The last straw

I have such a sickening feeling in my stomach, my head is loud and confusing, my heart keeps skipping beats and it feels so tense, I have hate for everything right now. I have never felt this done with my life and I don't feel like it'll ever stop until I just end it all. I'm so scared that I'm going to do something because I've been pushing everyone away and I just keep getting thoughts about driving somewhere far away tonight and ending it all. I don't really have energy to talk myself down anymore and my rage just takes control. I'm losing myself and I just want to die. I'm drowning and I'm almost out of breathe... no one is going to reach in and grab me out of the water. I've been drowning for so long now

3 Replies

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  • Hi. It makes me sad to know that you're suffering so much. It makes me even sadder to read that you see ending your life as being your only option. It's NOT.

    You NEED:

    1. To see a GP ASAP who will refer you to a Psychiatrist for meds and diagnosis;

    2. To see an EXPERIENCED psychologist ASAP who will help you get to the root of the problem;

    3. Develop a supportive network of people. This forum is one; a 24hr mental health line could be another; Heal My PTSD is another forum here that I feel you would benefit from joining;

    4. Develop an exercise routine that will help you get that rage out of your mind and body;

    5. Look to soothing music to listen quietly to. There's loads on YouTube;

    6. Journal and/colour ... it helps;

    7. BELIEVE WITH YOUR ENTIRE BEING THAT YOU'RE GOING TO GET BETTER! but

    8. You MUST locate the source of your pain and deal with it once and for all;

    9. Suicide is NOT AN OPTION. If you're feeling unsafe, then go straight to ER;

    10. Eat and sleep well;

    11. Read 1-10 again.

    Please don't despair. You will overcome this with personal work, commitment, patience and time. so go easy on yourself.

    Cheers 🌹

  • I've been exactly where you are. Tired. Tired of it all. What can I do to help you? Please ask anything that you need. The response above is invaluable. Read it again. Please message me if you need to.

  • When you feel like you just want to die, call one of these numbers: 1.800.273.8255 and 1.800.784.2433.

    There are experienced counselors answering these phones and you can talk to them about how you feel.

    At least talk to them to be extra sure you really want to hurt yourself before you actually do it. I happen to think you're worth keeping around. I don't mind talking to you about this at all. I'd be happy to. Just try me.

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