Have given up!: I'm at the point where... - Anxiety and Depre...

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Have given up!

Jilld1314 profile image
7 Replies

I'm at the point where I've given up with everything. I don't know what to do with my life. I get support from a parent to pay for my bills that will be cut in half in the spring so I have to find a job soon because we all know how health care is going to be in the new year and co-pays for my prescriptions are going to go up and if I don't have that coverage from him I'm not going to be able to afford it. I'd like to go through the marketplace but because I've been getting everything under the table per se I'm afraid of what they would ask me for as far as documentation, why not working, why I haven't been working, all this questions when I just want a break on my Healthcare. why does this have to be so hard? why do I stress about every little thing? and this past week was hell just trying to communicate with my psychiatrist. their staff used to be so nice and yes I can be high maintenance but in this field aren't you supposed to show some kind of compassion or empathy for people that are going through hard times in our lives, medication changes etc. I'm so unsure of things so I don't know what to do if I should stay with the same one I've only been with him for 2 months same with therapy I'm not sure if it's helping. I don't know what to do I'm stuck. I feel like I'm drowning and I can't catch my breath everything is so overwhelming. I have two interviews this week I don't even want to go to. I put on the weight some weight from Depakote and I'm about a size 6 which isn't terrible but trying on clothes this morning looking for an outfit for interviews was so painful and frustrating and it shouldnt be like this I should be looking forward to it. I don't get it I can't grasp why I'm feeling this way and why it won't go away it just frustrates me even more. 😥😣😓

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Jilld1314
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Jilld1314 profile image
Jilld1314

Disability isn't an option for me because I get support from my one parent even that's going down but the process is ridiculous I have friends that are worse off than me and it's taking over 2 years for them to even get a court date so I'm just going through a really hard time right now and no I will eventually pull myself up but it's frustrating at the moment not knowing what to do or where the money is going to come from just everything being a big ???

Jilld1314 profile image
Jilld1314

It's a long hard process to get disability and to even finding a job seems like it would be daunting and it's overwhelming a lot of pressure on myself not sure how to deal with it

in reply to Jilld1314

I receive disability took me about two years. I found a site online don’t remember but some place where they help you fight for your case to receive SSdi. The lady was extremely nice. She fought for my case and pretty much filed my reports for me like seeing a psychiatrist or which health care clinic I go to and provide these documents as further proof to social security administration office. Then I got a letter saying I’ve been accepted. I just told the lady that was helping me that my situation was no joke and was super serious . That might of mAde my case easier.

Jilld1314 profile image
Jilld1314 in reply to

Wish it was that easy I intend on being back to work within six months but it's not fair that I have to be forced to go back sooner especially with everything I've been going through Healthcare is ridiculous I'm on for 5 prescriptions insurance is going up co-pays going up so just trying to catch my breath with everything everything in my life is so overwhelming hard to know what to do

in reply to Jilld1314

I would agree. I’m lucky that when I filed for disability I had a roof over my head provided by my loving parents. I had to do my part too, which was to call ssa and my attorney from time to time. While I waited for the yes for my money I also had to see my psychiatrist daily and take my medications also. I guess ssa wants to know that you ain’t bullshitting. After about a year and a half or so I got it. It was frustrating trust me but I had to be patient and stay positive. I truly believe that you can get it too if your condition is severe. By the way I suffer from crippling anxiety, ocd, agoraphobi, depression, and PTSD. Do you have anyone who is willing to take you in if you do decide to apply for ssdi? Working under all that stress is only going to make you more stress. And how long you’ve been working? I receive ssdi because I have worked a certain amount of years to qualify for it. I also filed for Medicare and partnership health plan of California. Got them both and they help pay for my meds. Give it a shot. I hope for you the best stay strong I’m here for you.

ComingUpRoses profile image
ComingUpRoses

I'm 31 and live with my parents. I've been stuck in this situation for longer than I'd like to admit. I've gotten to the point where I'm caring for both parents and my grandmother, and doing small errands now for a family friend. I started putting in job applications this past week because I'm tired of drowning in my situation. I'm trying very hard to push through my anxiety and depression over looking for a job, but it is very hard.

My point is I very much feel your struggle. I know it's no easy task and it's all so extremely overwhelming. I worry about my spotty job history and no one wanting to hire me. The best I can say is try your best not to worry about these and push forward. That is what I am trying to do each day. I'm finding setting little daily goals are helpful.

We're all here and totally get you! I know you can do this. I know it all feels daunting, but one little step at a time, right? No matter what we're hear to listen to and understand you.

Hi Jilld

I fully sympathise and understand how it feels. I have been there myself. Opening a new chapter in my life now. The sad thing is that there is so much stigma around mental health issues. I feel for you. There is no compassion or understanding from employers. If you openly admit that you be taken some time off to take care of your health the assumption would be that hi are likely to be off sick again and possibly long term. Therefore they won’t twke that risk. What you are left with is lying and bluffing and covering up. And then you read statistics how many applicants are dishonest and lie in cvs and about their work history or dates of employment. I wonder why...? Do they have a choice if your survival and future is at stake? When you know inside you are honest and have integrity but the situation forces you to do that?

Good luck with the interviews! I hope all goes well

What forked for me was no matter how you feel get up dress up and show up. And don’t think too much because overthinking may lead to creating problems which are not there.

Best

Guccia

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