Just joined tonight. Joining has helped me get out of my head--I have persistent negative/catastrophic thoughts due to being emotionally abused from my formative years onward for about 15 years, and so my neuropathways have been formed to think I'm garbage and things are my fault when they aren't. Fear rules a lot of my life.
What got me on here tonight was that my dad had toe surgery and has to lie down with his foot elevated for 5 days straight. I'm catastrophizing about what could go wrong. The doctor seems optimistic that it will work out and he will be in a walking boot come next week. But the thoughts are going around like "he's going to die, I'm going to collapse" etc. Once the thoughts start, others like to piggyback onto them ("the world is awful, I'm awful, I'll never get better") and if I'm not careful I can wind up a sobbing mess. Not that crying is a bad thing. But the anxiety makes life so hard. I don't have a job, and my parents can afford to take care of me. When they die I will get something of an inheritance, but it won't be enough to retire on. And I feel soooo far away from being able to work.
Anyway, just thought I'd come on here and share a bit. I'm really sensitive and afraid a lot of the time.