Almost Total Isolation

Among my many problems, I have about been almost in total isolation every night for 9 years. I have social anxiety disorder, no friends , I do go to a health club, had a few dates, but overall can't get myself to get out after 5pm. Then the next day, my self esteem plummets further and further from lack of contact with any friends. I see pp on this who are so positive - I am afraid I have never been that way. Any suggestions are appreciated !

17 Replies

  • Well, you can do what you've just done---reach out here!! That's a start! Online is better than not at all. You can have an online friend or 2 or 3. Then you might eventually branch out from there. The advantage of an online friend is that you can quickly discuss things you wouldn't discuss right away upon meeting someone in person. And you're in the comfort of your own home.

    I think I must address your social anxiety. For your good. Anxiety that keeps you home is too much anxiety, right? And too much anxiety needs to be treated effectively. For that it seems you haven't been successfully treated which tells me you must take the next step. Have you tried medication for that anxiety? It seems to be time to beat that problem with the right med. That means get to the right doctor and get this thing controlled while still talking to me or anyone online of your choosing.

    9 years is too too long to be chained to the indoors. You need a life!! You were not meant to be living alone and isolated. You're a social being and you need friends. You know? This may sound hard to do but you'll be so glad you did it! And you need to let the medication help you. This anxiety can be helped with medication. Really!! It's not all about willpower. And by the way, you need counseling, too. I promise, that's the last thing I'm going to bring up. There are 2 parts to getting treated for these type of problems and I'm no exception to these rules. I do it, too. Medication and counseling. Therapy and meds. You CAN have a life again. I am not making this up.

    Ok, now let's just talk. I won't say anything more about what you should do, I'll just listen to you. What's up with you?

  • Thank you - you are certainly right and I appreciate you taking the time to write this.

  • You're very welcome. What do you like to do when you're home in the evening?

  • I generally watch tv, read some times, and I think a lot- which is probably not the best thing. What is or was your field?

  • Medical/Clinical Laboratory Technology.

  • You are right, thinking a lot isn't so good. You need to be distracted from that.

  • Good advice Bonnie. I just joined minutes ago . I too suffer from depression and anxiety. Isolate myself, meds and therapy for past 4 yes. Lost insurance and job needing to find free help in Houston.

  • I understand about the job thing. Who wouldn't be depressed about that? What is your field? I know so many people are still going through job loss- it's really a crisis. I hope that you are able to get the help for your immediate needs.

  • Same. But you're better than me you go to the health club, you go on dates, you're on your way! You sound like you're on a positive path to me. Don't doubt the next day - why?. Keep doing what you're doing, you're on the right track. It sounds like you're doing everything right to move forward and I'm not even a positive person. Trust yourself!

  • Thank you

  • Nerdshelp44, isolation is not good for anyone. Do you have a therapist? Talking to one would be a good start. And you're dating, that is connecting to people. Try and plan things to do everyday. I take medication, it's very helpful. But it isn't the only thing. Connecting is very necessary. God Bless


  • Thank you- I am on medication but don't feel it works- can I ask what med you are on?

  • I take 80 mg Prozac in the am and Nortripyline 40 mg at night. I also take klonapin 0.5 mg when needed. Talk to your psychiartrist about it.LD

  • Thanks, I am on 20 Prozac, 150 Effexor, and 40 Mertazapine, I have been on numerous cocktails but not yours.

  • Are there people at the club you can maybe go for walks with? That could also be a start as well. It sounds like you are doing some nice stuff with your life.

  • That is great you go to a club. I am assuming you are on the younger side? At any rate thank you for your post and for sharing.

  • Getting outdoors now that it is Spring and just doing some yardwork , painting, whatever is needed can help- you need more than online, but at least you reached out. Would you like to even have a private "conversation" about what started and keeps up the isolation? Volunteering especially with the elders can be helpful also. They are generally so appreciative. Excuse all of the suggestions, but they are starting to work for me as well. Mine situation is different however. Enjoy the club.

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