VERY NEARLY

VERY NEARLY

Well, what a completely 'yuk' day. Sooooooo tired, and my mind is on overtime. Just finished 72 hours as a call out warden for the elderly. Following, that have just done some training in an area I don't know and the work load is now twice as much and twice as far, and we still have to get there inside 20 mins. I've written my notice out. I wanted a ciggy so much, the guy who was showing me the new area smoked, and we had to go in his car. I don't think I've eaten so much nicotine in its various forms since I stopped over 2 months ago. when I finally got near home I did a very slow drive by the newsagents, and all I wanted was to buy just 10 fags. I managed to get home without stopping, and tried to do the breathing exercises but found it quite dangerous, as I tend to close my eyes when concentrating on the exercise - this is not good when driving, so gave up on that one til I got home. I am just so fed up and I know fags won't help - but my head kept telling me they would calm me down. By the skin of my teeth I made it back without giving in, but its been my hardest moment so far. Had about 6 hours sleep in 48 hours so my head is not in a good place. Must have nodded off in the chair and woke up after dropping my full cup of coffee over me. On a lighter note, I have a day off tomorrow and hopefully will catch up on my sleep. Sorry to moan so much, but I needed to get it off my chest, and my hands are well occupied typing this. I am still gonna jack in my job, and pray I can find another sharpish. Hope its sunny again and after a good sleep things will seem different - I hope. Have now got through day 61 Yehhhh!! xx

PS Hope the pic doesn't offend - couldn't scrub the words out - but it says something about my day!!!

14 Replies

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  • Aww hun, well done you for not going to the shop, that must have taken a lot of willpower under the circumstances. I thought people weren't supposed to smoke in a works vehicle. Well, I take it it was actually his own car but even so in the course of your job and when with another employee on works business I don't think he should have been smoking.

    I'm sure once you've slept on it and in the cold light of day you might think again about quitting your job. I know exactly how you feel to be angry with your job and your employer but to be honest there are very few decent jobs and employers around these days and you might end up out of the frying pan and all that, but tomorrows another day so see how you feel.

    Haha we've all done that before now, fell asleep with a drink in our hand, still look on the bright side it could have been a ciggie you fell asleep with and that would have been a whole lot worse story.

    No the picture doesn't offend, poor old bird, what does the small writing underneath say?

    You have a good sleep and I hope you feel better tomorrow, but if not come back and have another moan, nobody minds and if it helps.........

  • Thanx so much for ur comment - one bit in it struck home . . . . could've been a ciggy I had in my hand when I fell asleep. It would only have woken me when I was on fire I guess - at least the coffee woke me instantly!! I have now slept heavily and am still going into the office - glad I didn't fag it yesterday!! The guy I went out with is a lovely man - but he just can't stop smoking. I couldn't say no to him smoking in his own car, and there just isn't time to have a proper break as there are time constraints to get from A to B. I've sat here and thought about had I bought those fags - I would've said what the Penquin in the pic said F***k It!! would've been back to square one. Thanx for your response - it has really helped me xx

  • Hi Veecatz

    Congratulations on day 62 and getting through yesterday without giving in. Real and tremendoius admiration. Have lots of r snd r today, enjoy your rest and a bit of peace.

    Love the pic :) sums up one of those days, poor bird.

    X

  • yea well done on not given in there,you can do it :)

  • Aup Ken, :) :)

    How you doin pal !! or is it peeeeeeeeps :D :D

  • Vera, I bow down to you gal, I really, really doooooo :) :) just ace gal, flippin ACE :) :)

    Your pic dosnt offend me in the slightest, cos I tell ya have bin there :(

    Your Job, just have a think about it eh :) before you do anything.

    A few weeks ago, I had a big big do with my boss, lost it and told him to stuff his job where the sun dont shine !!

    But not like you, I lost it completely and erm, well, I called at the shop :( :(

    I wrote my letter of resignation out that night, and handed it to him the next day, he ripped it up and asked me to get on with work :o So I did.

    At our age gal, like Sinfree has said, there isnt many good jobs about, so you just think about it please, cos I was lucky, erm, erm, I think :o

    Stick with it V, cos your headin towards being an X smoker :) :) speak soon.

    Pete :)

  • There aren't many good jobs around at any age in the current climate Pete, my 25 year old son is having a bad time with his job and my 37 year old sis has had some pretty crap employers in the last 10 years or so too, most employers want people to do more and more for less and less money and its accountants who are behind it all.

  • Ps How do you make the soulful looking face - just love it!! ;)

  • Hi Pete,

    Thanks for the encouragement - still haven't caught up with my kip - and back to work tomoz. I did hand my notice in at work - I really don't want to do the mileage and all the stuff that will go with it - 3am call outs and then working all day and again on call at night. Some of the areas we have to go to should have a police escort - druggies and alkys being one of the main reasons. I did hand my notice in and it was accepted - however because I am useful to them I will be doing casual work on the call centre. Meanwhile - despite my age - and I did tell them when making the job enquiry, I have an interview on the 17th June. ;) Sounds positive - I used to be a Registered Nurse - and this is a support worker for brain injured clients. It is actually more money :) so I won't have to do as many hours. I really want a more relaxed time now - not running around like a blue a***sed fly!! ;) Just love these little faces you showed me! Will keep everyone posted on the outcome xx

  • Hi Veecatz,

    I hope you are feeling better after your day off. Very well done for having resisted the urge to smoke again. I'm back to work myself today after just over 2 weeks annual leave and as I type going through the process of persuading myself to just that as I am struggling with my job at the moment for similar reason's as yourself. However everything that has been said by Sin, Ken, Betts and Monky is resonating in my head, along with the strength you are showing, particularly as it is usually harder when dealing in the kind of work that you do.

    I have a caseload of people waiting for me to return as I very much doubt that any received attention while I have been away. I'll be thinking of you and the rest of us I get myself going again, and as for the picture, well if you don't mind I'm adopting it and the words as a means of fighting the gremlins if they rear their ugly heads!!!!!

    Sally.x

  • Thanks for those words - hope everything is better than anticipated - but from what you say and from my experience - it is doubtful!! I spent most of the day falling in and out of sleep, tho I did manage to mow and plant some plants that had been waiting for nearly 2 weeks to go in the ground. We will see if they survive!! I will be thinking of you today and hope it isn't too bad. Vee xx

  • Hi Vee, glad you managed to grab all that s**t by the balls and tell them what to do with it! :)

    You'll go the distance with this quit and like before, just come on here and have a blast about it if you need to.

    Re the smlieys, if you go into tags and search for smileys, you'll find all the instructions. Have fun and good luck with your interview. :) ;-)

  • Hey Vee, looks like things are on the up for you all round. The main thing is to try and stay positive, especially when you least feel like it :o

    When you have a really positive smokefree day, its worth firmly banking it in your memory so that when things don't feel that good, you can call on that memory and know that it won't be long for that good feeling to return :D

    You're doing well, fingers crossed for you on the 17th too :-)

  • Hi V, :)

    You stick with it gal, and i tell ya I will keep my fingers, legs and everything else crossed :o for you on the 17th :) :) :)

    As for the smilie faces, if you just hover your mouse pointer over them, you will see how they are made :) = : and ) when put together, :)

    Take care now V, you keep focused and positive on your quit eh :) :)

    Speak soon, Pete :)

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