Finding hope

[Kakes808]

Hi my name is Kayla I'm 21 years old I've been suffering from anxiety/panic attacks and depression for about 3 years now. I feel like this is how my life will be forever. I hate that every second of everyday I think about suicide and how my life would be so much better if I wasn't here. I hate thinking that way. I feel so alone in this world right now. I just wanna feel normal. I feel like no matter what medication/therapist I find, nothing helps. I just want my life back.

[Hidden]

Your life won't always be like that I have severe depression and anxiety and there's days I don't want to leave the house but you never know what's round the corner life can't stay bad forever, you could meet someone who's a positive influence in your life next week for all you know or win the lottery the point I'm making is that you need to be here to have the opportunity for things to change and improve and at 21 you've so much ahead of you and so many possibilities that you don't want to throw that away things will get better.Just to give you an example I have a serious lung disease and I cherish every single day I try to make the most of my time and opportunities and I've had several therapists and none of them have ever helped neither have the dozens of meds they have given me what's helped me is that I got to the stage where I was so sick and tired of being scared and panicked that I thought I don't want to be like this anymore and I won't allow myself to be, I still struggle every single day but I've had wonderful days as well as terrible ones, which I wouldn't have had if I wasn't here.Your worth more than you think and deserve to be happy and can be.If you ever feel alone and want to chat feel free to message me or speak to others on the site but please hang in there and don't give up things will improve in time.Take care and look after yourself.

[Kakes808 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your kind words and I'm very sorry about your condition. Ill be praying for you and your recovery. Thank you for the lift me up. Your words definitely took a place in my heart and I am very grateful for you! Thank you!

[Hidden in reply to Kakes808]

Your very welcome and I meant every word you've got loads of great things to look forward too so keep your chin up(I know that's easy to say and hard to do) and just think of what might be round the corner the world has a knack of lifting us up when we least expect it.Take care of yourself and if you need a chat you know where I am x

[Loveydovey0519 Ambassador]

Welcome to the site Kayla! I can speak from experience, I was diagnosed with anxiety, panic disorder, and depression 10 years ago. I was even agoraphobic for about 6-8 months. With time and treatment it WILL get better! I had a stretch of 4-5 years of almost no anxiety and very few panic attacks. However I had a setback or relapse whichever you want to call it last October. Ended up in the hospital and loads of testing done, it was like I'm starting all over again. However I have faith that one day I will be back to enjoying life and not anxious 24/7. I know it can be achieved because I have. I also take medicine and see a psychologist weekly.

[Kakes808 in reply to Loveydovey0519]

Thank you very much! I too also have agoraphobia and it's terrifying! I feel like I can't go and do anything because I'm afraid of everyone judging me. I'm terrible in crowds and I can't even go grocery shopping because being around people scare me! Why am I like this? I never was before? I don't understand why.... I know it will get better but I feel like that's just a fairytale.

[Vonnah]

Hey😊 i understand exactly how you feel, as i feel the same. I'm 19 so it's cool we are close in age. You can message me anytime on here!😄