Hi,
I just signed up to try and feel less alone in dealing with anxiety and depression disorder. This is something that has been going on my entire life, sometimes its is worse than other times but it's always been there.
What is most difficult for me, is the difficulty I have caused toward my relationship with my partner. Has this been an issue for anyone else?
I lost a partner due to this (I didn't have this resource at the time) they did not understand. I'm glad you came here and you are definitely not alone. I'm sure this has been an issue for most of us.
Hello,
My Ex has recently left me again. He says because of my anxiety. At the beginning of this year I fell and broke my knee and wrist. Because I already have anxiety I developed PTSD from the trauma. It has crippled my recovery. I am working to get past it. My EX has always been abusive and mean. But he was great the first couple months of the injury. But he has screamed and yelled at me during this very hard recovery. He left me again a couple months ago. It makes me feel so worthless. I understand about feeling so bad about having this disorder. I will get better, but he will always stay mean and abusive.
My last relationship was like that but I wasn't very self aware and hadn't had a real chance to understand my anxiety.
I think the abusivness could have caused and added to mild PTSD and therefore increased anxiety.
Relationships feel impossible to me sometimes.
Hi,
Thank you for your reply.
I really took some time to think about your response. I suffered from anxiety and phobias before I met my ex. I have been suffering since I was a child. I hid it. I had a very loving and kind boyfriend for many years. He never left me. I had a very bad episode when I was with him. Never left me. I got better. I have been off and on in the abusive relationship for nineteen years. We broke up for a few years and I proceeded to have fun!!! Then in 2011 we get back together. By the end of 2012 by anxiety was so bad. I tried to hide it. We broke up again. I decided on absolutely no contact. I was in Therapy at that time as I am now. Then at the beginning of this year I fell and broke my kneecap and wrist. He was great! I live up three flights of stairs. He was carrying me up and down the stairs and was very concerned. My anxiety was so high. But he would continue to tell me how bad my injury was and tell me I was going to have to have surgery even before we met with the Orthopedist. I was given options by the Doctor to have or not have surgery. I chose not to. My ex yelled and screamed at me for two hours for not having surgery. I was instructed not to walk for over two months. At the next appointment the doctor said my knee had healed and I dodged a bullet.
I was able to start walking and start physical therapy. I was so happy about walking. But I was feeling a sense of fear. My anxiety turned into PTSD. PTSD is an anxiety disorder at the highest level. It a fear of falling. I have always sought out help and continue to do so.
I do agree with you that the abuse thru the injury has contributed to the PTSD!
I joined partially because I feel like I am straining my current relationship with all my problems. So I feel some of your pain as well. I joined to find someone to talk to as well.
I would love to talk, Its one of the hardest part of having anxiety for me right now.
Direct message me if you want 
Melbug, mean abusive men are pretty much always nice at first. We all make unwise decisions but most of us won't involve ourselves with a man who's not good to us at the start. Thats how they hook us. We probably wouldn't date someone who's a jerk at first.
I do sympathize with a caring partner who has to deal with anxiety and is unsure what to do. That's different. I feel much less charitable toward someone who uses it as an excuse to treat us badly. Someone who genuinely can't deal with it would just part ways with you if worse came to worst. There is absolutely no excuse for being abusive and mean. From your post I can hear that you're kind of feeling the same way but you're vulnerable and you're blaming yourself. Don't.
thank you for your response.
I have suffered from an anxiety disorder all my life. So did my Mother and Grandmother. I have always sought out help. I am in therapy now. I have been in the relationship off and on for over nineteen years. I have had no contact with my ex and stayed out of the relationship many times. Then he calls and I go back.
I accept my part in the relationship. But I do believe that the abuse and abandonment thru the injury has contributed to the anxiety developing into PTST. Which is a fear of falling from the trauma of the injury.
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