The loneliness of self isolation

[Ladyred27]

I am afraid to go out and be with people.

I have been in isolation since March, I work from home, my husband is the only person I see in real life (he does go out to the office) and every 15 days I see my family.

I feel isolated, I want to be with other people, but I am afraid.

My friends go out and I can't. I worry about how they are taking care of the virus, I worry about how the people they are dating are taking care of themselves.

Sometimes I think I'm being too paranoid, sometimes my friends make me feel like I'm too paranoid. Sometimes I think that I am the only person who has chosen to stay home and not see anyone, the only person who does not meet to celebrate birthdays, the only person who is alone by self choice.

Sometimes my friends go out and I try to get ready to go out, but I can't. My head keeps creating the most horrible scenarios if I left the house. And I stay home crying and feeling more isolated than before.

But how can I be sure?

Does anyone else feel this way? Is someone else afraid, and yet wants to connect with others and can't?

[hypercat54]

What are you afraid of? Catching covid? Are you high risk or over 70? If you are I can understand why you are so worried about it. If not this sounds more like anxiety especially health anxiety.

[mrmonk in reply to hypercat54]

Caveat: People who are not high risk or are under 70 can catch the novel coronavirus and can die from it. They can also catch it and spread it, whether they are symptomatic or not. At this time, until there's a safe and effective vaccine, there is good reason to be afraid no matter your age or condition.

[hypercat54 in reply to mrmonk]

Yes of course they can, but it's much more often the high risk people who will die. Even then the majority survive. The other group are medics who must be continually exposed to it. You have to put it into perspective. The fact is the vast majority either suffer mild symptoms or some more severe but they still survive it.

Everything in life carries some risk. For example do you never leave your home in case you get mugged or knifed? Do you refuse to travel in a vehicle in case you are injured or even killed in a road traffic accident? No of course not. What you do is take sensible precautions to avoid what is in your control. The same with covid. It's not the Spanish flu or smallpox which was very often fatal you know!

The only way to totally avoid all risk is to lock yourself in the bedroom and hide under the bed. Even then the roof could fall in or the bed crushes you, or you might slip in the bathroom and crack your head open. Oh and if you are in the kitchen the knife might slip or you fall on it and it cuts an artery and you bleed to death. Ok I'm sure all these have happened to people but do you avoid all these as well?

It doesn't do anyone any good by bigging up covid more than it is. The risks should be evaluated accordingly, not presented as if you leave your home you will then catch it and die. That's irrational.

[mrmonk in reply to hypercat54]

Your initial comment implied that only those over 70 or with a preexisting condition need worry or fear infection. I stand by my rebuttal.

[Million13]

You are not alone I feel the same way. I also wonder if I am being to paranoid but then watch the news and see all the new cases in my area. My boyfriend is one of the only people I see. He goes to work everyday and I am left to sit and think. I do have other issues going on and get sick easy so this is why I have not went out. I am only 46 and feel like I’m 100. I did just have to start physical therapy on a knee I had replaced in November that should be healed by now but is still very painful. This has caused more anxiety because I have to leave my house three times a week. I just wanted to let you know you’re not alone in how you feel. I have my masters degree in social work and I still have problems with it all. The loneliness is awful along with the anxiety of it all.

[MountainLover22]

Completely relate and understand your post and will definitely not got political about it at all. This is a pandemic, so everyone should be somewhat hesitant to go out despite their age or health. We truly don't know everything there is to know about COVID. I think you are being smart, smarter than a lot more people out there. But being smart also can lead to a lot of doubts, especially as you see people go out and travel, or have friends invite you places when you are feeling nervous. Suddenly, you feel alone and isolated because "everyone else is going out, doing things, being social." That doesn't necessarily make it right. Maybe you could meet a friend or two at the park, for a social distance picnic outside and apart, or even you and your husband, just to get out of the house? Pack a small picnic, even bring a new food or drink to try. That's what I have been trying to do...small things that can make the day seem social and different than all the other days. Just a suggestion, obviously not a permanent fix, but something to brighten your day and be a bit more social.

[Ladyred27 in reply to MountainLover22]

Thank you very much. I really appreciate your tip, it seems like an excellent idea to practice.

[SuZQ154]

You are not alone. I get it! The way I have gotten myself out of being fearful is to keep myself informed about the guidelines and adhere to them. If we socially distance, wash our hands, don't touch our faces, and stay away from people who have any symptoms, we should be ok. Also, since I am a "faith" type person, I believe what the Bible says that the only fear I should have is fear of the Lord I pray for guidance, peace, and a spirit of courage during this time. I know it may seem silly to others, but it has helped me so much to stay calm during this stressful time. Hope this helps, friend!

[Ladyred27 in reply to SuZQ154]

Thank you very much. It's true, staying informed helps you not feel so overwhelmed with factual ignorance.

[Help_Me_Please]

Have you remained in isolation? About 3 months ago I had a nervous breakdown from all the social isolation (work from home, have groceries packaged and picked up, go no where see no one). After having the breakdown we relaxed a bit and will now visit my inlaws who are very careful with their contacts. Its hard to do the rational and right thing when it seems to cause you to loose some of your humanity.

[venusofthenorth]

I'm autistic and for a very long while for a very long list of reasons I had a similar problem before COVID. As of February I'm employed at a fast food joint after having been unemployed for the past four years, which largely solved the problem. People ARE dying in this epidemic and we don't know who they are or why they in particular are dying. The US in particular has massively failed people at all in dealing with this crisis. I think you have every reason to be frightened, every reason to stay at home and it's rather silly you have friends who think you're being paranoid on the matter. My suggestion is you adapt and get more active on social media, forum, online content and try to reach out to friends over chat functions and the phone to stay in touch, knowing this is a time of patience and passive duration. So far, you're doing a great job at that.