Well, what a completely 'yuk' day. Sooooooo tired, and my mind is on overtime. Just finished 72 hours as a call out warden for the elderly. Following, that have just done some training in an area I don't know and the work load is now twice as much and twice as far, and we still have to get there inside 20 mins. I've written my notice out. I wanted a ciggy so much, the guy who was showing me the new area smoked, and we had to go in his car. I don't think I've eaten so much nicotine in its various forms since I stopped over 2 months ago. when I finally got near home I did a very slow drive by the newsagents, and all I wanted was to buy just 10 fags. I managed to get home without stopping, and tried to do the breathing exercises but found it quite dangerous, as I tend to close my eyes when concentrating on the exercise - this is not good when driving, so gave up on that one til I got home. I am just so fed up and I know fags won't help - but my head kept telling me they would calm me down. By the skin of my teeth I made it back without giving in, but its been my hardest moment so far. Had about 6 hours sleep in 48 hours so my head is not in a good place. Must have nodded off in the chair and woke up after dropping my full cup of coffee over me. On a lighter note, I have a day off tomorrow and hopefully will catch up on my sleep. Sorry to moan so much, but I needed to get it off my chest, and my hands are well occupied typing this. I am still gonna jack in my job, and pray I can find another sharpish. Hope its sunny again and after a good sleep things will seem different - I hope. Have now got through day 61 Yehhhh!! xx
PS Hope the pic doesn't offend - couldn't scrub the words out - but it says something about my day!!!