Honestly the only thing I’m thinking right now is “wtf an I doing ANYTHING for if wt literally any moment I can just be gone?” I post about this concept a lot but it REALLY interferes with my life. It digs me deeper in my depression. At random moments I’ll literally be like “I can die right now”. It scares me and it consumes me and I started to not do anything in my life because...for what? Because “Enjoy life while you have it” right? How can I do that if I don’t know when I won’t have it. I can’t ignore it. And it’s so odd to me because I only started obsessing over it the last 3 years or so. So at one point it wasn’t a prominent thought in my mind. I am on a spiritual awakening and am seeing things for exactly what they are now and I know that’s adding a factor as well. I usually hate talking about my awakening because I can see how it sounds so weird but it really has changed my whole behavior and how I act and how I interpret things and it’s just the freakiest experience. Thanks for reading. hope it made sense.