Update on my MDD

I am back home now with my husband, and I will see the doctor tomorrow. I am ready to see him and get a solid treatment going. I have come home to a lot of stresses so my family is trying their hardest to shield me from them. However, being around my husband helps me tremendously. I'm not better yet but, when I am with him, I can handle a lot of things, and be somewhat happy. When I was visiting my family, my sister had a major breakdown, and we discovered that she may also have MDD. I listened to her as she pour out her feelings, and explained to her how everything she was describing sounded like depression. She had no idea that there was something wrong. She thought she was just born this horrible human being and it broke my heart. I encouraged her to go seek therapy as well, and told her I would call her and we can go through it together. It is a downer for our family but we are all working together. I have this ability to explain things when I am able to, and I was able to explain how we feel in some way. Perhaps it could help others when they are trying to communicate to their families or doctors. For me, this depression feels like Purgatory. I feel like I am not in this world sometimes like it is a huge dream and I am unaware of where I am. It feels like I am in a gray world waiting until I can get out. The trees don't look the same to me, the people are just passing by. I feel like I left to another place and I am unsure of how to get back. That is what I am calling it now. My depression is Purgatory. I am awaiting heaven, hell, or earth it seems. Anyways, I just wanted to update those who were following me and also maybe give some explanation words to those who have trouble explaining things. I have a very vivid imagination and knack for details. Hope everyone else is doing okay or even better.

2 Replies

  • I completely relate to feeling like you are in a different world. I am glad you are back home and with your husband that that gives you strength. I also feel like the world is gray and without color. I am on meds and I feel like I am coming back to the colorful world but not there just yet. I hope things improve for you as quickly as possible. (((Hugs)))

  • Thank you! Yes it feels like a gray world with no color. That's exactly how I feel. I'm glad that you are doing better. We will get there eventually. -hugs-

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