Fear of having another baby

I have a history of depression and anxiety. After the birth of my daughter I went through severe postpartum depression and anxiety. She is three now and I am still recovering. I have anxiety surrounding my daughter and her care and safety. I worry constantly about her and freak out if she gets sick or hurt. I thought I wanted to have two kids but now I am not so sure. Having one has proved to be difficult for me but I feel guilty for not giving my daughter a sibling. I am 32 and the clock is ticking, but I don’t know if I could handle another child. I fear another child would push me over the edge. I felt like I lost my mind with Lucy. Anyone with prior postpartum depression have a second child and not get postpartum depression again?

5 Replies

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  • the clock is ticking? You thought you wanted to have two kids but now you are not so sure? Having one has proved to be difficult for me but I feel guilty for not giving my daughter a sibling?

    Is someone trying to force you to have another kid or something?

    When you had your first child and realized you had post partum depression, did you at least get the help of a doctor on dealing with it? It sounds like you may not have and I wonder why you would want to go through that again unprepared?

    I will be honest with you, we as humans have our limits and it seems you reached yours with your first and are still trying to recover from it. So the decision is yours whether you are going to repeat the mistake of your past and maybe end up with two kids and even more depression and anxiety over two instead of just one, or you choose to make wiser choices this time around.

    I am pretty sure you can have 10 kids if you wanted to but you already know there is a problem. Why not work hard at finding treatment for that problem so that no matter how many you end up with, that problem is no longer an issue for you to fight with or carry around the guilt of?

  • No one is forcing me to have another. A part of me would like to have another child and part of me is scares. I’m not thinking of trying for another in the near future, but in the next few years I might see where I am and consider it. I do go to therapy and I am on medication. Having my daughter was not a mistake, but the best thing that ever happened to me. I would definitely work on myself more before trying for another.

  • In that time, you should please get treatment for the depression rather than think you can do it on your own. Work with your doctors to get your dosage right so you can at least start enjoying your current kid before you next one comes along.

  • Lots of women have post natal illness and go on to have more than one child.

    I wouldn't worry too much.

    I am sure having your daughter was not a mistake.

    You in some ways are at an advantage the second time round as people will be on the lookout if it does happen. The support will already be in place.

    I don't think you have reached your limit or you would be repeating your mistake. It is quite natural to be a bit scared because of what you've been through.

    Could you talk to your GP about it?

  • Hello.

    It is a very difficult question to answer.

    Statistically you are more at risk because you have had it once with your first child. But that is no guarantee you will get it

    Lots of women take comfort in the fact their doctors and Midwives are aware of it previously, so it can be picked up earlier and you will get the support you need.

    I had a friend who had puerperal psychosis with her first child, had twins next and was ok.

    I don't think there is an easy answer for you, sorry.

    Did you get help and treatment the first time round?

    Best wishes ❤️

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