mental health problems are destroying my life...

[Ellz]

I have deppresion, anxiety, S.A.D (seasonal affective disorder) and social phobia. I have been a long term selfharmer for 3 years now. In a way I just feel lost. I have had S.A.D most of my life, deppresion and suicidal thoughts since I was 11 and developed sevre anxiety and social phobia after a breakdown this year.

I dont know what to do anymore. I've been in and out of the system for 5 years now and Just want to be left in peace. I've seen numerous mental health people and over the years the symptoms never got any better. I just feel all the time like I was never meant to be happy?

I'm just so close to giving up all together :/ I'm sick of feeling like this! My family dont care, My mum called me an attention seeker when she found out about my selfharm. Its the only thing keeping me alive :/ what do I do? Do I go back to the doctors yet again?

all thats going through my head is "fuck this shit, noone will miss you too much". its scares me :/ I just feel more and more lost everyday.

[toonfan71]

Eliz i am sorry to hear what you have been through. I have had the same thoughts as you but i try to think posative, i know it is not always easy to do so. The reply you got from your mam is not what you need, but you need her to listen to you and relise how you are feelingn. Maybe going back to the doctor is a good thing or maybe see some one else and get a second opionon on the matter.

The dr i have seen for my depression is good and always listens. When the early dark nights set in next month i will be at my extra low but i try to find a way round this. I admit again not always easy to do so. Is there a group where you can go to to talk about this with others? If there was it may help you to feel a bit better within yourself.

Goood luck i hope you may find the answers and things may start to improve for you.

[pollyweb]

Hi am a lot like you I self harmed to but no one new I hate myself so much I have been like this for 9 years and no one new I hide it well I was brought up never let anyone see you cry so that's what I did but inside I was dying I don't leave my home if I have to my husband or my sister comes with me its for support I only go out to see my GP or hospital app ive got no idea what shops we have if I don't laugh ill cry I have been like this I was lost in the system its to late for me I like to stay in my house I feel safe its my safety home I lost my mam and dad and I have 6 sisters I one brother they don't no half of my treble and that's good because im the one who as been strong after the death of our mam and dad I cry were no one sees they try and get me to go to dinner or a trip to town im ill when they ask I have panic attract palpitations I feel crazy even writing it to you please get help x