Feeling lost

Not having an easy time with this, my son is 27 and daughter 14 both great kids, well one adult and one teen. I've been married 29 years this month . my son is a college graduate from art college and doing well financially and would like to be responsible and independent which is good and most people say it's time and I shouldn't be depressed that he will be moving out by April 1st , it's only 25 min away , but I can't seem to stop crying , we are very close and I'm afraid that will change , I like his girlfriend and I am now friends with her mom , we all get along . I was so close to buying a two family home , half for us and half for my son and his girlfriend but I was out bid. And his girlfriends lease is up April first so they needed plan B . He assured us he will be around and want us at his house too and it won't seem any different . But I can't shake this feeling and tears just fall. I called my psychiatrist and she upped my meds, I already have high anxiety , I've been going to the gym more too working out and eating healthy . But still this sucks. I try not to show it in front of him because I want him to be excited for this new chapter in his life.

4 Replies

  • I totally know that feeling!! I have 4 kids, they are now 22, 22, 24, 26...and I can tell you it does get better. But, I still get that empty feeling sometimes. Just started living without at least one of them living with us back last October:(. They live close and always end up needing something.

    It is hard...I think to our house being the house that all friends came to, the safe, cool place for them to hang. I still am Facebook friends with a bunch:)

    My husband keeps saying I just need to go out and make friends for my self...build a new life. Maybe, join a club...knitting, art, something that is enjoyable to you and only you? Don't join cuz it was something they liked or you did with them. It has to be about you for you:). They are moving on without us...we need to do the same right? Hard I know!!

  • We are close and it is very hard, we are going to help him paint tomorrow and are included in his life but I find myself nesting in his room making his bed because he stays at his girlfriends house most nights but still comes home a night or two a week but as of April first they will be in their own place, . I'm missing him already but he says nothing will change. I hope

  • It will change, but you will adjust. He will still need you! I think that is a big part of what us Mothers' have such a hard time with, we liked to feel needed. They will always need us, just not in the same ways. Make plans to visit, find out what he needs and show him that you can help him with whatever he needs. They don't always tell us right out, but it is hard for them too! At first they are excited thinking wow this is great, all on my own, but give it a couple months and I bet he will miss you more than you miss him:). I know all of my kids have come out and said that after they were on their own for awhile. You may find that it makes your relationship with him even stronger in just a different sort of way. Just try to stay positive...I'm not saying your not going to ball your butt off once and awhile, but you will find it gets easier, then harder, then easier;) Ugh, kids! I'm hear to listen anytime!

  • Thank you so much, it had been a month and yes I still cry occasionally , but yes we see him and he is doing very well and I'm so proud of all his accomplishments , it is still very hard and I have tears in my eyes now thinking about it, but yes he does still need us for advice and his mail still comes here , he cones home every couple of days and we do lunches ,and dinners , together occasionally , and when I'm at the store I pick up his favorites. Thank you for listening ❤️

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