Total lack of support system- looking for others who can relate

[Katiess1128]

Hi all, I am new here- my name is Katie and I have a history of anxiety and depression that I am trying to deal with without medication (I had a rough go with Xanax for a few years and prefer to stay away). I do not have any support system- I have a very poor relationship with my parents and family who offer no emotional support (they live in the same state but we rarely speak and it has been this way since I was 17). I am financially on my own and have been for 11 years which causes a lot of stress at times. I have a few close friends but find them to be unreliable when I really need someone whether it is just a listening ear or actual help with a task/errand/etc. This makes it tough for me to put myself out there or ask for help when I really need it because it’s such a disappointment and a feeling that I am not worthy of support. I feel like everyone I know has a great relationship with their family but there has to be someone out there who knows what it feels like to cope completely on your own. Anyone in the same boat?

[Stilltrying_]

Hi Katie and welcome! Yes it can certainly feel like this at times! I have found that I actually have a special skill which I thought everyone had; that is empathy ! I just thought everyone had it but it isn't the case as sometimes maybe when people haven't been through rough patches themselves they find it hard to empathise and we can feel alone.

You sound like a strong character who like everyone else is also human and has low spots. Rest assured we are here and willing to listen.

Sending hugs, Gemmalouise XX

[Katiess1128 in reply to Stilltrying_]

Hi Gemmalouise! I definitely think that is part of it - my childhood and adult life have been different than the usual and it’s tough to find people who understand how it affects me! Thank you for your kind words

[JDGarza]

Honestly I know how you feel. Even though I have family I don’t feel like they understand how depression works. They think it’s as simple as just “do it or get over it” and they don’t understand why have days like yesterday when I can barely even get out of bed.

Ultimately I made the decision for myself to get help because I know I needed. I’m not saying you do. Just talking for me that I needed a professional to talk too and it did help a little bit.

I’ve currently on Sertraline and it’s been frustrating because it doesn’t seem to be working at all. I just have to be patient, but I’m sorry to hear your medication never worked.

Have you considered consulting a therapist or maybe joining a support group?

[Katiess1128 in reply to JDGarza]

Thank you!! I fully understand the feeling that no one understands. I did see a therapist last year and I liked her but she focused solely on EMDR and I felt like I needed to talk things out more rather than just processing past memories. I’d like to find a new therapist, I always worry about finding someone that I am comfortable opening up to but it would be worth a try again. I’ve never heard of setraline, but I know with any medication it can take time for it to even out. I hope it ends up working for you! Thanks for listening

[gogogirl in reply to Katiess1128]

I agree with finding a therapist or at least a supportive group of people . I switched therapists recently, and found a HUGE difference in a positive direction. I had one that I left some months back. I felt worse than when I started. She even made fun of me for missing my late parents. YOU are in the drivers' seat, and they are the ones getting paid.

[Katiess1128]

You’re totally right - I worry about offending them (I know it sounds silly) but I think I need to go with my gut. I think I’ll get the best outcome from therapy if I can really find the right person to talk to.

[gogogirl in reply to Katiess1128]

Absolutely! You have to take care of yourself, and remember once again they are getting paid!

[Katiess1128 in reply to gogogirl]

True! I’m also paying a copay so better get my money’s worth! Lol

[gogogirl in reply to Katiess1128]

You've got this- do not worry about offending anyone. You would not I am sure go to a regular MD who treated you with the wrong meds, right?

[Hidden]

Yes, I can relate. I wish you the best.

[bluecoco]

Darn I really can relate it. I feel that I am getting through it all alone. I have friends but I can't turn to them when it is really rough. You are not alone. I'm still trying to find a way to deal with it this way. You can chat with me sometimes if you want to.