Hello

[lookbeyond12]

I am new to this support group, I have always struggled with depression since I was in high school. I am now in college and I believed I have developed some type of anxiety disorder. I am not sure where it came from or why I have it, but I do know it is starting to greatly affect me. What is most troubling about my anxiety is the thoughts that I have. I have never been a violent person, I can't even watch violent television shows, but recently I have such dark violent thoughts and they come completely out of nowhere and they scare me. I am not sure if anyone else experiences this, but I just don't want to think these things which gives me even more anxiety. I have always made myself think of the worst possible outcome for any situation I'm in, but this is much worse. I do plan on talking to someone soon, was just hoping someone could give me some advice. Thanks for your time.

[Hidden]

Hi. I'm new here, too. Although I don't have any great advice on how to handle what you're going through, I just wanted you to know that you're not alone. It absolutely happens to lots of people. I wish I could offer you more useful advice for what to do. Talking to someone definitely is a great idea. I just wanted to offer you an internet hug and support.

[lookbeyond12 in reply to Hidden]

It means a lot to me just for you to take the time and reply to my post, definitely made my day. I appreciate your internet hug and support!

[Hidden]

I go through the same thing. It's the stress basically playing tricks on you but I understand it's very troubling and can make you feel horrible about yourself. I was thoroughly convinced that I was one day gonna snap and lose control and end up hurting someone or myself. It's not true though and the fact that you feel bad about the thoughts shows you're not crazy or anything like that. If you haven't already look into mindfulness meditation, it basically teaches you to look at your thoughts from an outside perspective and not judge yourself for your thought or feelings. It's a process but it eventually does work if you keep an open mind!

[lookbeyond12 in reply to Hidden]

Wow you have no idea how much better you already made me feel I felt so alone feeling this way and it just gave me more anxiety the more I thought about these thoughts. I've never heard of mindfulness meditation I will definitely have to look into it. I was already considering learning more about meditation and possibly yoga so this is a great place to start thank you so much.

[Hidden in reply to lookbeyond12]

Yes I just tried yoga with a group for the first time yesterday and I loved it! I occasionally read books on meditation but usually just go for guided meditations on Youtube!