Explaining anxiety to someone who thinks it's in your head...

[Aelie]

I've dealt with anxiety and depression for my entire life. The last year has been really rough and I was having a very difficult time when I first met my current boyfriend, who was raised in Switzerland.

My boyfriend speaks six languages and he's lived all over the world. He's extremely knowledgeable about people, cultures, and social situations. He has, over the course of our relationship thus far, converted me to European cooking and lifestyle choices and that has actually helped me tremendously with panic attacks and anxiety for whatever reason... but he is convinced that anxiety is in my head, and when he's in this line of thought, he usually makes some rude comment about how the USA has more issues with anxiety and depression than anywhere else in the world (not sure if this is true), and if we were smarter about our lifestyle choices, we wouldn't have these problems.

How do I explain this to him in a way that will reach him? I've done a lot of traveling myself and I understand that we, as Americans, don't always have the best reputation abroad. I do agree that taking care of yourself is a huge part of mental wellness, but his ideas on this just seemed off.

Thanks everyone!

Ps happy 4th 😜🇺🇸❤️

[kindlet1]

I know most people don't get that it is a sickness. After my last "episode" I told my boyfriend to stop being sick when he has the flu next time. I then outline what I remember about an attack. I'm finally getting through to him, I hope it sticks, but he asked me to help him know my triggers and when I feel it coming on. It took years to get to this point, but if someone loves you they have to take the whole package!

[lostgirl75]

Hi Aelie

I hear it's in my head too and I'm not from the USA. I hate it when someone says that because at the moment when your having anxiety it consumes you more than anything and it's all you can do but try to deal with it.

I wish I had an answer on describing it but the only way I know how to is just to write down for yourself what your going through so you can tell him about your symptoms and what's happening so he can get a glimpse into what your dealing with. Then ask him what he would do if he felt like that. That's how I describe it to my better half. When you have never gone through it you just don't understand. And talk your Dr before it gets worse.

Lostgirl

[Lve2dance in reply to lostgirl75]

Exactly. We don't choose it, all we can do is manage it. I had a family member act like I have occasionally intentionally to make her life hard. Even people that have anxiety sometimes don't understand, or maybe don't think they have it themselves because it manifest other ways. Or my favorite you're in therapy now are you fixed like you're a car or something.

[Hidden]

Hi nice to meet you. Well he doesn't sound like he knows people well if he thinks like that, despite all his wandering and brains. I don't have any answers I'm afraid but I hope you find them.

[samjon1]

Hello, personally I'm from Africa and have been suffering with generalized anxiety disorder for now two years, it is not in USA only, any person can suffer from it

[Aelie in reply to samjon1]

Yes I know, but my boyfriend thinks that Americans have poor habits and that's why we have more documented cases of anxiety here. He just doesn't understand

[Downinil]

Hi Arlie, I’d jokingly say, you’re right. It is in my head! Then I’d explain how neurotransmitters work in the case of anxiety.

[Lve2dance in reply to Downinil]

Ur awesome 😎. That is a great response

[Downinil]

Hi Lve2dance! Thank you for telling me that I’m awesome. It made my day to read that.