After all this time feeling guilty

Today I had one of those days that I have I have not had for along time I sure we get them from time to time had my treatment Friday all went well after thinking it would not go ahead went out for the evening everything fine but yesterday was looking forward to looking after grandchildren till daughter came home then daughter relise on the way home left phone at work by this time I needed to get home but she also had to pick grandaughter who is 14 up from her friends by this time I was very snappy got home was moody with husband he worried about me being stressed not helping the cancer but has spoke to daughter and she has made other arrangements as it usually a one of that I look after them.also I feel quilts that my friend comes once a week to do my housework but has not been able to do it since before Christmas due to ill health between my husband and I we manage but because I don't pay her but treat her as she said if I paid her she would not be my friend no more but out affending her by getting someone paid because I feel in some way because it is her way of coping don't know but all of a sudden I anxious about this and I am now on the wide awake club hugs and kisses to those that are reading my rant Thankyouxx

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  • I'm not absolutely sure that I can follow all of your worries there, but it sounds as if you have had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day (to quote a book my kids loved when they were small) and need a hug, so a virtual one is winging its way to you! Hope today is better!

    Barbara

  • Have a word with your daughter and explain what happened, and say that of course you want to look after the children.(if indeed you do) I am sure your friend won't mind you paying for he!P as she obviously realises that you need it.

    Things always play on our minds in the middle of the night!

    Jenny

  • Thankyouxx

  • Sounds like your trying to do to much, you need to take it easy on yourself, you deserve it. Sending prayers and hugs your way💕🙏🏻

  • No don't be guilty. It was too much to be looking after your granddaughter the day after treatment, your daughter understands this as she has quickly made other arrangements. And don't be guilty about being moody, your husband clearly understood you were doing too much.

    Why not send a thank you card to your friend saying that you have arranged for paid help but really appreciate what a good friend she was to help out when she could.

    Meanwhile, enjoy your grandchildren whenever you can perhaps in smaller bursts and not so much on your own and do let your daughter know how very much you still want to see them and her.

    Be kind to yourself!!! X

  • Hi love,

    I know exactly how you feel,when I was going through my treatment my daughter had to put Frankie in nursery full time,using virtually all her wages,I felt guilty beyond belief, I was devastated!

    We now look after him 2 full days a week and it is hard work,but rewarding.I used to do the housework,but hubby helped out and now he's retired,he still does.

    I think I was lucky because I didn't feel too bad on treatment and was able to do most things,but nap if I had to. We are all different,it affects us different ways,but I think the important thing is to not beat yourself up,this is a debilitating illness and you have to accept the way you feel and give into it.

    I agree with all the ladies said,these kind people know how you feel and aren't going to hold it against you.

    I hope you feel a bit better today,things are always worse during the night,

    Lots of love,

    Carole xx

  • You are going through "very" bad times and don't be so hard on yourself. When you're sick everything seems worse. We all feel that way more often then not.bTake a deep breath and try to reflect on the good stuff. Easy to say, I know but at least try! You need your friends, husband and family in your life! Have a nice day!

    Carole🐞💃🏻

  • Thanks for all your support its just a clinch I going through at moment and I be back on track soon have holiday to look forward too just this time chemo was taking its toil and I think I got super woman knickers on now to move forward hugs to everyone x

  • You go get some sun on your back girl and it will all pale into insignificance,

    Love Carole xxx

  • Had a better today today after reading all your post of advice I took it upon myself to approach of my friend doing my housework for me and because of her ill health she was finding hard to tell me she could not do it when I asked her if she mind me getting someone else she was relieved and admitted she was guilty of letting me down but when I explain she is a true friend and I value her health more and I can move on and stop worrying hugs to everyone out therexx

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