Struggling to find purpose

[PiMamaRea]

My adult child moved away last week. A family member ended her life leaving her son & husband. She is our 2nd family member to do this. I am struggling with depression & finding purpose in things. I crymost days. Sad the world places so little priority on happiness over frivolous things. Just trying to find the joy again.

[Agora1]

PiMamaRea, I am so truly sorry for the losses in your life as losses come in

many different forms. We may not be therapists but can extend our support

in making you not feel so all alone. Welcome to a caring place to come when

the world feels as if it doesn't care. I'm happy you are here with us xx

[PiMamaRea in reply to Agora1]

Thank you. It is a struggle feeling so cut off from so many people & things lately. I don't want to burden anyone. I am just tired of being so sad. I greatly appreciate this forum to be able to connect.

[Agora1 in reply to PiMamaRea]

You never are a burden to any of us. It's nice to have a safe place to come where

people understand and willing to walk the walk with you. As we are happy to have

you with us. xx

[PiMamaRea in reply to Agora1]

Thank you! It is important to have a place to feel safe you are 100% correct in that.

Again, thank you. Been hard to see out of these emotions, I am not usually an emotional type of person. Is super weird, having been a mom always in survival mode and now not having that purpose to drive me is difficult. I do not want to put it on my child who seems to be thriving and breaking so many generational chains. Thank you again!

[Cotton_candy91]

my dear , I’m sorry to hear about the loss in your family , at the end this is life and we die and reborn again . We as humans we were programmed to feel sad about losing someone and we were programmed to feel like it’s the end of life or end of happiness , it’s always about feeling bad more than grateful that you had those years and full of good and perhaps some bad memories with the person , but we are forgetting that this is how life works , it’s necessary to express feelings grieving for them . But always be grateful to be blessed to know those people and lucky because not all of us had or have the chance to live it . About the purpose of life this question does not have an answer to me tbh ! I go through phases where I’m convinced that there’s no reason to continue living , but then I do some things to make me feel calm then I’ll pass that moment and I’ll be thinking why would I give up ! I mean yeah it is really exhausting and so lonely but I always knew that I’m good enough to deserve to be happy and one thing that can makes us happy is loving to live the life and feel excited about it because we are still here we still have a chance to do and change to be and feel better . Sorry I took a lot of ur time ! Just know that u r not alone 🤍🤍🤍 I wish u the comfort

[PiMamaRea in reply to Cotton_candy91]

Ty, I just miss her. Our kids grew up together as siblings & we all lived within 5 minutes of each other since our kids were born. Until we moved out of state from them start pf this year. There is some guilt there for the family, as we all knew she struggled. We supported & counciled each other as mothers & women. She is missed but I know she is in a better place & is not struggling like she did with her depression. I used to tell her it was temporary, it will pass & she will see another side in time. I heard myself just now but so hard to see missing her & my daughter every day. Cannot wait to get to place it feels less raw. Thank you for your reminders that it is all part of life & being human.

[CLB1125]

Im sorry for your loss as well. I’m struggling kind of with the same thing. What is my purpose? I’m disabled now, I grew up on farm and was always doing something physically productive. Maybe this will help you as it did me. Someone recently said there are many forms of being productive. It may be something that you don’t even realize you’re doing. I’m the one everyone calls when they are sad, hurting, etc. I listen without judgment. Sometimes I can offer advice but sometimes it’s just a hug. It doesn’t seem like anything for me but for that person it may have saved their life. I smile at everyone who looks sad. Maybe that smile is the only one they have seen in a long time. I hope I’m making sense. Everything we do in life has purpose even if we don’t intentionally set out to do it. You said your child has left home. I was really upset when my kids didn’t need me. I said that to my daughter who is 41 yrs old. She said we need you more than you will ever know. I’m still her mom but now we are best friends.

[PiMamaRea in reply to CLB1125]

I can relate in many ways. Thank you for those reminders, I do get lost in the emotions of it all & have never been the emotional type. Seems all this new found freedom has got me into my feels. I do keep in mind that I want to be there for my child when they have their kids. I work from home so isolation has been the hardest thing, like being trapped in my own head. I used to talk to people more when I went into the office & am feeling the need to switch things up for that social interaction even though I am an introvert. Crazy how life works. Again thank you for the perspectives, I do appreciate it all. I hope you are finding the silver lining, sounds as if you do. I need to get back to finding them.

[CLB1125 in reply to PiMamaRea]

I can always give other people advice but don't always use it in my own life. You will find them. Here is a good place to interact with people from all walks of life and many countries. they all were life savers for me when I was at my lowest.

[PiMamaRea in reply to CLB1125]

I hear you on that. Often I hear myself saying things to others and wondering why I can say it but have difficulties implementing them for myself. You are correct on all points. Thank you.

[Sunrisetabby]

I have tried and failed many times to read Yiyun Li, yet the title of her work "Where Reason Ends" continues to resonate. You write that you are: "Sad the world places so little priority on happiness over frivolous things." How can you place more priority on your own happiness? Everything for me is a struggle right now, and I am trying to find happiness in my struggle. I am still failing but I am still trying.

[PiMamaRea]

Thank you, I have found the book and am adding it to my reading list. It is a struggle far too often and rearranging priorities is a constant battle I face. I have decided it is time to make aome long needed changes and rearrange my priorities. It is a work in progress. I am so glad to find people who are like minded and seeing things from the same perspective. I am most appreciative of finding connections here.