids are resilient. I would suggest not letting your ex bounce in and out of his life. It wouldn't be healthy for him or your marriage. Either his Father wants to be a Dad or he doesn't. There's no in between. I wish you the best of luck and I'm sorry you are going through this.

[xoox in reply to nayacobalt]

Thank you I asked my ex if he'd be interesting in giving up his rights. He also likes to complain that he "has to pay me" so I told him it would be to everyone's benefit told he just signed his rights away.. he said he won't do it because he doesn't want my husband to adopt my kids. It's disgusting that he only wants to hold onto his rights and pay me out of spite..

[xoox in reply to xoox]

Interested**

[Justswimming]

You can not control what your ex husband does and seems like they have 2 loving parents ...my daughter is 13 and hasn't seen her father in a few years and she's happy and healthy with lots of friends so don't concentrate on what you can't give her but what she has a loving home ....he is the one missing out on being involved with the kids

[xoox in reply to Justswimming]

You're right thank you

[kenster1]

its terrible what hes doing in not seeing his kids.your being mum and dad and that brings extra pressure and stress.hes missing out though and when the kids get older they will know how it was.depends on how you broke up also if it where on your terms he might use against you.my ex done that with me used my son to make life harder for me but I thought he would grow up at least I made an effort but he got killed in an accident aged 6 so I never got that chance.try your best to turn him around but if that don't work then at least you will know you tried and so will the kids.