Jerk speaks...again

[Lain599]

I asked him to leave for the day and night. I simply cannot stop major depression hitting me with such a poisonous, loud buffoon. So, he asked "so, you want me to leave? I can now legally. You want me to mow the lawn, not do dishes...and go?" I texted him back, (only way we communicate,) and replied, "yes, exactly!" So, he left. However, he decided to take my eldest to Lunar Golf, which is extremely worrisome. He told him NOT to ever help around the house. My son has Asperger Syndrome, plus, a serious mood disorder. My husband convinced him not to take the medications that helped him with his moods, delusions, and hallucinations. Now, he also convinced him not to accept support and health insurance.

Now, my once loving son, at 20, loathes me tremendously. He strongly identifies with my husband so, is surly, steals, and lies. He also no longer is kind or does chores. He is dropping out of college and his dream of working his way up Embassy Suites became being a permanent busboy. Now, he keeps coming home, cutting work, I believe saying that they did not need him. I got him to empty the dishwasher with me. I said something about work being easier in the company of each other. He was revolted and disgusted by me. He told me that I "creeped him out." My husband obviously got to him.

My youngest is afraid of being abandoned. His father let him know that in no certain terms that he was "a loser." At 12, his father forced him secretly not to take his medications. My son is Bipolar. So, pretty much on his birthday, my son had a full psychotic break. Due to testosterone shots to help him gain puberty, my son gained a massive amount of weight. Before, he was very popular. He is smart and funny. He is also, very deep. Sensitive, this harmed him, as well. I did hypnosis with him. He regained an integral part of himself back...his humour.

Anyway, he has horrible nightmare and calls out "mommy!" (He never referred to me as 'mommy' before.) He is terrified of being abandoned as my husband told him that if he stayed with me my son would find himself homeless. Nice. My son is also, rightly upset because I am very upset about his father and brother instead of noticing he is always there for me. He suffers greatly in joint pain. I got him in physical therapy. He also avoid taking care of himself or grooming at all. He has not brushed his teeth for a very long time. In order to help him, I have made a dentist appointment but, due to a family emergency, his dentist won't see him for 2 weeks. My son has promised to take better care of himself afterwards. His skin is painfully sensitive. Showers hurt him. He banged against a tissue box when he sat. It turned his skin red.

So, anyhow there is life. I went to a pro bono lawyer yesterday. Actually, Friday. They will call me in 3 days. All hinges on me getting proper legal aid. Then the workforce in helping me go to school, a chapter 7 lawyer which will enable me in being considered for a much higher paying job here, with full benefits and tech school. So, it is a lot.

2 humorous (very slightly, points the day before, My spouse had to attend a divorce/parenting class for 4 1/2 hours. He was the only male. There was also 7 women who HATED there husbands AND him.

The other, is not really humorous, more like a Hah! He went out in front of the neighbors to shout how ' he had to cash OUR son's college certificates for food due to my extravagance.' I retorted "You mean YOUR lawyer." He went away muttering my lawyer cost too.

[gogogirl]

He convinced you son who has a disability not to accept health insurance? You can research the Special Needs law ( federal) which I think enables people with Special Needs to get help through the school systems ( public) until they are 22. I do not know the details, but please look into this. You probably know this already . Also, see if there is a asbergers support group in your area. It's possible that 211 would be able to give you suggestions. It sounds like you need to get out of the house and just breathe and do something for yourself. Easier said than done- but you need support - again I hope that you have family or friends on whom you can lean. Sending you a big hug!

[gogogirl in reply to gogogirl]

Oops grammar police here- it should be an asbergers not a.

[Lain599 in reply to gogogirl]

I get Asperger wrong too! Wait...you must hear what happened yesterday! Read on!

[Imakook]

Wow, Lain!

What a Boing-Ding that (soon to be ex?) husband of yours is Now, is he the biological dad to both boys? I mean, either way he's a dipshit of the worst kind!!! I was just curious.

I'm really glad you posted about it. I don't know if you slam him to the boys (and I would certainly understand if you did), but I grew up with parents that were really dysfunctional and, when they divorced, they were extra-specially crude to each other and used my sister and I as ammunition against each other. Even when they were married they were violent and cruel with each other, using horrible stories about each other's parents, so that I grew up thinking that my paternal grandpa was a bootlegger, counterfeiter and starved Grandma to death! Then on Mom's side I believed, until a few months ago (I'm 61), that my biological Irish grandfather (who died before I was born) was a chronic alcoholic and died as an ultimate result.

So. My belief is that many people will be compelled to do the right thing and to see the forest for the trees.

The jerk's horrible actions are unforgiveable! It's bad enough & very tragic that he's turned your son against you, since you are the best person to nurture & "be there" for both of the boys. You seem like a loving parent, while your ex is a very sick individual who should not be parenting even a 20 year old, since your son is a vulnerable adult & shouldn't be allowed within 2 COUNTIES of your son!

I think gogogirl gave you some solid, straight-up advice. I wish you the best. Let us know, please how you're doing. We're here for you!

[Lain599 in reply to Imakook]

Hi there!

Yesterday was a fiasco. But first, my eldest is returning to himself already. The amazing jerk is gone! Evey tough he was exceedingly nasty and dangerous to me, I thought in some twisted way he was attempting to be a good father and kept myself from bad mouthing him which resulted in a severe depression and sense of wrongness in my self for 30 years. He blamed me for everything that went bad. From his losing a friend to the boys having no friends...bankruptcy, my eldest being molested, the kids having bipolar and colonic dystmotility, (he sided with the doctors we saw on the latter but I fought and found a good one. They were diagnosed and treated.) He told my youngest that I hated him and so, he ran away. I followed him to ensure his safety but my youngest thought I was ensuring he would not return. (I was told this by my youngest three days ago.)

Friends? We had none. He said it was my fault. In a way, really bizarre way, it was. He told potential friends and their parents that I was dangerous. An um-medicated, raving Bipolar woman. So, for the boys, since 4, after my eldest had been molested...(I KNEW there was something seriously wrong and dangerous about that family but my husband told me I was keeping my son over sheltered,) and 2 for my youngest, the boys had no friends. Last year, I found out. Or rather, my youngest discovered the truth by questioning a former friend. Then, I humiliated myself by telling potential friends' parent that I was bipolar and in a bad marriage. They began to keep a few, very few, friends after that. I also, had no friends for the same reason. He lied and bad-mouthed me to absolutely everyone I came in contact with, even my neighbors and university where they investigated me and told me not to befriend anyone. CPS has been called on me 6 times and the police by him. So, now, I must write to Austin to clear my name.

Anyhow, he kept me away from everyone and separated me from the boys calling me a 'toxic' mother. I believed him and was very, very depressed and ashamed that I was not normal.

If we went swimming he took the boys away from me, so I was all alone, a leper.

Anyhow, I tried not to bad mouth him. He mocked my voice because I did not play the boisterous and jolly distant parent well enough. If I did housework on time he would back off in a watchful manner., It was depressing. I could only play perfect every few days and then I crashed.

Three months ago, I was wrongfully put on a water retention drug that caused serious bipolar depression and vertigo. ( It is being pulled.) So, right after knee surgery, I got both depression and vertigo. I still had to be a good wife and make dinner. The short, the floor tilted, I fell and twisted my ankle open. After he went to N Y he left me, in a wheel chair, trapped in the living room and he put my son with Asperger in charge. Lots happened. It was nightmarish. A few weeks later, he had separated the boys from me, their crazy mother. My husband announced he had enough and was divorcing me and taking the boys and then they went to Brahms. So, I OD-ed on 200 Ativan.

I do not know why I am here but I am. He filed for divorce, again, (he apparently had done so last year,) and tried to take my sons away from me whilst telling them he hated them. He would throw my eldest in jail and my youngest could die in the streets.

I survived. I was put in sub standard hospital. Every day that I called to beg for clothing he told me how the boys hated me. Threw much effort, I was to be released. My husband refused to get me. Five hours later, the boys found out and picked me up.

So... if you are still here...we come to yesterday. My husband, I told to leave...after he mowed the lawn!

He showed up and began to redo the chores that I had not done to his liking. He attempted to get to my eldest and to scream at me.

I had found a lawyer who seemed and probably is, an older brother to my husband in a not literal way. He was not working for me at all! My husband told me that if he deemed that I was good enough, he might help us but that I had to pay for everything and would have no health insurance. (Truth mixed with lies.)

I discovered that we WERE about to be homeless! In Texas, one is not considered to be abused unless physically beaten to a pulp.)

I talked to a lawyer in Austin for 5 hours or more. She went way out to help us. She wrote me a formal letter to send to my lawyer demanding my rights. If he did not respond, all would be lost...He answered double quick! NOW, he is truly representing us and taking my husband to court to ensure we are okay.

My husband has been stealing our funds for his lawyer whilst we starved. He also was not going to pay for my youngest son's anti-psychotic. I talked to the pharmacy who loaned me enough to make it. My husband forced my youngest to sign away his college funds. He did not get an allowance but my eldest did times three. My darling husband was trying to separate my eldest from us.

Well, so far. he failed. His evil plot to destroy us financially and spiritually is thwarted by four weeks.

He gave us 1/2 of a budget whilst he is at Austin. I am unsure as to what to do. I think it might be breaking the law, I really hope not, but I needs must sell some boxes of cards he collects that are in the garage. (The very valuable ones he already took out. One card alone is beta and worth $50,000.) That quite upset and shocked me.

So here we are. It is today and I really, really hate this guy!!! I also feel rather shocked and depressed that the 'helping' authorities were so callous and dismissive. I did call the crisis line back. They had called to see if I was alive but they are really rude. At least here.

[Hidden]

I'm glad that you are fighting the good fight for you & your son!!! Stand your ground & stay as strong as you can!!! This is going to end up in your favor, because you sure do deserve it!!! Love, hugs & joy!!! XXX

[Lain599 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you! I really want to win !! I also want to someday help other women, children, and animals to make it!

[Hidden in reply to Lain599]

You are very special!! Keep up the good work you are doing! Love & Hugs!!!

[Lain599]

Wow! Thanks! (God, I am soooo tired!)

[Hidden in reply to Lain599]

Are you able to sleep? I'm hoping that you can, love & Hugs!!!

[Lain599]

That is so nice of you to ask! The night before I did not but I slept almost 3 hours last night.