Untreated Depression/Anxiety For Almost A Decade

[honeydipp]

Hi! This is my first time posting here… Ever since middle school I have shown signs of depression & anxiety. I got bullied often for how skinny & short I was, not to mention being an excessively hairy female. Throughout my childhood-teenage years my family moved a lot & we weren’t financially well off. My mom & stepdad had a very dysfunctional relationship & at times I was mistreated by my stepdad. In high school I suffered from physical assault by a close family member. This situation was brushed under the rug by my family. That was the first time I seriously wanted to commit suicide.

Since then I have experienced being raped in college, struggled with traumatic events from alcohol, physically assaulted again by a different family member, experienced a traumatic end to a romantic relationship, have been to a mental facility, & more (unfortunately). The ripple effects of the pandemic has only made things worse on top of my family not understanding my mental health issues. It’s been hard to find a somewhat fulfilling job post-grad & I currently live far from the few friends I have in a semi-stressful environment.

I have been to therapy a couple times in the past (provided by my school) & was once prescribed medicine for my anxiety & depression. But overall, I have been untreated for majority of nearly a decade. Now, it feels like I have been holding on by a single strand. And I’m not sure if I will ever get any help or if the help will even matter.

[honeydipp]

There’s a lot I didn’t mention, but I can assume you all can understand how tough things have been for me with the info I offered… I guess I made this post for a little hope. Because I have little to none of that rn.

[honeydipp]

thank you so much!

[downinthecrud]

I don’t want to give advice but medications, while not being a cure for me by any means, have helped me stay somewhat above water.

[honeydipp in reply to downinthecrud]

your comment is appreciated! I have considered starting back meds honestly

[Agora1]

I'm truly so sorry for all you have been through honeydipp. No one

should have to endure the mental abuse that you have. But know one

thing and that is to never give up on yourself. Hang on to that little strand

of hope, it is strong enough to pull you up again. Believe in that. You are

so worth the effort. I care xx

[Juju01_]

I understand just how you feel. I'm close to 60 & been through horrific traumas in my life. Too many to list but I feel your pain. What worked for me was a relationship with God. That's it, that's all. I believe my sufferings made me stronger and wiser. It's not for everyone. Meds help along with counseling for many of us. I grew to love myself, CONQUER my fears and forgive everyone... mainly myself. I help whenever and wherever I can regardless of race, income, background etc... my hope for you is that you can find peace, love and a joy for life. You are a masterpiece and loved by many. May you look in mirror and say..I am a beautiful, deserving and Worthy woman. Please treat yourself like the Queen you are... humbleness is key as well. Positive vibes sent your way 😘