I'm new here because I am at my wits end with how I feel. Have you ever felt like you've been dealing with this for so long that you just come to the conclusion that there is no relief for you? I was diagnosed with GAD 15 years ago, after a traumatic experience brought everything into the light. I've been on everything you can imagine. Switched benzos because some would stop working, switched long term anxiety medications with stuff that was supposed to make me feel normal, again... and every now and again, I actually do.
This last month has been hell. An important person in my life has been diagnosed with a severe heart condition, and since then...I've been focusing on my own heart, and over thinking, and sinking lower and lower. Waking up with anxiety, constant panic attacks and just when it's about to let up... I finally fall asleep. Back to square one. I know realistically, I don't have anything physically wrong with me. But the constant anxiety is messing with my head. Oh, and a new symptom arose. I've become jumpy. Example: When someone puts a cup down too loudly and I'm not expecting it, I'll jump up out of my seat. I feel like a nervous wreck. 20 years of therapy. No help in the world for me, it seems.