Diary of my road to freedom...

[newlife54]

This is my umpteenth and final quit. I actually hate myself because of my smoking now to make this one stick. I put my last fag out on Monday night at 9 pm.

Day one - Tuesday . I woke up feeling tired at about 7 am... by 10 I had drank 3 large coffees. Felt dizzy with oxygen. Went into town everything seems brighter and somehow noisier. Felt agitated by people . Could not concentrate on my driving.... Felt like a learner driver ... jittery and making mistakes. Not fit to be out. Stayed in for the rest of the day. Bed at 9 pm..

Day 2 - Wednesday

Two hours sleep ! Still feel dizzy with oxygen. Feel like I might be getting a cold... Chesty and throat a bit sore. Head feels like cotton wool. Have developed a sense of smell.... been sniffing my coconut shampoo for ages. Seriously nicotine kills sense of smell sooooo bad. Having a great time smelling things.

Gums bleeding..... have receding gums on two teeth from smoking .. one of the main reasons for my quit . Do not want to loose my teeth. Still irritated by people. Everything especially me is going in slow motion.....

Day 3 - Thursday

Had no real cravings so far. But today the mother of all cravings... this afternoon . Sat outside shop for 20 mins fighting with myself. I cried like a baby ..... did not get any fags... bought chocolate instead. Sat in the car eating it and cried again ! Feel tired and lethargic... everything going slow. Not much appetite other than for rubbish sugary stuff. Noticed my eyes are brighter and the black around my eyes is fading....

Day 4 - Friday

My eyes have been stinging all day and are red.... Feel really out of sorts... no energy.. am sleeping better though... no cravings and still not hungry.... don't feel as dizzy or as angry. Think my gums look a bit healthier. My hair definitely looks better not as dry... skin also looks better not as red.... have not smoked... will not smoke....

Day 5 - Saturday

Actually do not feel as tired today.... so far...no cravings.... still not hungry and still drinking coffee... I don't care what I eat what I drink or what I do this week... as long as I dont smoke... I hate smoking and myself for smoking enough now to kick its arse. I'm being realistic about the damage this addiction is doing to me and I don't want it. .... as the day as gone on I have become increasingly tired and have in fact gone back to bed....!

OBSERVATION.... coffee is not giving me the same buzz as when loaded with nicotine as well as the caffeine. It tastes bitter and I'm not sure I like it to be honest.

OBSERVATION....My depression and anxiety is no where near as bad since I stopped smoking. I'm tired and lethargic but I don't feel anxious or depressed ! Which is just fkin brilliant 😂

Going out tonight for a few drinks.... this will be a real test. Have thrown the coffee away keep drinking it ... using it as a substitute ?

Day 6 - Sunday

So pleased with myself had quite a bit to drink last night..and DID NOT SMOKE.. Woke up this morning and do not feel as bad as I normally would after a night out where I would have usually smoked myself to death ... Lol.

My appetite as not returned .... how long does it usually take... ?

@

[Teric]

Wow well done you. It's a roller coaster ride but you seem so determined you are definitely winning this battle, and it is a battle.

Just think all that carbon monoxide has gone from your body and you are now nicotine free.

The very worst is over and everyday it will get easier.

There are loads of withdrawal symptoms that your body has to go through but every one and every quit is different. If you are worried about any symptoms you must come on here. There will always be someone who has had the same symptom.

You have jumped so many hurdles in these first few days. You totally resisted the urge to buy those disgusting fags when you were outside the shop.

That was awesome and you showed such courage. You are an inspiration and you should be so proud of yourself.

Every minute, hour and day you will get stronger to beat this evil monster.

If I pass someone who has smoked the smell makes me feel so smug cos I know I'm a winner and I will never go back to it.

Have a nice smoke free day and keep strong.

You are a winner, be proud

Teric😀😀😀😀😀

[newlife54 in reply to Teric]

Thank you so much for your reply Teric.... it is indeed a battle.... I know what you mean about the smell of smoke on others. Somehow we manage to convince ourselves we don't smell like that ! Lol.... I will beat it this time... because I really want to.. and that's the battle won...

[Joe2 2 Years Smoke Free]

Well done newlife😊reading your post reminds me of my second week i went threw most of stuff you wrote i was very emotional and tired and my driving sucked as well lol im in the middle of my 3rd week and doing alot better but im eating like a horse.

[newlife54]

Hi joe .... so glad it gets better. Pretty much sucks at the moment... not much energy again today😐

[Hercu Valued Contributor]

Newlife...Your name said it all..you are surely entering a new life and oh boy is it interesting...!!! Yes.. all the tiredness and different tastes and bad new smells...Could you believe that a KFC smelled so bad for me I walked around a block just to miss it...

It does get better Newlife and soon you will start to enjoy the New life ...Strongs !!

[Nozmo Valued Contributor]

What a great post! You can look back on that in months to come and be even more proud of what you have achieved.

Good to have you here Newlife. Keep posting. (And Joe's right, it does get easier)

[RoisinO1 Administrator 3 Years Smoke Free]

Huge welcome Newlife and well done on Day 5, nearly at your first major milestone, 1 week!

Excellent first post - you appear to have a great attitude and determined which will stand to you, looking forward to reading more diary updates!

[runmeg 3 Years Smoke Free]

Hi Newlife

well done on your fight, there is no escaping the fact its tough, I have cried, screamed, gone to bed angry, smelt new smells, I eat like a pig at the moment, but can walk miles up and down hill without getting out of breath - that is a fantastic feeling - and I no longer smell of stale smoke, horrified I smelt like that once, I am now half way through day 40 and it is easier than the first 3 weeks, I can go all day at work without one craving before I went outside every hour for a cig rain or shine.

keep going and use this site to help, its really helped me to get this far

[newlife54]

Thank you everyone for the words of encouragement advise and support..... it helps me reading about other people's journeys x

[newlife54]

Just to let you all know I did it and have been nicotine free since

[Sherrysc]

You are an inspiration! I was ready and determined to quit on the 1st of May before my 55th birthday. I made it 22 hours and got so mad at my husband for asking me a question about why I was doing something that I fumed and fumed....and fumed until I said f it. And grabbed one of his cigs. I didn't want to tell him cuz in truth I became afraid of failing once again. And I didn't want him telling anyone else. Well...that was that. Still smoking and trying to find that determination amd foresight yo a better and happier life. You have helped so much!! Thank you.