Depression, isolation and motivation

[Mpollo77]

Hi all-

I'm really struggling today in terms of getting the motivation to do anything. I ran a few errands this morning and got my haircut, but in terms of getting outside or around friends, I just have no motivation to do so.

I worked eleven days straight with today being my first day off since Monday, 4/8. I feel mentally and physically drained. There's a part of me that is giving myself permission to sort of stay in and lay low, while another part of me feels that the isolation and negative looping thoughts that start when I'm disengaged, are more hurtful than powering through a walk outside or meeting up with friends later tonight.

Sometimes I feel like I have such a low tolerance for people, yet, getting around others generally helps improve my mood. It just feels like such an effort. And if I'm not at the same energy level as others, I start feeling bad and thoughts about not being like or as social and happy as other people start creeping in. Then I really start feeling bad and disconnected from others.

Can anyone relate? If so, how do you manage?

[Shnookie]

U have every right to want down time after working 11 days straight. I have worked 7 days a week for almost the last 2 years. When I have the occasional day off, I sleep in for a good part of the time. Please give yourself credit for running a few errands and getting a hair cut. Be kind to yourself.

Hugs 🤗S

[Excludite]

Of course you’re drained and intolerant to people. Who wouldn’t? Kudos for running errands and getting a haircut. I can barely walk my dog. Don’t beat yourself up. Give your body and mind what they need.

[Shnookie in reply to Excludite]

Totally agree with you.

[litethatnevergoesout]

Mpollo, that’s all great proactive activity you’re doing and it’s not surprising that you’re apprehensive about sitting out on going to meet a friend or take time to engage people. those would be proactive as well, and as I understand it, proactiveness benefits you in the future rather than in the present, what will happen is you’ll create new memories and experiences you’re brain will store and recall as something good although you may not have felt very well during the event, it’s pays off in the future and can lead to more motivation.

Today I pushed through an agonizing panic attack to do something important, I was aware of how difficult it was the entire time, but now many hours later I remember the moments and not my difficulty, in fact, the more I think about it the more I wish I were back there again right now. so I look forward to the next time knowing that it most likely will remain a challenge but something worthwhile in doing.

don’t know how much sense I have made, but to answer your question directly, yes I do relate and I manage it by reminding myself I will be glad I did it in the future and focus on the moment not how I feel, I have a good supportive true friend teaching me to do this and encouraging me along the way.

[Phoenixinme]

you described how I feel and have felt for most of my life. You just helped me to see myself, and I’m grateful, and I’m going to be around people more, even though I don’t feel like I’m at my best mentally. Also, it’s okay to have some down time and rest, especially after 11 straight days of work

[Thurlesy]

I can completely relate to this. But don't be so hard on yourself. You worked all those days in a row. You need rest too.

[Joseph46]

I think it’s normal to want to lay low after working so much. Do you consider yourself to be an introvert or an extrovert? For me understanding that I’m an introvert helped me change my perspective about my need for quiet alone time.

[Zhangliqun]

Never wait for inspiration to do something. For the likes of us, this is backwards; it rarely if ever comes on its own. It's far more likely to come as a result of getting up, going and doing when we least feel like it than by waiting til we feel better.

In interacting with others or even just getting out for a walk around the block, the external inputs of other peoples' words, voices, facial expressions or even just the sight of flowers, grass and trees have a way of pulling us out of ourselves and giving those negative thought loops a nasty forearm shiver.

God made us to be social creatures, to "not forsake the fellowship of the brethren" as Paul put it. When we do isolate, the demons have us all to themselves and your only input is from them. They can't make us think anything but they can goad and suggest, and those of us with mood disorders are extremely vulnerable to this.

The more time you spend getting out and interacting, the weaker the thought loops will become. The more you isolate, the more dangerous they become.

There is an old American Indian proverb about a man teaching his son about good and evil, that each of us has inside us a good wolf and a bad wolf.

The son asks, which is stronger? The father answers, the one you feed.

So get up, go, and do...