Close to giving up

[stevegroundhog]

I just turned 36, no one cared. Was taught my whole life if you’re a good person, kind to people, work hard, don’t complain, love others, serve your country, go to school, and you’ll be successful. Bullied throughout life running from those yelling at me that I’d be a failure. In the end they were right.

Fast forward to today, lost 40k to 8 court filings fighting off my wife’s narracistic ex husband and won every time, but I’m not getting a cent back. Paying what I can to get my stepson who completely forgot I exist through college, and wounded in pain daily from serving my country. It affects my life and my job. I’ve never gave up, every failure I took as a lesson, moved on, and tried something else.

But when you continually fail, that’s when everything just piles on. I’m worth more to my wife dead than alive with almost 500k in life Insurance. Really considering suicide as I’ve tried so hard to be that successful person and failed miserably. I’m tired and in so much pain some days to get out of bed. No one cares I’m alive and they’ll be so much better off if I’m gone. I’m tired, hurting, frustrated, so close to giving up.

[Naturelover3]

I know giving up may seem like a good way out, but it isnt. It might seem that no one is there for you or no ones loves you, but depression robs you of being able to see those people or to feel that love. There are people out there that love and care about you. I don't know the situation with your family, but is spending all that money really worth it? I would really recommend going and talking to a therapist so they can help through sometimes and maybe give you advice on what your next step should be. Things can and they will get better, just don't give up.

[Hidden]

Don't give up. There will be better times.

[Imthedoctor]

Really sorry to hear of your pain

I totally understand what it feels like to feel so undervalued....when you spend an entire lifetime helping and caring for your soul mate only to find that when you need help they turn away. It's heartbreaking but you are so strong with such resolve...you are not a failure.....the people around you have failed you. Is there anyone you can turn to for support? If you're wife is being so uncaring why don't you leave her....it's an awful situation to be in, especially since you care for everyone so much.

Hope you can find some relief in this mad world.

[Chae57]

I've also just turned 36 few days ago i've been married for 10 years with 3 beautiful kids. Im so miserable in my marriage with a failure of a husband who does'nt really appreciate me. I've been hurt alot im questioning my Christianity ect ... I feel so lost that suicide has crossed my mind but it got me thinking is that the legacy i wana leave behind for my kids? That when all else fails kill urself...NO! I've come to realise giving up is a way of choosing to fail instead choose to become victorious.. yes life does not make sense but we are all here. Lets try to beat this thing and together we can. Just focus on what makes you happy get something positive that will fill the void thats been making us feel depressed. Lets work hard to get rid of that voice thats planting all these negative words in our heads. Lets speak life over ourselves. We can beat this!!

[Bray1567]

Please don’t give up, sometimes the people who are closes to us hurt us sometimes unintentionally or intentionally no offense but I think you should consider getting family counseling. It can help heal those hurting wounds you may all be feeling and better your families relationship.

[pump321]

You are a good person I can tell and it's such a shame you have had to battle all your life as you have. I just want to say 'hang in there' and know you are not alone! You must feel that the world is against you but there are good people in this world, we just have to find them! I have also tried to be a very good person all my life and helped others and done the right things just like you but when I have needed help nobody ever steps forward. It's really hurtful. I can feel your despair. I have also had a very a very tough life too with many things to have to cope with that most people never have to but I have always battled on. Please reach out for help, there seems to be many organisations that will support us out there. Ring the Samaritans and talk to them, it may help just to get it off your chest. Don't give up now you have done so much and are still so young with so much more life to live and things can get better. I urge you to be strong a little longer and keep going however hard it is. Many of us have had to face terrible battles of one thing or another and have lived through such trauma and are coming through. Don't give up Stevegroundhog, so many of us understand.

[bluecorgi]

Happy belated Birthday from someone who cares. You are an important person and someone who has valuable morals that are admired by many. So many of our veterans have not been getting the help they need, so please reach out to your VA and check their resources. When I get really down, I have to shut off my access to bad news on media and avoid people who bring me down.

[Msheatherlady]

I’m so sorry to hear all that your going through. It can’t be easy going through all that and it’s completely understandable why you’d be so down, but please know that giving up is not the answer. There are people out there who will love and appreciate you and I urge you to reach out and get help during your struggle right now! It will get better just take it day by day! Here’s the suicide hotline number 1-800-273-8255. You are not alone and there’s no shame in reaching out for help!

[Hidden]

Your story sounds a little familiar to me. My story with my ex was very complicated, long and financially devastating. I get those feelings of overwhelming failure. I’m here to listen

[stevegroundhog]

I appreciate the replies, thank you I really do. ❤️

[bear4ble]

Steve, suggest looking at you tube and listening to Jordan Peterson and his 12 rules for life, could be useful. Remember, in your mind you could say, mentally, to those narcissistic morons etc "go away, and when you get there, go away some more". That is the polite version. I find it is immensely helpful for me, thinking in that way.

[Sarcastic]

I suffer from Depression, CPTSD, ADD and ANXIETY. Since 2007 i have been fighting the court system for some kind of rights to my son. I pay almost $400 bi-weekly in child support and have not seen nor heard from my son in 5 years due to his mother's wishes. I can understand a little of your pain and what you going though. I have thought about suicide plenty of times. I also have a 5year old and a 1year old. I also thought about. I thought about how mich better the family would due with my insurance money. Come to find out insurance does not pay out foe suicide so the only thing that happens is my kids will suffer. What you were thaught your whole life is nothing unless your experience thaught it to you. We were all raised to our parents belief. Now that we are older we have to create our own beliefs off of our own experience. I was just distracted and lost what i was trying to say. But feel better and stay strong.

[Lynl]

No Please Don’t do anything to yourself! You did not fail anyone! They failed you! Shame on them ! Thank You for your service to our country. You are appreciated! And Happy Birthday 🎂! Seek help and stay on here. You are worth more to us alive, than any money. Never think people are better off with money , you are needed and loved. Keep in touch