Hello, still very new to this but getting very desperate and suicidal is not an overstatement. I though I would give you my health history in order to help if anyone can. Here goes......
I've been anorexic for nearly 10 years, I have had numerous hospital and in-patient unit admissions during that time. My first hospital admission was when I was 4.5 stones and very poorly, I had taken paracetamol to help with a throat infection I had at the time, as I was such low weight, I collapsed and ended up in hospital. Even though I had only taken 4 paracetamol, spaced apart, I was admitted to the liver ward. This was about 6 years ago and my Liver Function Tests have never been the same, but my gp doesn't know why.
I wont alarm you with the other details because it is scary for me to write about, but I have been various weights and health's and have also gone through period of self harm.
About 18 months ago, I went to my Dietician as I was feeling very poorly again and she suggested getting my thyroid checked. I wen to my GP and it was on the lowest side of normal. (range 12- 22 mine was 12 then), and didn't feel it needed addressing, since then I have only got worse. I had my wisdom teeth out about 16 months ago and they were concern by my weight for the operation, so ordered a full set of bloods. As the nurse gave me my pre-op tests she noticed that my neck/throat was very swollen and ordered immediately another thyroid test, (I wouldn't have been allowed anaesthetic if my thyroid wasn't stable), and again it was low, but in range. I had my operation.
After that, in the space over 2 months I suddenly put on a lot of weight, very quickly, nearly two stone, which is horrid for anyone, but an anorexic is it hell on earth, I was back self-harming and very, very concerned about it. My GP did nothing, he was only pleased I was a 'healthy' weight! I ended up doing my own research, along with my dietician and looked into going to see somebody about my thyroid privately.
He did a variety of test and eventually put me on 25mg of Levo for 2 weeks and then 50mg, I was to have my bloods done each month at first. I had already been diagnosed with Coeliac disease by then as well. (which was no help, as I did then and do now, only eat vegetables!) I had my bloods done after a month and the private doctor rang me and got me to see him straight away, he had said I needed to reduce my Levo, as my levels had gone down, and I was on hyper, to say I was devastated is an understatement. I hadn't lost any weight, but I had stopped putting it on at least.
This was last November, and from December to February, on the lower dose, I put on another stone, my mother has now removed the paracetamol from our house.
I went back to see my normal GP and he put my Levo back up and further to 75mg a day, again this has made no difference, I actually feel worse, so in May I decided to try adding some T3, which I am now on half a 25mg tablet a day and still with my Levo. Again, this has made no difference, I don't feel any difference, so I looked into having my vitamins tested B12 especially as I don't eat any protein, or anything other than vegetables. I also had my ferritin, folate tested as well.
folate - 20 ug/L - (3.8 -16.0)
ferritin - 64 ug/L - (15 - 150.0)
vitamin B12 - 843 ng/L (197 - 771.0)
Taken last Monday, I don't understand it, I've hardly ever eaten meat as a child, and not at all in ten years, I've never had any injections or tablets, why would it be so high?
So, basically, I am desperately unhappy, I am self-harming again, and most days I don't get out of bed. I had a range of symptoms but the fatigue and weight gain are the worse. I have a lot of fluid on my body, all over but mainly on my stomach, chest and neck. I have had a thyroid ultrasound, and that was fine, I have also recently had an ultrasound on my liver which was fine as well. Also a period came back last month after ten years, to say this was traumatic, is again, an understatement (it was one of the main reasons I ended up being anorexic in the first place as they were so heavy and painful, would put my out for a week before, during and a week after, horrendous) and since then I am exceptionally hot all the time, like a am on fire and I cant remember the last time I was cool, let alone cold, which means I am hyper, doesn't it? but then why wont the weight go down?
I am so very sorry, this will probably be very long, and boring story for you all but you are my very last hope. I don't know where to go or what to do, should I find a private GP to tackle all the problems, or another private endo? Should I try NDT or thyroid S, should I do more Levo, or T3, or stop them all together. I just desperately want to lose weight (I am still an anorexic after all), and I currently eat less than 900 cals a day, but I am very hungry and have very bad cravings. I fall asleep as soon as I sit down, sometimes at the laptop! I can't always sleep at night, but always feel very stiff and achy in the morning and it takes me ages to get up. I have very itchy eyes and skin as well as cramps in my legs and feet. My legs are very swollen and my ankles are extremely painful.
My most recent test results show very little change from last month,
Serum TSH - 0.05 miu/L (0.3 -5.5)
Serum free T4 level - 15 pmol/L (12 -22)
serum free triiodothyronine - 5.8 pmol/L (3.1 - 7)
I just don't know what to do next, I am mentally exhausted, its bad enough having an eating disorder without adding unknown weight gain and leaving like death into it! And my doctors say is you are a 'healthy' weight, (even though I am now at the very top end of normal BMI !!!), and some have even said to lose weight go on a diet!!!! No, really.
Thank you greatly to anyone who has taken the time to read this, you may well save someone's life today.
As an edit due to the lovely replies I have had, much appreciated, you all are truly wonderful people .
Since my hospital admission 10 years ago, I am under the care of my local Eating Disorder Service, I have a nurse therapist, whom I see every week and a psychologist that I have also seen. I see my own private Dietician. I obviously have a bad relationship with my body and my food, I always have, but to go from 6.5 stone to 9.5 stone is extremely worrying, and I would be even if I didn't have anorexia. My height is only 5 ft 2 in, so I am now on the border of overweight BMI, which is devastating, as I have said. My have had some other test results back also -
platelet count - 117 /L (150 -450)
lymphocyte count - 1.04 /L (1.5 - 3.5)
serum potassium level - 3.9 mmo/L (3.9 - 5.3)
serum sodium level - 140 mmo/L (133 - 146)
Thanks again for all your lovely comments, and taking the time to post them.