Part 1 of my Depression and Anxiety Story

I'm a 19 year old female who has had depression since age 12. I was bullied from age 12 to 18 so 6th grade through 12 grade. In middle school i was picked on by a small group of girls and these same girls bullied me in high school. I noticed througout high school these same girls added more girls to their group and taught them to target me. I was deeply depressed in 10th and 11th grade as i went through some tramatic incidents with the girls. I eventually told my parents and they went up to the school. So 10th-11th grade was when bullying and depression was in its prime for me. I asked my mom if i could be home schooled but i knew i really wanted to drop out. My schools administrator who helped me when i was being bullied encouraged me to stay in school and that made me stay. I believe at age 17 that was when i first told my mom that i believe i have depression and anxiety. Through school assignments i did my research on depression and anxiety. Everytime i walked past the gang of girls who bullied me, my heart would race so suddenly, i would sweat instantly, and i felt worried and scared that they would shout out horrible things to me which they did. So it took me a few years to realize how bad that bullying has affected my mental health. Anyways i survived bullying + high school and i graduated. The happiest and proudiest moment of my life. At 17 i went to the doctor and they diagnosed me with depression and anxiety. I went to counseling but i stopped because of money problems and the therapist didn't seem to help anyways. I was on a anti depressiant and had to up the dosage. I have 20mg now of Fluoxetine but i stopped taking it on my own. I plan on telling my doctor that i think it didn't work as much.

4 Replies

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  • I'm 19 as well and I've suffered anxiety for roughly 7 years as well so your not only in this. I was bullied since secondary school (as I'm from the UK) since I was 8-9 years old from the other children because my brother is disabled. This is what triggered off my anxiety possibly from the trauma of bullying which induces stress. Growing up as well going into year 7 to 11 I was also bullied by females that would threaten me constantly and boyfriends that would spread rumours and cheat on me which really screwed up my mental health. I battled with self harming for a couple of years, being confused about what i was feeling.

    You will learn to deal with your anxiety, it just takes crazy amounts of time putting the puzzle pieces together in your life to make it better for you. Don't give up in find what methods suit you.

  • Thank you for the great advice. I'm sorry to hear you got bullied. I'm very passionate about anti-bullying. I hope i learn eventually how to cope with my depression and anxiety:(

  • You'll get through it just fine. Just think that your life is a weather forecast, there has to be rainy days for there to be sunny one :)

  • Thanks but unfortunately i can't see my life and myself like that. I've been constantly depressed since a very young age. I just feel like this is my life forever unless i end my life. I don't know what happiness is.

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