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[Mimo122]

Hi. I am new here. I'm not entirely sure what to post. I have anxiety- daily sometimes. I have anxiety attacks. I also twitch sometimes. I'm in a relationship. I feel like my anxiety is ruining it. Ironically that's not h anxiety speaking - I see my partner getting frustrated and hurt. It's a lot for my partner to handle. The effort to cope with it and be understanding isn't lacking but that doesn't change the fact that it's overwhelming. I feel isolated and lonely. There's such a huge gap between how I feel and what I'm able to describe- no one around me can relate or comfort me. So I guess here I am. Hoping to just find people who I can share with who can understand on a different level than the ones around me.

[NikkiTexas]

Welcome to the group! I'm Nikki, I joined almost a week ago now. I understand how you feel. I myself was pushing my husband and family away because I could never get across how I was feeling I felt like no one listened or understood how I was feeling. Are you on any meds or seeing a doctor?

[Mimo122 in reply to NikkiTexas]

Hi Nikki. My name is Mimi. Thank you for replying and welcoming me. It's comforting even to find people with similar circumstances. I'm not on any medication or seeing a doctor currently. For a brief time I took muscle relaxers for my twitching but nothing in the past few years. Do you receive medical assistance?

[NikkiTexas in reply to Mimo122]

I wasn't for a long time I had this on again off again treatment taking medication I'd start to feel better then stop but it had been about 10 years since I tried to get help...I just recently went to the doctor and got back on meds and seeing a therapist

[Mimo122 in reply to NikkiTexas]

I would like to see a therapist. I want to think it would help more than medication. I don't like the feeling of being dependent on something. Or I've been on medications that put me in zombie mode. Do you feel that your therapy sessions make a big difference? I've never been once. Somehow the idea of it is intimidating.

[NikkiTexas in reply to Mimo122]

If you felt like a zombie with your medicine it may not have been the right kind for you. I just started back on meds and don't feel zombie like at all. Therapy is hard the first few times you go but it isn't for everyone. For me the combination of my medicine and seeing a Therapist helps tremendously the therapist helps me to learn new skills for dealing with things that come up and past issues I never got over. Which can be a lot of what depression and anxiety comes from...not for all people of course but for me personally it did. Let's face it sometimes family isn't the easiest to go to either so the therapist is a middle person..so to speak

[Mimo122 in reply to NikkiTexas]

Yeah I don't go to my family. We don't live together so mostly they don't realize how much anxiety is a challenge for me. Out of sight out of mind. Unfortunately I'm not in a financial situation right now for therapy. My alternative for self coping was I got a dog. Which has been somewhat of an emotional support

[NikkiTexas in reply to Mimo122]

A dog will help, have you tried journaling? Maybe get your thoughts and feelings out on paper?

[Mimo122 in reply to NikkiTexas]

I haven't. It's something to consider. Idk if I would have the patience. It makes me slightly anxious the possibility of someone finding it and reading it as well

[NikkiTexas in reply to Mimo122]

Understandable maybe under your mattress or top of a bookcase

[Mimo122 in reply to NikkiTexas]

I'll try anything at least once. It can't hurt.

[NikkiTexas in reply to Mimo122]

I really hope you will find something that works for you. So you can get the relief you need.

[Mimo122]

Thank you so much Nikki.

[NikkiTexas in reply to Mimo122]

You're welcome, has anything worked for you as of yet

[Bluzzle]

I'm new to this too. I'm not sure how this all works, but your post resonates with experiences I've had as well. My anxiety and depression has ran a majority of my life for a long time. I havent been in a relationship for almost 2 years and whenever I think about being in one the majority of what I remember was my anxiety running rampid and ruining things... it seems like the more I loved them the worse it got. I'm thinking maybe that's why I'm so good at avoiding it now, in fear of making it worse with how I can get.