Hi! This is my first time posting here… Ever since middle school I have shown signs of depression & anxiety. I got bullied often for how skinny & short I was, not to mention being an excessively hairy female. Throughout my childhood-teenage years my family moved a lot & we weren’t financially well off. My mom & stepdad had a very dysfunctional relationship & at times I was mistreated by my stepdad. In high school I suffered from physical assault by a close family member. This situation was brushed under the rug by my family. That was the first time I seriously wanted to commit suicide.
Since then I have experienced being raped in college, struggled with traumatic events from alcohol, physically assaulted again by a different family member, experienced a traumatic end to a romantic relationship, have been to a mental facility, & more (unfortunately). The ripple effects of the pandemic has only made things worse on top of my family not understanding my mental health issues. It’s been hard to find a somewhat fulfilling job post-grad & I currently live far from the few friends I have in a semi-stressful environment.
I have been to therapy a couple times in the past (provided by my school) & was once prescribed medicine for my anxiety & depression. But overall, I have been untreated for majority of nearly a decade. Now, it feels like I have been holding on by a single strand. And I’m not sure if I will ever get any help or if the help will even matter.
Written by
honeydipp
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There’s a lot I didn’t mention, but I can assume you all can understand how tough things have been for me with the info I offered… I guess I made this post for a little hope. Because I have little to none of that rn.
I understand just how you feel. I'm close to 60 & been through horrific traumas in my life. Too many to list but I feel your pain. What worked for me was a relationship with God. That's it, that's all. I believe my sufferings made me stronger and wiser. It's not for everyone. Meds help along with counseling for many of us. I grew to love myself, CONQUER my fears and forgive everyone... mainly myself. I help whenever and wherever I can regardless of race, income, background etc... my hope for you is that you can find peace, love and a joy for life. You are a masterpiece and loved by many. May you look in mirror and say..I am a beautiful, deserving and Worthy woman. Please treat yourself like the Queen you are... humbleness is key as well. Positive vibes sent your way 😘
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