The final end of the battle. - Advanced Prostate...

Advanced Prostate Cancer

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The final end of the battle.

oilcan4 profile image

After 26 months my husband passed on March 8. He was first diagnosed in Jan. 2019 with Gleason score of 9(5+4) and PSA 15. It had already metastasized to the bone. His physical a year earlier was negative but they did not do a PSA test. He was on Lupron. They tried Zytiga and Xtandi. He had spot radiation and Taxotere. He broke a vertebra in his back and was hospitalized for 2 weeks. He started Xofigo and had 4 injections. He could not continue with the last 2 because his platelet count went to 53,000 and he was feeling very ill. They did a biopsy on a pelvic lymph node to send off in the hopes of giving him immunotherapy, but he passed before that was possible. He was short of breath with tachycardia and had to be hospitalized for the last time. Even with a blood transfusion and platelets, his blood counts barely responded. They eventually stopped taking bloodwork. At last count his platelets were 6,000. The cancer had infiltrated his bone marrow. He developed a urinary problem about a month before his passing. From the enlarged pelvic lymph nodes, he had lymphedema with severe swelling of the scrotum. His urinary issues caused him severe pain when urinating. To give him a cath. they had to knock him out with sedation. When coming out of sedation, he was in extreme pain and combative so the sedation had to be continued in Hospice Care; and he never again came out of it before he passed. It was a rollercoaster journey for sure. I have my Faith to give me strength, and I know he is in a better place and no longer suffering. It is the most horrible disease. They presumed my husbands cancer stemmed from his exposure to agent orange in VietNam.

93 Replies

Oh noooo 😭Another Brother taken

My sincerest condolences for you and the family

Thank you Sir for your Service.

Rest in Peace and suffer no more

Big Hug from Ca


I’m so sorry to read this post. Sad for you and your husband. 26 months is such a short time, with what sounds like many treatments. My husband went through Xofigo Oct 2019-March 2020, thankfully made it through all 6 treatments, but since has been battling low blood counts. I hate reading about other’s struggles, breaks my heart... and scares me for my husbands future. we all face so many challenges with this disease. Will be praying for you! ❤️

Hidden profile image

If he was under under VA care please make sure you file for survivor benefits. If you have any questions please message me. I'm also fighting Agent Orange caused cancers.

fmenninger profile image
fmenninger in reply to Hidden

That’s correct as unfortunately my uncle passed away many years ago as he served in Nam snd got exposed to AO and died of GIST which a cancer linked to Dow’s AO.

:,o( & :,o(

Why does the suffering have to be so intense? It shouldn’t have to be that way. Bless him G_d and remember what a difficult journey he had

Darryl profile image


Thanks for taking the time to make such an informative, detailed post so those of us with similar conditions may benefit. I wish you strength in healing. Psalm 23.— Tim

I'm sorry to hear your husband has passed away. Sounds like he tried everything he could and was a fighter. He is surely watching over you now and would want you and your family to stay strong and remember the good times you shared in life together. God bless you🙏

So sorry to hear of another fallen warrior. My condolences to you for the loss of your husband.


So sorry to hear of your husband’s passing. That horrible war has caused untold suffering. May he finally rest in peace.

Thank you for sharing and my condolences to you and your family.

I was diagnosed Nov 2018, cancer got into the marrow in both femurs and I've struggled with low blood counts. I think it's been the fact I'm younger and a little luck that I've overcome these problems, we all have a difficult journey ahead of us.

I hope you can take some comfort in knowing he isn't suffering anymore, and don't forget to take care of yourself with the support of friends and family.

I’m so sorry for your immeasurable loss and for yours and your husband’s suffering. May you find peace and comfort in the days ahead. My deepest sympathies 🙏🏻

Very sorry to hear. Thank you for sharing the details about this terrible disease.

Sincere condolences to you and your family.

So sorry for your loss of your beloved husband. I know that no words can help with your pain.

I'm so sorry. What a lot you've both been through! I know how hard it is to go from the mode of "what do I do next?" to the mode of "what do I do now that it's over?" I hope you will find comfort thinking about how things used to be before all this.

My sincere condolences to you for the loss of your husband. May he rest in eternal peace.

Big, big hugs...

I'm sorry for your loss and want to express condolences to you and your family for your loss. It touches us all who share this path to learn about the passing of another. I hope the knowledge that there is no more suffering may assuage your pain and allow some comfort.

Best Regards

Such sad news, my sincere condolences.

Thank you for posting. So sorry for your loss.

He was a lucky man to have someone at his side through all of this. My sincerest condolences

My condolences.

You have my deepest condolences!!! I’m so so sorry. This is such a horrible disease. It scares me what’s in store for my husbands future. We are struggling with treatments. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Everytime it hurts when one of us can no longer continue this journey My prayers are with you and his family

So sorry for your loss my Steve passed 2 years ago in Jan I miss him everyday xx😥

We all stand together with you during this difficult time.

Yes we do if faith gets u through then fine if another way works also fine x

Terrible to hear how he must have suffered, my condolences.

So sorry. May he rest in peace.

I am so sorry. 🙏🙏🙏

Big Big 🤗!

I had a friend here who only lasted 3 years after age 58 and nothing worked for very long.I had Gleason 9 in 2009 at age 62, and bone mets did show up in PsMa scan until 2017. I've had ADT, EBRT, salvation IMRT, Cosadex, Zytiga, 5 shots Chemo, 6 doses Lu177, Xtandi, and now I am having Ra223. Psa is now 300, but I have no Pca symptoms, and my blood tests look OK so afaik, my bone marrow is not all destroyed by Pca, and it is hoped that Ra223 may kill most bone mets, and give me more time alive. But Ra223 also destroys bone marrow, but if I get to have 6 doses of Ra223 I may still have enough healthy bone marrow to allow me to live OK, and maybe have some other following treatment.

Psa was rising 2.7 times in 1 month, but rate of Psa increase per month is now 1.5, and its now too early to say how things might work out because Psa rise with Ra223 does not give full indication if I am winning a battle.

But when my time to quit comes with pain and broken bones and inability to withstand more treatment, I'll be happy to quit, and get pain relief with drugs and say farewell to the world I have loved for so long. Death will be a release, and I don't have a wife, or a family of my own, so I won't upset too many ppl I have been lucky enough know.

I had a very good 42km cycle ride free today at good speed, not any problem. I don't know how much longer I can remain symptom free.

I hope you cope OK and wish the best for you,

Patrick Turner.

You must be exhausted and numb. I hope you have someone by your side to help you through this time. This end of life experience is terrifying and surreal. May I ask where your husband was treated? Did he have a medical oncologist? How is it possible that they had no way to treat the scrotum swelling and pain in his final weeks and days? I am very shocked. I do not want my husband to have this experience when his time comes.

So sorry to hear . My condolences to you.

I am so sorry. May he Rest In Peace.

My condolences to your family. May rest in peace.George

HelloI recently lost my husband of 30 years to prostate cancer, just early March. He was an amazing husband and friend. It helps to know that he’s no longer suffering and know he wants me to be happy and continue on. God bless you. I’m praying for everyone.

NWLiving profile image
NWLiving in reply to Robrobaroo


j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n in reply to Robrobaroo

May Robro, rest in peace, and may his new wings fit. He will be thinking of all ot those he left behind and will be sending them his love. God Bless..

j-o-h-n Saturday 03/27/2021 6:07 PM DST

Robrobaroo profile image
Robrobaroo in reply to j-o-h-n

Thank you j-o-h-n.Oilcan4,. I know what you are going through. God Bless you. I’m praying for you and your husband.

Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700 in reply to Robrobaroo

Thank you 🙏

God bless you oilcan4, and thank you for your post. I'll pray that medical research can someday prevent such agony as you two endured.

This has been a terrible time for you and your late husband. God Bless you for giving him your love and support throughout his journey.

I am very sorry. May your husband rest in peace. Sending you love and strength 🙏

You and your family are in my Thoughts and Prayers!!! So very Sorry for your loss!!!🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

I’m so sorry to read your post. It sounds like you both fought the good fight. May your memories be a blessing to you, and your faith carry you through the toughest times.

My wife and I offer our sincere condolences in the loss of your husband. Thank you for his service and thankful that he had your love, support, and faith during his battle. Praying for God’s peace, and comfort in this difficult time. While we didn’t know you and your husband personally, we do in our common battle and humanity

Please accept my deepest condolences.

Your journey is very similar to the many areas of treatment my own husband experienced.He also served in the Viet Nam era.

Our lives are forever changed.

Losing your husband is a loss you never recover from.

But with each passing day it can get a little easier-and you cherish each and every day and memory you had a little more-

May Gods peace be with you and comfort you.

My sincere condolences - the suffering is the hardest part and most unfortunate - may he rest in peace ...

I pray that god gives you the strength at such a difficult time .

My condolences and peace to you and the family.

So sad to hear of your husband's demise. He will rest in peace with no more pains. My sincere condolences 🙏.

My deepest condolences to you — surely his best, most ardent, and most loving supporter and advocate — and to all of your loved ones who are affected by this horrific tragedy. May your husband walk with joy and without pain forever in the gleaming stardust from which we all born. May he Rest in Peace.

So sad, prayers to you and your family.

Just so very sorry...prayers for Peace now...

We send you Blessings. Oh my Lord, so fast. His spirit will always be with you. Find comfort when his laughter or love come to you. This is no way to go. We must find other more gentle ways of passing. He is without pain. So very sorry for your loss❤️

My condolences to you. May he Rest In Peace. So sad.

Very sorry for your loss. Please accept my sincerest condolences to you and your family🙏🏻 God Bless you🙏🏻

These many heartfelt replies are one of the reason I love this forum. People taking the time to share their information and thoughts for others. God bless you. You have my sincere condolences.

hi oilcan4 ... big hugs for you ... i will pray and offer a Mass for you. :)


So sorry to hear of your husband's passing. It was a very hard battle he had to deal with and very hard on you as well. We are all thankful for his services and I'm sure he will be missed by many. Us men with this disease must be diligent and I know that without my wife and family this would be a harder road to travel.God Bless


My condolences.

Very sorry for your loss. I’ll pray for you and your husband. May your faith sustain you.

I'm so sorry 😢😢😢

Sorry. There isn't a lot that can be said that hasn't already been.

Such a horrible horrible disease. Thank you for your real description of what happened. It helps to know.

My prayer is that your dreams are full of the happy times you had with your husband. Blessings to you.

I’m so sorry to hear this. I’m praying for you and family! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Words are not enough to express my deepest condolences , God bless you.

I’m so sorry for your loss. May your faith sustain you and you find peace in memories of happier times.

My heartfelt sympathy and condolences to you on your loss and suffering. His painful journey is over and may he rest in peace. My husband , Netcoach, known to some of you on this forum , recently passed on February 27th from a very very similar battle with advanced prostate cancer, It was a long difficult battle and a painful end. He is free from pain now. Pam

j-o-h-n profile image
j-o-h-n in reply to dpowellnt

Dear Ms. Netcoach, May your dear husband rest in heaven now that he is pain free and his anxiety is gone. He will remain in your heart forever. God Bless you, your family and friends.

j-o-h-n Saturday 03/27/2021 5:54 PM DST

Lulu700 profile image
Lulu700 in reply to dpowellnt



It is with empathy born from a sorrow in my own past that I read your post. Thank you for informing us.

We never get over "it". We learn to live with a significant loss and it takes time but becomes a part of us. The only consolations are that we shared this life with the loved one and look to a new life again with them.

Family, friends, neighbors and clergy can be helpful but when you need your "own time", take it.


Please accept my sincere and heartfelt condolences for your loss. It sounds as though you and your dear husband have been through so much in the last 2 years! He suffers no more. Rest in Peace.

May the Faith you uphold continue to give you strength and peace 💙 Sending you an abundance of hugs

I am so very sorry for your loss and the pain and procedures that your husband endured. May he rest in peace.

So very sorry - such a short time! God Bless you

So sorry for your loss. My sincere condolences.

So sorry. Time to push bad memories away and remember all the good times. I hope you make many more good memories.

To the oilcan4 family.

Your husband fought a gallant fight against a terrible disease. May he finally rest in peace and be happy in eternity. God Bless him and God Bless the entire oilcan4 family.

j-o-h-n Saturday 03/27/2021 5:58 PM DST

So sad for your loss. Sending prayers to you and your family. The pain is over.

May God grant your husband perfect rest. Amen

So sorry. Peace be with you and those that loved him.

I’m sorry for your loss and I wish you peace during this difficult time.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you find some peace and condor in the coming days.

Sincere condolences

With sincere sympathy on the loss of your dear husband.

Bless you for sharing details of oilcan's journey. It was so very important for you to let us follow his treatments. You have educated us all, so I applaud you. I know how heart-rendering it was for you to write oilcan's obituary. A toast to oilcan...and a giant salute to you.

My spiritual mentor, Richard Rohr, would say that we come to God through Great Love and Great Suffering. Your love and the prostate cancer became your husband’s path. Blessings and peace.

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