I'm happy (okay not the happiest) to report that I am still smoke free, but I will say this weekend has been very testing. It snowed Friday in Louisiana and the lights when out that afternoon. The power was just restored an hour ago. Needless to say, had to search for a vacant hotel and after going to numerous, I was getting edgy and taking it out on my kids. I wanted to smoke so badly. I didn't, but only because I wanted to put the money toward a hotel. With Christmas around the corner money is tight so having to put out extra money for a hotel had left me stewing. I finally found the kids and I a hotel and, of course as kids do, they were so loud in the room that I wanted to smoke again.
I told my kids, "See, it's either I don't smoke or you have a mean momma. Take your pick." My daughter said, "I'm just happy you don't look stupid anymore, Momma." I said, "Yeah, but now I just sound stupid."
I was trying to justify any type of reason to go grab a pack at the nearest store. I'm not going to lie, I am still wanting a cig after this crazy weekend, but I know I'll be okay because I get to go to bed and start my day over again tomorrow. I can't wait to see if next month will be a bit better. I don't want to give up.
Hope everyone is well. God Bless!
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SheenaL
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You did well not to cave in with those circumstances! I'm not sure I would have managed. It's still tempting after 6 months when something really bad happens but it's worth sticking it out.
Very well done and hope it all gets sorted out soon.
Sorry about the trouble that's been happening, hoping it resolves soon. Anyhow, really understand where you're coming from. Having the stress weigh you down and sometimes losing patience with the kids, butyou truly are amazing for not caving in. So hard it can be, but you are doing it and with the right attitude- one day at a time. Glad to see you here posting. Keeping my fingers crossed for you.
I wonder if the holidays are triggering too, since others tk about getting through this milestone. For no good reason i rolled down my window as a passing car w smoker in drove by just to get a whiff! No idea why. I don't want to go back to smoking, but do miss the lie of it being a comfort i guess. So stupid! Yours i can understand. You did well!
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