Sexually sensitive post

Hello friends,

I feel bad asking this very explicit question on here when I read of others' problems and dilemma right now but I have to get help.

Those of you who know me are aware I had OC in 2009 and had all my ladybits taken away including cervix and have been disease free since then. Was postmenopausal pre-op by the way. Had my 6monthly check yesterday and plucked up courage to mention to consultant that penetrative sex is extremely painful - plenty natural lubrication but sore right up where cervix used to be. He had a good rummage around and could see nothing but suggested using a Oestrogen free lubricant like KY etc due to the link with OC and Oestrogen (?).

Just keen to know if any of you have had the same problem and what have you used to help ease the pain. He has said that if it is still a problem next time (in 6 months) then I can see the specialist nurse for more advice. I don't feel it is anything psychological as we have a great relationship apart from this tho we are both aware that it may be. Hubby is very patient and understanding.

I may need to call and have a chat with one of the nurses on here.

Many thanks in advance girls.

11 Replies

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  • It would be a good idea to ring the helpline nurses, as they have experience of so many aspects of life with and after ovca. I had the same problem but now use a Boots lubricant. Can't think what it's called but it's in a lightish blue pump action bottle. I always have it with me, just in case I am feeling a bit sore. I went to see the menopause specialist at my local hospital (Southend) and had a really good chat with her. She prescribed low-dose oestrogen pessaries (vagifem), for a little while for me but that depends if your tumours were oestrogen reactive? There is also a website called menopausematters which produces a magazine and I found the American website "hystersisters" is good for info and advice. Good luck

    Love Wendy xx

  • Wow Wendy you are quick. My tumour was borderline so dunno if it was oestrogen reactive or not. Consultant just made it obvious he didn't want me on anything with it in so have to listen to him. Haver to get some bits from Boots today so will have a look for that loob when I am there. Had a wee giggle to myself when I read your post about ' having it with you always' - sorry!!

    Its just such an embarrassing thing to talk about even tho all and sundry have seen all my bits on various occasions over the years!!

  • Well, you never know what will happen ;-) Be prepared, I say! xx

  • Hi Misty,

    My GP (who is good at menopausal stuff) prescribed 'replens MD' for me. It's good !

    Do get it on presription as yours will be free!

    I hate all the gynae stuff, too - I always find myself cracking jokes when being examined internally - no because it helps, but because I'm so humiliated!!

    Best wishes,

    Isadora.

  • Hi Misty,

    Me too , I find penetration impossible and we have tried the different makes of lubes and gels, Replens, Vagifem ,Boots ( not the wellington type mind)own make of lube, Superdrug and Durex, but none of them made any difference.Just lots of squelching and frothing which makes me laugh as my vagina seems to be doing a bliddy good impersonation of Donald Duck !!!!!.

    And a vaginal examination is pure agony, I dread them , but like you

    Isadora, I cope by joking about it , for example-...." Did you qualify as a vet ? " or "I'm watching you if you are trying to rob my vaginal vault, ".And why does the nurse who is chaperoning have to stand so near and staring right into my face saying " Ah , Ooh , does that hurt pet " I wanna say " No, this is my normal sex face " And anyway ,If my vault was robbed she wouldn't be a very good witness as she's looking the wrong bliddy way...

    But then my onc doc told me that I had a recurrance and it is an enlarging 3.5cm mass near the vaginal vault. Well , that accounts for the pain then . So hopefully the radiotherapy has done some good, I will know next week. Fingers crossed.

    We haven't tried it for a while, sex I mean , with the hubby of course, we just do " other things "instead I.e, Scrabble, crosswords,ironing etc,etc,

    We have been together 42 years and that is a lot of bonking I tell yer !!!.My hubby is so wonderful and patient and understanding . He is my rock !! Sex is not that important to us .

    I hope you can find something that does help Misty, in the meantime keeeeeep squelching !!!!!

    Best Wishes

    Suzie que

    xxxxx

  • Oh, Suzie Que, you gave me a really good giggle about squelching, Donald Duck etc! It's a good job we can laugh at these things! Wishing you good luck with your results next week.

    Keep laughing .... it's probably more important than bonking, ............but both are good for us ;-)

    Love Wendy xx

  • Hi there Misty

    So sorry that you are going through this. We are just not prepared for all of the extra issues are we ?

    I also had a large mucinous BOT removed, in January 2010 and my consultant is adamant that HRT is OK for me . I also had some "cellularity" in my uterus , so it was good to get rid of that too. To be honest the whole journey had been so traumatic that I don't know how I would have coped without it. Some other ladies I have been in touch with have been told that it's OK and some that it's not. My tumour was not tested for oestrogen receptivity.

    She also says that oestrogen patches , which I am on, are brilliant for preventing hot flushes but not vaginal dryness and that she would be happy to prescribe oestrogen pessaries for me as well. I know that some of our consultants prescribe them for people who have has breast cancer as the dose is so low that very little is absorbed.I am trying to not use any more hormones and so far the "bedroom olympic" stuff is fine.

    It does not seem fair to expect you to wait for 6 months to see the specialist nurse. You may wish to ask to bring this a bit forward if it's bothering you.

    Take care

    Big hug

    Charlie xxx

  • Hi Misty ,

    Can I recommend something I use thats much better than KY Jelly . This is available on the net although I did have mine via the GP .

    Had a prolasped bladder in 2010 and was nearly at the end of the menopause and things were very dry when they hadn't been ..so did my research as you do and came up with SYLK ..its a natural Quality non - gel lubricating fluid made from an extract of the kiwifruit vine .

    Have to say it is very good !

    After my Hysterectomy in Dec 2011 and things had settled down of course I was very concerned that things would be different and not feel the same but with the help of the Sylk it has given me my confidance back again and now don't always need it ... Its worth trying it !

    Do hope things improve xxxx

    Love Janet xxxxx

  • Hi Misty ...

    Have just looked on Amazon and they have it at 7.49 for a 40g bottle ..

    Lots of reviews on it ..and the first one is from a lady who had breast cancer and she said the chemo she had made her very dry ..... so she tried the Sylk and found it a great help and has ben using it for 12 years .... there is also a review from a GP who recommends it to her patients .. Hope this helps ...

    Janet xx

  • Well, you ladies have left me crying with muscle cramps I have laughed so hard.

    I wrote in ages ago with this problem but back then everyones posts were more serious. Some of these are hillarious and I can relate to them all really well.

    But since I wrote in I have found that by taking control and being the one on top seemed to solve all of the problems. It never hurt one tiny bit and we had deep penetration without any fuss. It was also my first organsim in over 2 years, well earned and very much in need, LMAO!!!!!

    Hope that helps, its worth a try in different positions - you might find one more comforatable than others, I do hope so. I do like knitting but not something we can do together.

    Love to you all xxxxx

  • Girls,

    I too have been in stitches and so has hubby!! Lubes, knitting, scrabble ~ OMG my sides are aching!

    To be honest now that I have read your posts I dunno what I was worrying myself about as we have a very stable happy relationship and are able to pleasure each other by doing the dishes, putting the bins out etc. Life's simple pleasures are just too good aren't they girls?

    We have talked since my appt and we are hoping to try again very soon - I am not sure if I will relate how it goes on here but may just come on and type

    YYYYEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSS!!

    Keep a watchful eye my friends.

    Hoping you are all keeping well.

    Thanks for cheering us up :)

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