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[Jennan221]

The other day I had an anxiety attack and everything came crashing down. My boyfriend had to take my keys away because I would've drove and crashed my car to kill myself. I'm on medication and I've seen a therapist but nothing gets rid of these thoughts. What do I do?

[BonnieSue]

How long have you been on medication and have you been seeing a therapist? Do you hear voices that tell you to crash your car or kill yourself?

[Jennan221 in reply to BonnieSue]

I've been on meds for a little over a year and seen the therapist for about 5 years but I hate going. And I don't hear voices I just think these things. It just sounds like my normal thinking

[BonnieSue in reply to Jennan221]

So you thought it was a good idea to crash the car and die? Did you think about living through the crash but having a gruesome gash across your face and arms and chest? About being burned all over yourself and having your burns debrided every day in the hospital for months after the crash? This is extremely painful, more than anything you've felt so far. Car crashes end up this way, you don't have any guarantee that you'll die nice and fast. Have you thought about that?

[Jennan221 in reply to BonnieSue]

Yes and I will hit head on. I will die, that's my plan

[BonnieSue in reply to Jennan221]

Do you really think if you hit head on that you won't survive maybe as a quadriplegic trapped in your body, barely able to move but you can hear and think all day long,...waiting for something interesting to hear and thinking about how lonely and depressed you are? Laying in your hospital bed...then someone comes in to change your diaper and you can't even say a word...just get moved around on the bed...just thinking what you want to say...that you're thirsty...but you can't say it because you can't speak...and then the nurse assistant goes away again and there you are alone with your depression and you can't do a thing about it. Great life you barely have but you lived...lots of people barely lived but they did live...not really a life..yeah good plan...maybe take some good person's life with you by hitting them..think about that all day long...

[BonnieSue in reply to BonnieSue]

...when you could choose to get treated and live happy and free to do whatever you want with your favorite people. No more depression or anxiety just living a good life and loving what you do each day. This could be your life if you go to a doctor and get medicine that takes away your pain and depression. I would be you if I didn't take my pills and I'm happy with my life. NO DEPRESSION in my life any more!!! NO NASTY MISERY!! YAY!! you can have this too!! DON'T GIVE UP!! C'MON AND LIVE HAPPY!!

[Blush311]

Wow, I know the feeling, it's normal thinking for me sometimes to do harmful things, like drink some cleaning product or something else harmful.but i dont want to hurt nobody else.i know right from wrong , that's the crazy part that I don't understand, I refuse to take the medication they have giving me. This anxiety thing is crazy