Extreme social anxiety

[Abbaskhan]

Hi guys.. I am suffering from extreme social anxiety and I am in that state currently that I have stopped going out and interacting with people because of the fear of judgements or getting embarrassed or saying something stupid, I can't even go to like a near by store to buy something or order something in a resturant etc and I feel like have missed so many good opportunities in my life just because of my social anxiety. I have these constant thoughts in my brain whenever I go out or having some pending social events or gatherings I just feel like I am going to pass out , life is getting so hard for me cuz I cannot enjoy anything in my life , I can't be myself. I am just always thinking that people are looking at me they are judging me , I feel like I am the center of attraction even in normal situation, whenever I find myself in such situations my heart just start to pound and there's that chest pain , my voice get Shakey I don't know what to do with it as nothing is in my control I swear. Please share your valuable tips or any help.

[LoveforAll41]

Abbaskhan, I am so sorry that you are struggling. Did something happen to set off your anxiety? I can assure you that everyone is involved in their own lives' and probably not paying much attention to you.

Even if everyone is looking at you and judging you, so what? Would it matter if everyone in the world thought you were a nincompoop? I don't think so. You be you.

I always recommend the book "Feeling Great" by David Burns, he has a lot of stuff for accepting the good stuff our anxiety is telling us and working on coming to terms with it. There is also a book called "The subtle art of not giving a F***" by Mark Manson that is about how everyone is worried about their own stuff, not you.

I hope that you can find peace with yourself and the world and carry on living the way you would like ☮️

[Chris72FibroBipolar]

Have you tried Diazepam medication??? Or CBT therapy?

[designguy]

I dealt with social anxiety for years and recovered and my recommendation is to try to find a therapist that specializes in treating social anxiety and work with them. They will typically use group and exposure therapy in the treatment as well as teaching you new constructive ways in how you perceive others and how you think they perceive you. For whatever reason you think people are constantly judging you when in fact they are not and are caught up in their own lives. You may have been bullied as a kid like I was that contributed to my developing social anxiety. You may also be suffering from low-self-worth and a lot of shame which is common with people who have SA. There are also good resources on line especially on youtube as well as online SA courses, I like the youtube/course by Sebastiaan at Social Anxiety Solutions and also Paige Pradko. the more you educate yourself about SA and how to heal it and also determine why and how you developed it the quicker you can recover. It takes commitment and effort but it is definitely possible and worth it.

[Wildchipmunk]

Bless your heart! I used to have social anxiety when I was your age. But I looked around, looked at people and realized that everyone was way to self-centered to even think about me, let alone judge me. Are you able to go outside? Try to do that. Just getting out of your surroundings helps. And you know what else, if you can just get out among people ( not necessarily interact with them) I would not at all be surprised if someone else felt uneasy because they felt judged! Try to do little tiny things. Smile at someone. Is there someone, a family member or a friend, who could just go out with you? It's a little easier if you have someone with you at first. Don't be too hard on yourself if you can't do something yet. The key is to keep trying! Do not give up. A therapist could help you, too. You are young and the world is before you! If you keep trying, you will make it..and maybe you will be able to help others who are struggling. Hold on tight and know you aren't alone. We are all here for you and care about you!

[Matchaloves]

I’m sorry to hear you’re having these feelings. I’m in the same situation and trying to get myself out of this state of mind. I know exactly how you feel.

I listened to a YouTube audiobook from Dr Claire Weeks. It was amazing. She explained all these feelings so precisely it was like she was talking to me. Her voice was so soothing. She explained how not to fight these feelings but to accept them.

Today, I went into a store. I felt very anxious and tense I wanted to get out of there. I felt the trembling and wanted to leave.

I accepted these feelings the trembling, sweating, getting red in the face. I relaxed my shoulders and relaxed through my body and told myself I’m not in danger, no one is giving a hoot about me I came here to shop for things I need and who cares there’s people. They’re not looking at me and they’re here to shop to.

As I did this I felt the trembling and the redness in my face subside. When I usually get these feelings I never stay in the store because I would be afraid I would literally pass out or something bad would happen. But today by giving into these feelings and not fighting it and relaxing and releasing my muscles. It helped me to become calm and finish my shopping. I know it’s going to take a lot of work but I’m taking it one day at a time.

Every step you take no mattter how big or small is a step closer to enjoy a fulfilling life

[gajh in reply to Matchaloves]

Hello Matchaloves I just wanted to say Congratulations and well done! Thank you for sharing your success.