Is it possible to be in love with someone that suffers from anxiety

I'm starting to wonder if being happy is even possible with anxiety. My boyfriend moved out 3 months ago and we have been trying to work things out. The more i read about anxiety i wonder if i will ever be able to be without anxiousness ,always thinking and worrying about the worse. Will he understand? Are there any good experiences with love and anxiety/depression?

13 Replies

  • Anxiety is part of everyone. I have it bad and I often think of the same thing. Yet I know of couples who deal with it .The person has to want to understand. Are you on meds and in therapy? That is important. Anxiety is the most common disorder in the world. It can be treated.

  • Ddorne what are you using to treat your anxiety?

  • Of course you can have normal relationships. The hard times are the risky times, but with meds and counseling you learn how to get through the hard times and how to become normal again. I have learned how to better manage my illnesses. Most of my years with anxiety and depression have been good years and my hubby helped me through the bad times and enjoyed the good times. Sometimes he caused some stressful times but, hey, nobody is perfect. We had 43 years together before cancer took him and I was diagnosed with anxiety (GAD) and depression (2 kinds) for 27 years of it.

    I can't reinforce enough the importance of a good psychiatrist and a good counselor. These 2 have been crucial to my well-being. I don't settle for less than the best. The counselor has been especially my friend and helper. We've become friends through the years. I don't need to see her very often but I wouldn't want to dismiss her altogether either. And there were times I needed to see her more often. Life changes and your needs vary from not very needy to very needy and there's no telling when each stage may occur. But I've gradually moved away from needing her very often as the years progress. Now my children have seen her! They don't have to clue her in on family background and it saves time and money! That's a bargain. My kids have inherited some of the family depression and anxiety problems so getting a great counselor may end up helping more than just yourself. Life is full of surprises, but plan for them to be as good as possible.

  • Thank you so much for your thoughts and sharing your experiences.

  • Yes it is! Anxiety is so draining and exhausting! It's actually the hardest job ever, but me and my partner have been together for 6 years, married for 3 and now have a 7 month boy, and I suffer from anxiety mostly and depression which is caused by my extreme anxiety, meds only help ease the symptoms but therapy is the way forward, it will address what your anxiety is about.

    We have to really accept our anxiety, and the people around you who love you will love you for who you are

  • I have been lucky enough to read and digest knowledge on anxiety and how it helps nothing! It is like paying interest on a loan not yet due. I have taught myself to stay in the present and not get caught up on the "what if" wheel of never ending worries. I have run from love from many good women. It is a constant awareness that I focus on to keep me right side up with no meds, even though I have them available to me. I have GAD also and tired of it ruining my life. I have a good woman now who I am determined not to ruin it with. It is a constant battle.

  • Thats so good to hear. You say you have taught yourself to not worry about the what if's. I would love to hear how. I have also ran away from good relationships and men. I dont want to lose this one again.

  • I am reminded of the Mark Twain saying “Most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be.”.. With that in mind I add in perspective & Determination to stay on the path. And counting my blessings, as it were. Stay the course. What if's - The mind won't turn it off when you try to not think about it, *But, I have found myself at 2-4 am & awake and on the spinning wheel excursions to tell myself I will think about that after lunch @ 1300, then I forget about it - It works. Not believing in anything that has not yet happened helps. Ever notice that when you are distracted you forget about the anxiety?... Relationships are my biggest issue. Giving love - no problem, Women love me as the complete package - but I have run from them, leaving them baffled. I am so tired of hurting others thru break ups and commitment issues but my counselor says that is not my problem to own. Concentrating hard to succeed in a LDR now. Time tells all.

    This prolonged agony and anxiety has played hell with my health.

    Failure is not an option.

  • The truth is anxiety makes everything more difficult. I worry constantly about every pain and ache making me worse both physically and mentally. If your boyfriend loves you enough he will be there for you. It can get hard for them too because often they feel so helpless. My husband of many years sometimes gets annoyed when he cannot make it better but there is no quick fix. I have suffered for many years with anxiety and depression is right there too when my anxiety goes on too long. It's a hard road, I know it well.

  • Hi, the feeling is mutual ......

    I cant seem to get over the Ex....

    I had a conversation with him and I felt worst and the next morning I had to take myself to the ER......

  • I think if you're healthy in mind and body you don't worry. Get yourself treated and counseled where you need it. You can't accomplish anything with worry so why bother? I'm given enough strength for today so today is what I focus on. Tomorrow will come soon enough. If I catch myself worrying about tomorrow, that's anxiety and now I know my anxiety is not completely under control and I need to address that until it's under control again. That's the secret to managing worry in a nutshell.

  • Please don't loose hope. Anxiety is a sucky thing to deal with but my husband and I have been together for almost five years now and he is my rock. I always make sure to keep really good, open communication with him about how I'm feeling. In the beginning that was't easy because my first husband was a jerk about it and it made me very scared to open up to anyone else.

    A good person is someone who can see that's a part of you and not judge you for it. Which believe it or not, there a lot of amazing people like that out there.

  • Hi Frances,

    It is absolutely possible to love someone when you have anxiety and depression! It took a heart break for me to figure this out. I never had a boyfriend in High School (which deteriorated my self worth) so when I got this cute guy to date me after taking my virginity, I thought yippe I'm in love. But he wasn't supportive. Not in the direct cruel way. The way that hurt more, by really not understanding. But I told myself I would be strong and pretend I don't have anxiety so he wouldn't get annoyed and leave me. But insecurities aren't something people can withold forever. He was a huge flirt and would leave me for 20 minute period at a time when we were hanging out together. I should have known this relationship was onesided, but it's in my nature to blame myself. I would get extremely upset and maybe 3 months in, he dumped me. Over phone. No matter what he says now, I was not treated right. He didn't acknowledge my anxiety and depression as "real". And my old friend group had the nerve to say "You talk about your anxiety too much". They were jerks. He was a jerk. I was miserable for months, trying to figure out how to get him back. Then.. a boy who lived in the same hall as my ex (so I'd seen him and talked a few times) messaged me.We'll call him K. I thought K had a girlfriend (didn't actually) and he wasn't creepy so I wasn't afraid to talk to him. We kept in contact constantly and became good friends over the Summer. He was always honest about his feelings and was extremely sweet.. Then, he came to see me when I was on the Cape and we kissed. It was everything. My ex almost ruined it. I was trying to be friends and get him to understand (BAD IDEA!!!) I got drunk and he was drunk and kissed me. I felt disgusting and like there's no turning back. The guy I'd been seeing would throw me away and I would hurt him. I told K and.. within seconds he was outside my dorm waiting for me. He's seen me at my worst, and he's seen me at my best. Love is understanding one another and people like him truly exist and everyone deserves love. A good siginificant other will stand by you and treat you right. It took a broken heart for me to find them, but I'm sure as hell glad it happened.

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