Was doing so well

[BlueAgave]

I have been doing well with my anxiety for almost two months. I was finally feeling back to my old self. One little thought has brought me back down. I have been trying to get myself to visit my parents, who live 7 hours away for over a year now. Every time I get ready to go, I have severe panic and can't do it. I've backed out so many times that I don't even tell my parents I'm planning a trip so they don't get disappointed when I don't make it.

Now, there's a get-together happening on the 23rd. I've been having good feelings about going until the other night. I wasn't feeling well, and a thought came into my head, "What if I feel like this while I'm away?" Now, for the past several days, my anxiety is back full force, and I'm scared to go on this trip. I've talked to my therapist about this, and it's kind of like I've got to do it. I'm just so scared my anxiety is going to get me stuck on the way there or that I will be so anxious while I'm there, I won't be able to get back home.

I'm hoping I can do it, and once I do, I'll feel so much better. I'm just so scared and anxious!

[Stilltrying2]

I know that it is scary for you, but your therapist thinks you can do it. I agree with you. Once you do it you will feel so much better.

[BlueAgave in reply to Stilltrying2]

Thank you. That is my hope!

[EricJones]

I can relate to your situation completely. You should go despite your anxiety because they are your parents and they love you unconditionally.

[BlueAgave in reply to EricJones]

I know, and I have a lot of guilt for not going sooner. Thank you!

[EricJones in reply to BlueAgave]

its not your fault you have anxiety. I wouldn't feel guilty for not going sooner, just be grateful for when you're there with your parents.

[BlueAgave in reply to EricJones]

I will! ❤️

[Agora1]

Hi BlueAgave, I remember several times in my life being afraid to make a long trip

by car. The what if's put negative thoughts in my mind but the guilt in not going was

stronger. The times I went were wonderful. It made me feel human again after being

Agoraphobic for 5 years like a prisoner in my own home.

We have to take that step forward or Anxiety gains full control over our lives and

we no longer live but just exist.

On long drives, I made sure I stopped every so often to walk around and hydrate.

Made sure I had my meals to keep up my stamina. On my way back from one of the

trips, I stopped at an Amish Village for dinner. I almost didn't want to leave, they

were so cordial and warm.

You will get more out of your trip then you thought possible. Don't regret years

from now that you didn't go. I missed out on a lot of family events during my

5 years with agoraphobia. I'll never get those years back and everyone is gone now.

I look back at photos of those times and there's only one person missing.....ME.

Good Luck dear in the choice you make. xx

[BlueAgave in reply to Agora1]

Thank you for your words of wisdom. I'm just struggling to get up out of bed again and when the light of day hits I'm frozen. I'm shaking, terrified of what the day will bring. I can barely eat. I force myself to get up and dressed. I just don't know how I will make it. 😕

[optimismrus in reply to BlueAgave]

I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. I can relate. I have to force myself to call friends to get together. I call it "the 500 lb. phone syndrome". One thing that has helped me when I drive a long way, I get a mystery audio book on cd or tape from the library. It keeps me out of my head during the trip. I hope you are pleasantly surprised and have a great time. 😍

[BlueAgave in reply to optimismrus]

Thank you!

[tommy2toes]

Here is my two cents (for what it is worth).

Since being diagnosed about 6 months ago with “the black dog” (depression), on any number of occasions, I have been worried about leaving home and meeting other folks.

Some of that is anxiety, and some is probably because I bit off more than I could chew early on, and had a few incidents (feelings of being far from home and overwhelmed by the speed of the world around me).

That being said, of late on occasion, my mind has tried to psych me out sometimes, giving me any number of reasons not to bite the bullet and instead decline opportunities to socialize. By and large, I have then given my subconscious a stern talking to (in the third person), and have actually gone out.

Afterwards, of course there is the fatigue, but generally, by trying to set my own boundaries, upon reflection I have benefitted from getting out of the four walls of my home, at least for a little.

Best of luck

t2t (tommy2toes)

[BlueAgave in reply to tommy2toes]

Thank you! I'm trying, but as you know it's a challenge. I do get out of the house for little bits of time, it's the distance that has me all messed up.