I just need help..

Idk what to do, ive been feeling like this since senior high school but this is the worst. I cant stay still for more than 5 minutes without wanting to delete myself.

Too many triggers around me and i feel stressed out everytime im not talking and even when im talking i can be like.. suddenly quiet and feel worthless. I havent seen any doc because im afraid that would just justifies me for hurting my self more.

Too many triggers. Loss, break up, failure. I am a failure. A big one.

All i want to do now is just destroy myself by doing bad things. Cig, alcohol, selfharm.. idk what else i can do if i continue on living like this

[tamka38]

If you think u not going to be safe u can always text Criss help line 741-741 am having triggers too and am here for u

I do deep breathing exercise and meditation and now am on medication and waiting to see a therapist

[Hidden in reply to tamka38]

Criss help line? But im in indonesia can i sti call that line..?

By the way thank you very mucj for responding it really mean a lot for me.

Do meditation help..? Maybe i can try..

[tamka38 in reply to Hidden]

Yes I really like meditation, but it can be hard if u can’t relax and can’t sit still but the deep breathing exercise will relax u

[Hidden in reply to tamka38]

Hm maybe ill try, thank you..

[tamka38 in reply to Hidden]

U welcome

[fallenwing]

You aren't a failure, that's just the depression talking to you. It's important to get help when you feel this way.

[Hidden in reply to fallenwing]

I'd really like to think that way.. but this year ive been through too many events to prove that way.. ive been failing a lot of things and ive been trying to feel otherwise and see things positively but thats just hard

[melantha in reply to Hidden]

It is hard, you’re right. Unfortunately we can’t just will ourselves to “think more positively.” It isn’t that simple. Our brains have learned these thought patterns and it’s going to take time to break out of them. I’m on that journey right now too. I finally started seeing a therapist and got on medication as well. I put it off for far too long because I was scared too. I am glad I did though.

Also welcome to the community. If there’s one thing I’ve learned on here it’s that we are definitely not alone in this.

[Hidden in reply to melantha]

Thank you so much!!

[Hidden]

Know first that you are priceless and the world can not afford to lose you..we all love you..breathe and and step away from the negative thoughts..call suicide hot line..develop a plan to live daily

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much ^^