About 25 years ago I went through a rough breakup with my pregnant girlfriend. A few months later, we tried it again, at her request (it's what I wanted all along). Within a few days she not so nicely ended it again.
I was an emotional roller coaster. Fast forward to our daughter being 6 months old. The mother was engaged to another man, much to my dismay. Within a very short period of time, she was killed in a car accident, and I took custody of my daughter.
I don't know if I ever dealt with all of this. I just did what I felt I had to do, raise my daughter.
Now, my daughter has a masters degree in social welfare. She's a mental health therapist in New York. Through many conversations with her, she told me that she's come to realize that I've been depressed for her entire life. Looking back, I believe that to be the case.
I'm at a very low point right now. Suicide is a constant thought, this is due to the breakup of a seven year relationship. Before this relationship, I was a loner. I did isolate for probably 25 years. I really began to open up, and adjust, just as the relationship ended, and I feel back to square one, 25 years ago, getting that terrible phone call that my daughters mother was killed.
So is it possible that I could be suffering from PTSD? Some years ago I had a one year leave from work for very severe panic attacks. Is this something I should be tested for? I don't know what causes PTSD, or the symptoms, so I'm here asking.