I probably know the answer to this dilemma already but could never discuss this with other people except people who would understand.....
Interlinked health, death and money are too personal/vulgar subjects to air properly even with my closest because they just say "do what makes you happy ".
I have been rocked to the core with the losses of our dear friends on this site and those on the Facebook forum and am frightened of missing out on experiences for the sake of being too sensible. However, my savings are now my inheritance from my hardworking parents and are supposed to give me financial security into old age (however unlikely that is now).
My personal circumstances are that I am retired (early because of ill health) with a small personal pension and a partner who is a general builder but who is working part-time in order for us to spend more time together.
I have had to come off Avastin due to side effects and the fact I keep getting pneumonia. My ca125 is slowly rising and my cancer nodules showed slight growth on the last CT. My Onc predicts that I will have to start 3rd line chemo within the next few months. So, as you see, my health is fragile but not disastrous.
My dilemma is, in view of the unpredictable dynamics of this horrid disease, do I spend my savings making memories with my family and friends or do I go prudent just in case I live longer than I expect?
I've already hammered my pension lump sum because I've outlived my predicted life expectancy (spa days and mini-breaks with my daughters etc. Bought a caravan and nice car but I'm now considering that it's time to stop!
What do you think? Feel free to be honest. ..
Love and strength to all. 💐💐💐 Xx