I need help...

[Csofia_412]

Im 15, and Im depressed, & I have horrible anxiety especially social anxiety. It all started when i was bullied throughout middle school it doesnt happen anymore. Im in 10th now but since 6th grade ive been cutting myself idk what to do! I hate this anxiety. None of my family knows and I cant tell my mom cuz I know she wont understand! In 6th grade she saw my wrists and asked me what happened but I blamed it on the dog. She said if she ever finds out i cut she would "beat the sh*t out of me" I hate her, I cant trust her. I dont want to be here I hate talking about my problems cuz I get scared idk why and I dont want pity. Ive never talked to anyone except my friends but they dont know I still have problems, idk what to do..

[Blush311]

Hey there, trust me I understand, first off stop cutting urself, are u really trying to harm urself??, a lot of ppl don't understand this thing called anxiety and it could be one main trigger thing that happen in ur life that can really push u over the edge, for me it was the pasting of my mom. I've been 15 before, not to long ago and I can understand the pressure u teenagers are facing now a days, I have teenage son, but try to find that one person that u can rely on, that u can talk to . Cause harming urself is not the answer. If u need to talk at any chance about anything and can't find someone to listen and understand, I'm here, cause I've through it all.. I will listen!

[BonnieSue]

Hi,

I'm here for you. Tell me what you need and I'll try to get it for you. Here are 2 phone numbers to call before you start cutting on yourself or hurting yourself in any way, just pick one: 1.800.273.8255 and 1.800.784.2433. There is a counselor you can talk to at each one. They can understand you better than most people.

You said you don't know what to do? Ask the person at one of those numbers what to do. They know a LOT about that.

I think you have got to find someone you can trust and ask for help. You need to find an adult to take a chance with and who'll help you get to a counselor that you can trust, someone you can talk to and who you can tell how you feel about things in your life. You need a doctor for a drug to help take away the horrible anxiety also. You need relief from that anxiety. I take a drug for my anxiety and what a relief that is!! No more misery from anxiety!! It's great!

I don't blame you from hating your mom, but I think you just hate what she said about beating the sh*t out of you. You still love some parts of her, but you don't love what she said to you and you wish you could trust her and tell her what you need from her. I'm sorry that she's not more helpful because I know you really need her now.

OK, write if there's anything more I can help you with. I know how bad anxiety can tear you up. Hang in there, you can have control over it. You need a doctor to help you with that but you can also talk to me about things you can do too.

[doodle_bug]

I relate with everything you said. I could never to go to my parents either and when my dad said he was going to beat the shit out of me, he followed through with a horse whip while my mother stood by laughing because I couldn't stand still. I never cut myself, the last thing I wanted was more pain, but I developed other issues to deal with it. It wasn't until years later that it hit me, physical pain is much easier to cope with than mental pain. For those that intentionally hurt themselves it's a quick fix so to speak for stopping our brain from thinking about whatever memory or event, or trauma, it is at the time that is racing through our mind nonstop.

I agree with the others, you need to talk with an adult you can trust so they can help you get the help you need, and you need to do so as soon as you possibly can. If you aren't comfortable with calling one of the phone numbers others have given perhaps you can talk with one of your friends mom or dad that you are especially close with? A school counselor or teacher? If you go to church, the minister, priest, etc? If none of those are options call your local mental health center or local crisis number.

You've gotten over the first hurdle, you've acknowledged you have problems bigger than you can handle and that they are at a point where you know you need help. Trust is a huge issue for me, so the next step was even harder, actually reaching out to someone for help and following through with it.

You can do this.

[Hidden]

I had been bullied all through junior high and high school so I understand your struggle with anxiety and depression. I was so anxious talking in front of certain people, that I developed selective mutism which set me back even further. I would make sure to get the thearapy you need. There are school psychologists and social workers who may be able to help. Bonnie Sue also provided phone numbers that might prove to be very useful. Either way, make sure you get the help you need and deserve. Best of luck in your recovery.

[Blush311]

Ur not alone, that's why its a good thing we have a page like this we can express on how we feel and what we thinking