Depression taking over

[Raintree]

I am a 38 single mother of 3 and grandmother of 1

I am so depressed that I find myself not showering or wanting to leave the house

I do work and am currently taking cymbalta for depression and Ambien for sleep

I am just so exhausted and lonely

I feel like I just don't want to live anymore

[Sclarkstone]

Hi. its ok to have days where you stay in bed and sleep (if you can sleep). Work, kids and grandkids, sounds like you've got lots of things to keep you busy. The dark thoughts, how often do you get them?

[Raintree in reply to Sclarkstone]

I have had them almost everyday for the past week and it is exhausting.I know that I need to talk to someone but with work,kids a grandchild where the mother is absent has caused me virtually no time to be able to seek counseling

[Sclarkstone in reply to Raintree]

How is your sleep? Are you due medication review? Sounds like you have a lot on your plate.

I find that when I need a break from my own dark thoughts, mindfulness techniques can help, it only takes 5minutes but sometimes that 5minute break can really help. I can talk you through it if you like.

[Raintree in reply to Sclarkstone]

Yes

I would love that

[Sclarkstone in reply to Raintree]

When your next outside pick up a stone or pebble or shell or leaf, whatever you see. Just one will do.

Then when you have 5mins, maybe before bed or when your feeling really low get the item you picked up. Spend the first minute looking at it close up, notice the patterns and shape. Then the next minute feel it, what is it like to the touch. Then the next minute smell it.focus just on the item and nothing else.

This little exercise will give you a break from your head and thoughts. You can then carry the item around with you and do the exercise whenever you need it or find a new item.

[Raintree in reply to Sclarkstone]

Thank You

I will definitely try this tomorrow

[Ah1232]

I know your struggle. I am there too. I am also a single mom of 2 boys. I am doing it alone and it is overwhelming and it makes u so drained and can get so depressed and just plain tired. If u can please do something for u. I know what it is like to be so depressed that u can't do anything. Even if it is just being in nature and sitting there. It doesn't matter what it is and give yourself a hug too. I am meeting some single moms on here and am so happy...

[Raintree in reply to Ah1232]

Thanks for the positive input

I am kid free tonight and am ordering a pizza and watching a movie

I do realize that I need a break... I do feel like this site will be good for communicating with others

I don't have really any other family than my parents and don't want to discuss my depression with coworkers or my parents

[Ah1232 in reply to Ah1232]

That's really good that you can relax and take care of yourself. I need to learn the word no I have noticed lately. I have my plate full and I took on more than I should have. Now I I am exhausted. I did make changes with these particular people.. like their out of my life changes. One of them was my son's friends mom they have been friends for years but his mom is the most selfless self centered person I have ever met so I had to make a tough decision to save myself from more craziness..

[drloonbird]

I once laid on the couch for 24 hours a day and didn't take care of hygiene or anything for two years. I am past that finally and doing much better. I take meds and get therapy and am currently doing TMS which is a treatment that pinpoints your brain and maps it and uses electric current to "cure" depression. Look it up on line; it is a new technology that WORKS. Unfortunately it's very expensive but is proving to be worth it. there IS a light at the end of the tunnel. Even my anxiety and panic attacks have improved.

[Raintree in reply to drloonbird]

That's great that you have improved so much.

I will look it up and do some research however money is very tight so that option probably won't work for me

I have decided to contact a counselor next week and at least schedule a time to go once a month

[drloonbird in reply to Raintree]

DEFIINITELY see a therapist...remember though that you need to find someone who "clicks" with you. I have been to many therapists a couple times just to see what happens and ended up NOT choosing them. I now have a therapist I adore. TMS is covered by insurance in some states, just not KY where I live. Good luck to you...I don't know why we were born like this but it does suck! Just know you're not alone...I need to remind myself of that fact, too.

[drloonbird]

I once laid on the couch 24 hours a day and didn't tend to my basic hygiene or anything. YOU are NOT alone! Don't ever feel that you are. Are you in therapy? When you pick a therapist make sure it's someone you"click" with. I have been to many therapists over the years and go a couple times and then don't go back if the chemistry isn't right. Find a good fit. Therapy isn't the answer to everything, I know, but it helps you feel like you're doing something to fight back at least.

[57mommyo3]

Praying for you