Anxiety is taking over my life

[Leatherjacket15]

I honestly have never felt so empty and lost in my life. I am stuck in a place where I feel like I am giving out everything I have and more and gaining nothing but stress and disappointment. I have never been so unhappy the way I am now. The way my life is now. The way my relationship is going. My relationship with God, my family, my once existing friends whom I would always talk to and now have no communication with. I keep pushing for better days, for healthier and sane moments but they are not coming. I’m pushing but in all honesty I think I’m just being pulled into a swamp of depression. I have no energy to keep going, I have no motivation to keep the little positivity I have going. I just want to be saved.

[JesusMyKoning]

Hi Leather Jacket

I am sorry to hear that you are feeling this way.

It is terrible to have this feeling, but dont let it take over your life!! you are stronger than this, you must believe it. I have recieved calming pills for my anxiety, and i must honestly say, the only thing that helped to calm me is to pray....just go down on your knees and thank God for what He has given you, and give Him this feelings you have. He will carry them for you. Just let go cry it out and talk to him. You wont believe how good you will feel afterwards.

Stay strong, believe and get back up again!

[Leatherjacket15 in reply to JesusMyKoning]

Thank you so much. I hate that I am not in a good place with God and my mom actually always gives me that advice..to pray in my knees and give it all to him. Thank you so much!

[BlueBelle06]

I'm in a similar place. I'm a giver too and sometimes when you are a giver with depression it can completely exhaust you. My best friend wont talk to me because I tried to have a talk with her about how our friendship felt unbalanced. Its a really hard place to be. My depression and anxiety are out of control. no motivation. no energy.

I'm trying to get back to my relationship with God, praying, devotionals. I wrote a list of friends - not just close ones but any to see if I can rekindle (because I spent so much time on this best friend). My family is dysfunctional, revolving around my "sick" narcissistic mother.

You are trying by reaching out to your friends on this site and that's something positive!

[Leatherjacket15 in reply to BlueBelle06]

Thank you so much BlueBelle06, being a giver is not easy. Your insight has really given me perspective, I had a best friend who was notbas loyal as she should had been. I lost both of my best friends because of that and it’s been hard trying to find someone who gets you when there were years in those friendships. But good times will come.

[No1wthayla]

Hi, Leather Jacket.

It's terribly hard to be a giver. You help everyone you can. You do this because you know you will feel bad if you don't offer. I have had several deaths in my family in the last year (3) but my sisters see me as "trying to weasel" my way into the wills of two of them. They think that I had convinced them (grandmother and uncle) that I am the only one who deserves to inherit. It's hard too because I have forgiven my older sister but she asked me "what do I need to be forgiven for"? Then she yelled at me about it. I still care about her but don't know how to reach her.

I also separated from my husband over 4 years ago. He was toxic to me, no longer loyal. I hated to kick him out but he just wasn't being honest with me. He didn't want to change. I was scared a bit about being alone after 17 years of marriage, 30 years of knowing him as my best friend. But I got past it by an acronym I put on my whiteboard at work: YCDIWM (You can do it without Matthew). It still hurts a bit.

Take your time and give to those who will accept your help. Don't let the naysayers knock you down. Keep doing what feels right to you and change anything you need to change. Get out of the toxic relationships and live your life as you prefer. Who cares if it isn't perfect. Life is never easy and you gotta believe that it will change. Giving up isn't a solution. And God can give you the comfort you need. His love is ever constant.

[Leatherjacket15 in reply to No1wthayla]

Wow this honestly really got to me. I am so sorry to hear about your marriage and about your sister. I hope that you can all get along because life is so short. Thank you so much for your response and that acronym is honestly so inspiring to me.

[No1wthayla in reply to Leatherjacket15]

Thank you. Best of luck to you and prayers for comfort.

[ge99]

Hi, stay still, be calm and relax. You are trying to do big things when little ones are so much more unattainable. Keep in the moment, breathe slowly and sit down quietly, be with yourself and say out loud what you would like to feel, but as though you already feel it. For instance "I feel calm" and say it softly and meaningfully. Wait until that feeling starts to appear. Then smile, make yourself a warm drink and stay in the moment. Now is all that matters, a little bit of peace in a hard day. All my best wishes to you.

[Agora1 in reply to ge99]

Great advice ge99.... wishing you well. xx

[lalit458]

That’s the story of everyone who is suffering from anxiety and depression, I am also in the same que. u need to talk about your feelings with whom who can understand u. Same person of same problem will definitely help, as u will feel that u are not the only one.

[Hidden]

Hi. I noticed you wrote this a year ago but it your experience has made me realize I am not alone. I to feel a bit lost and unsure of who I am. I feel like I am so much of a people pleaser and perhaps a giver that it is hard for me to find my own true self - and in a sense I feel that I tend to please other people a lot in order for them to like me. Then I find myself exhausted and anxious about the relationship, any relationship. It is hard to be me.

So in a sense I do understand when you are frustrated with relationships and also losing friends is hard as well! Over the years I feel like my anxiety and insecurities keep me from maintaining lasting friendships and trust, so you're not alone. Some days are better than others but I have found out that you learn so much about yourself if you can just push through. Hang in there!