Falling apart

[CopingKoala]

Hi, I'm new here. I'm hoping to find people going through similar issues that can help me and/or relate to me. I feel like I'm falling apart. Extreme stress and anxiety and depression have been a part of my life for many years now, but lately my body is falling apart.

It started getting worse last year. I found a lump in my breast. It was benign, but I had to have surgery and it took me months to heal. As soon I was cleared for regular activity I tore my meniscus in my knee. My insurance wouldn't pay for an MRI for 7 months of pain. Now I'm going to have knee surgery on the 24th of this month.

I also have a thyroid problem. It was low and now its too high. Hyperthyroidism is causing my heart rate to be high and giving me worse anxiety.

And to top it all off the health insurance barley covers anything and I'm putting medical bills on a credit card.

Sorry this was so long.

Does it get better or am I just going to be in pain for the rest of my life?

[Cookie2217]

Hi there CopingKoala. Welcome to the group and I hope that you find lots of people here that are able to identify with you and that you are able to relate to within the members of this group. I am sure that you will find that you will receive plenty of support here as well as helpful advice with everything that you have been going through lately. First off I want to tell you that I love your code name here CopingKoala is quite an adorable name. I myself have gone through a 5-year depressive episode that I am just recently within the last two and a half weeks have begun to emerge from and it was the most debilitating and difficult of my entire life. It began before covid and has lasted Non-Stop until present time. It made me feel like I would never ever feel happiness again in my life and then I was doomed to live in pain and misery and sadness as well as hopelessness and helplessness for the rest of my life. I just happened to find this group by a fluke really and I just began posting on here about a year and a half to two years ago. There are several groups here too that you can join as well as this group. There is one for major depressive disorder which I myself suffer from and I often post up there too along with up here. There's also a group for PTSD and there's also a group for anxiety as well. Just wanted to show you around a little bit so you knew a little of the ins and outs of this forum and how much help there is here for you. You are definitely going to find that you identify with some people more than others that's kind of just how it goes and you can definitely connect with those people and reply back and forth with them all the time as well as follow people too. I am so sorry that you are going through such a terrible time with your medical issues that seem to have been plaguing you for the last year or two that must be very difficult to deal with and it must feel like it's one thing after another. I am 55 now and has struggled with three different thoughts of depression throughout my lifetime with this past one being the most horrific. I can't imagine how afraid you must be going through all of these procedures and as soon as you heal from one then you're off to do another one immediately. I have a best friend, Lisa who is also going through the same exact thing right now. I talk to her each and every day trying my very best to give her all of the hope, love and support I can can to show her that someone is actually listening to her and that I care about her very much. Her husband, Tony is not supportive in any way and hasn't been to her for years. She is completely unhappy in her marriage and feels trapped like she can't leave and she has no options other than to suffer and just stay there in a loveless marriage. She's unable to work due to many health issues that she has including autoimmune diseases including Lyme disease, multiple back and neck problems as well as having a shunt that needed to be put in at the base which was done through brain surgery some years ago. In addition to all of these issues she just got into a bad car accident which wound up hurting her neck and back even further and her left arm that she had out the window was somehow pulled in back of her and she can't even straighten it right now. Just recently she also slammed her pinky in her car and broke it. My poor friend Lisa has more health issues going on right now than anybody I have ever known in my entire life. At times, my husband, Paul says that he can't believe all of the issues that she has and feels that she is a hypochondriac that just makes up stuff but I don't I completely believe everything she is telling me. Lisa used to work within the medical field as a medical assistant and she knows a lot about medical procedures and issues and often advocates for herself by looking up what ailes her so that she completely understands what's happening to her and her predicaments that she's in right now. She has recently obtained a medical marijuana card which helps her at times with pain and she says that it takes the edge off so she is able to cope with so much pain. Her husband frequently says things to her when she mentions anything about her pain completely dismissing it saying "well you didn't feel like this yesterday" other things that are so obnoxious quite frequently. Lisa is not the type of person that just lays around and does nothing though and is extremely active and does as much as she can within the home including cooking and cleaning and organizing her home she also does the laundry and in the past she homeschooled all of her children. Lisa can't get on Social Security Disability Benefits because her husband, Tony makes too much money doing what he does at an airport and Tony takes every opportunity to make Lisa feel guilty because he complains about money constantly to her but still she tries to hang in there and to please everyone and to keep a peaceful house but these issues keep coming up between her and Tony which makes them fight all the time. Lisa has to go for a procedure this Tuesday and needs to drive herself and at first she asked Tony to do it and he complained that he had to work and she asked maybe he could take a half day to help her and he said "no I'm already taking off on the 22nd when you're having your surgery on your shoulder." I can't imagine how Lisa feels right now being at his Mercy. So Tuesday she's driving herself and I told her to please be careful if I didn't live in Pennsylvania and have a job interview that day I would go down to New Jersey to take her to the appointment myself that's how much I care. So I just wanted to introduce myself say hello welcome and let you know that there are others out there that are suffering multiple medical issues just like you are so you don't feel like you're alone in this situation. Please get back to me if you'd like I'd love to hear how you are doing from time to time. I wish you peace and well-being during your journey here. Take care of yourself.

[CopingKoala in reply to Cookie2217]

Thank you Cookie for replying. 🤗 I am very lucky to have a supportive husband and family. My husband doesn't always get what I'm going through, but he helps when he can.

[Light21 in reply to CopingKoala]

coping, sounds like my husband, he tries so hard to help but gets frustrated with me. Unfortunately my family just doesn’t get it. I’ve kind of pushed them out of my life.

[CopingKoala in reply to Light21]

So sorry to hear that your family isn't there for you, but luckily your husband is.

[Light21]

CopingKoala,

Welcome to the group, I’m fairly new here myself. I’ve been here for a month or so and have found some very supportive people. Cookie is one of them, she seems to be so supportive.

Anyways I’m sorry that you are facing so many medical issues on top of your anxiety/depression. That is a lot to handle.

I’m sorry about the lump they had to remove from your breast and that it took so long to heal. I currently have a lump in my breast and I’m to scared to go to the doc and have it looked at, its pretty large but my anxiety is preventing me from making an appointment. So good for you for being able to take care of yourself. Did your lump have a name?

I hope that your knee surgery goes well and that you heal quickly.

About your thyroid issues. Are you getting your thyroid medicine from a general practitioner or an endocrinologist? My daughter was originally getting her medication from her pediatrician and she prescribed to high of a dose. She had hypothyroidism. It took 3 months to get her into a pediatric endocrinologist. Once she changed the dose everything turned out okay. So if you can I’d try to make an appointment with an endocrinologist, they specialize in the thyroid gland.

Do you have any supportive people around you? I sure hope that you do because you are going through a lot. It sucks that you have to put your medical bills on your credit card. You have to do what you have to do though so I think that is a very good reason to use your credit card for. It’s not a want but a NEED!

I will say some prayers and send good thoughts your way for your surgery on the 24th. Please let us know how it goes.

You are taking the right steps to get yourself feeling better medically. Be proud of yourself for getting things taken care of.

❤️🙏🙏😊

[CopingKoala in reply to Light21]

Thank you for replying Light. I am very lucky to have a supportive family. Please go to the doctor and have your lump checked out. Please! If they catch bad things early enough they can get them out before they cause too much harm. Also if you get it checked out, you can eventually be done with worrying about it. I am seeing and endocrinologist for my thyroid. Unfortunately the health care here with Nuvance stinks! It took me 9 months to get an appointment! Because my thyroid went too low to too high, he just wants to take another blood sample in May.

I honestly forgot the name of the lump I had in my breast, because they were wrong from biopsy to surgery and it changed.

[Light21 in reply to CopingKoala]

Coping,

I will get to a doctor once I start practicing on getting out of the house. I have agoraphobia and really haven’t been around anyone for the last 2 years. I need to find a therapist to help me with my fears. I’m not to worried about the lump. I will get there when I can. Thanks for caring 😊

That’s terrible that you have to wait so long to get your thyroid blood levels checked. Waiting nine months to be seen is crazy.

Have a good day 😊

[CopingKoala in reply to Light21]

The world is very scary these days. I can understand your fear of going out. I hope you can at least go outside in your yard on a nice day to enjoy the sun. Have a good day too!

[sunshinefan]

Hi and welcome. I can so relate with what you are going through. I too have a lot of pain and illness. I'm on a lot of medications and see a lot of health care providers and my health insurance doesn't cover a lot. In fact, I'm fighting with them over an inpatient stay I had that they aren't covering and they keep telling me my therapist is out of network and i know that not to be true.

I live with chronic pain and it is hard. I find that practicing gratitude is really helpful. If you can find somethings that bring you joy that you can do while recovering. Do you like art? Like coloring? Do you like puzzles? Or I LOVE sudoku. I also have found some shows that I like to binge watch so that while I am sitting on the couch I can watch a funny show.

Just know you are not alone and I can relate to what you are going through.

[CopingKoala in reply to sunshinefan]

Thank you sunshine. I try to distract myself with games and tv. I know my life could be worse.

I know the tension and stress I feel is the cause of some of my pain. I have headaches everyday.

[Dcgj]

I would say you are lucky because that lump

Was benign! I know that things go wrong. We all have problems some worse than others. you’re not dealing with anything life-threatening sometimes you need a perspective builder. Know if this will help you, but you have to look on the bright side sometimes. I hope that you can pull things together. My anxiety that can be really bad at times. I just struggle through it. There’s not a lot of options for me, but I don’t really depression anymore. I’m grateful for that. I have a few health issues, but nothing real serious.

I wish you all the best. Take care.

[CopingKoala in reply to Dcgj]

Thank you Dcgi. I know that I am lucky to have a wonderful supportive family. Unfortunately my depression and anxiety are exasirbated right now due to the pain I am in and my hyperthyroidism.