My hardest year in the last 30

[ItsJustMe75]

Here I am, again. I've been here before, but always pulled myself out of the dark. I can't seem to find the strength to do it this time. Sure, I keep putting my strong face on. Get up, carry on with life, but I'm barely getting that done now. And no amount of explaining to those close to me helps them understand just how hard it is for me right now, to get out of bed, to shower, to give a damn that I wore these clothes yesterday, and the day before. Or make them understand why I seem on the verge of tears for no apparent reason; why I can't sleep at night, or why the things and people I love aren't enjoyed now. Everything is coming at me, it seems, from the chaotic trauma of trying to help my daughter escape an abusive relationship to the death of my brother. I have to shake this! I have to get back to ME, before it destroys the people who love me and want to help, but Don't know how. They can't save me. I have to do that myself, as I have so many times. This time, I don't know where to start.

[Peacewithin]

Every day being a struggle is hard , you ask God to help me make it one more day. Even if you skip the laundry you still matter and are GODS child he never forsake us. I am preaching to myself because I can't get the negative ghosts out of my mind. Keep fighting a good fight. Watch a funny movie or call an good friend.

[ItsJustMe75 in reply to Peacewithin]

Thank you so much. I'm doing those things, and it helps me get to the next minute, but I can't keep putting the people who matter most to me through this. I tell them it's not their fault, but they take the blame upon themselves. How do I get ME back? The strong, optimistic, motivated person I was/am? Where's the "switch" I flip that shuts this off?

[Thegreenpath]

I am sorry you are not in a good place right now. You have been through a lot. Have you considered therapy? If so, has it helped in the past?

I suffer from anxiety although I can relate.

It can be hard to find the strength to cope, over and over again.

Be good to yourself.

[Ragdoll15]

Your post could have been writtenby myself. I feel exactly the same as you, finding it hard to do everyday things and also helping a daughter in an abusive relationship. I feel she needs me but feel unable to help much due to my anxiety/depression which is debilitating, along with chronic pelvic pain. I do pray that you will find peace of mind and the will to work through your pain. Yes we are the only ones that can do this. You are not alone!

[JkBrauer]

Hello, ItsJustMe75,

I am sorry to hear about all this frustration and stress you are dealing with right now.

Life can throw some hard blows, but there is always hope. There is a great place that I have found excellent help from years past. I have a link that I can give to there is great information and you can also contact a counselor for free too. "Keep your chin up!"

Life Challenges | Focus on the Family After clicking onto the link look on the top menu click Life Challenges. This will take you to another page that you can scroll on and/or on the right side are a list of counseling help that you can choose from by clicking on it. I hope you can find something here to help you. I am praying for you too!