Im struggling with my life, someone p... - Mental Health Sup...

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Im struggling with my life, someone please help me

Im a 19 year old boy and im having the worst time of my life. To cut a long story short i recently split up with my girlfriend of 3 years. My first girlfriend should i say. Ive never really had many friends and she was the only person in my life who i truly cared about to the point where i would do anything for her. And i literally mean ANYTHING. anyway im struggling to cope with my emotions, im feeling so lonely all of the time and i dont have anyone to talk to. My and my ex still talk but we do argue quite a lot over stupid things. Im still so in love with her i think that its given me depression and anxiety. Im always worried that shell disappear one day or that she wont speak to me. I never feel like soing anything ive lost all interest in activities. My appetite has changed drastically, im never happy anymore. Every night i sit alone in my room and cry. I dont have any friends, they just used me because they fancied my girlfriend and have just not spoken to me and gone to her. Ive been told by multiple people that no one like me and to ~####### off without doing anything wrong. I dont have any job and no luck with finding one, i dont have any sort of relationship with my family, i have no friends and no future. I cant stop thinking of my ex, im still so in love with her, if she ever found someone new i dont think i could cope, i wouldnt want to exist because the pain would be unbearable. The pain is excruciating now and my mental state is deteriorating day by day. Most days i wish that i wouldnt wake up because i have to live through the pain again every day. Im so close to giving up, i just dont know how to make it stop

16 Replies

Hey, did you have any signs of depression before you split up?

in reply to Suzie40

There may have been a few times that could have been classed as signs of depression but ive never been diagnosed with anything although i am thinking of going to the doctors next week but tbh i dont see what good it will do me

Suzie40 profile image
Suzie40 in reply to

You wont know what good it does you until you go. Sometimes just a chat with someone can help you see the wood for the trees.

ToiToi profile image
ToiToi in reply to

You can fill in self assessment forms on line, print out the scores and take it to your GP

Ok so I’m gonna get to the point head on and you may think this a bit harsh.

So you split up with your girlfriend.

Ok so my first girlfriend I was 18 and so was she.she was totally bang on mate and I mean bang on.we split up after 6 months and shall I tell took me a good 2 yrs to get over her.

Yer you think who is she with what’s she up to.

Well mate.Its just life.your first girlfriend is always the hardest.

Why not distract your self.go get a job that will help your self.

New job = money right ?

New job = new ppl to meet + Money = Friday Pint if your in to that = chat to work colleagues = new ppl to chat to in pub.

I know this seems harsh,unsympathetic but believe me you will grow from this.

Just think it’s actually easier to go through the pain now than further down the line.

Sorry can’t be more help.

Good luck mate

With respect, I'm not sure you're being entirely fair. I'd struggled with low level mental health difficulties for 6 years, before a split up with my partner triggered a depressive episode. I've never really been the same since, and I have a very good job, enough money and lots of friends!

Hey, I'm sorry you're struggling so much. I've experienced very similar situations. My first boyfriend split with me a couple of months after my Dad died when I was 17 and messed about with my heart a bit before he met someone else. I am 41 now but it took me a long time to feel able to hold down college or work properly after this situation. It was a difficult enough situation losing a parent suddenly but to lose that person who is supposed to be a partner and have feelings completely for you and you for them is truly a heart-breaking feeling which takes time to recover from. Don't be hard on yourself. Id a crap family situation and turned to alcohol and basically didn't care a jot for myself for a good amount of time. Looking back I should have sought medical help sooner, it didn't need to be pills, but talking over how I felt and looking at cognitive behavioural therapy could have greatly improved how I was and how I felt anxious about everything. If I could offer help to you it's to keep talking to people here, and talk to a doctor. With slow steps you could start to work your way to fee!ing better and having a form of life in work and maybe friends through work. Not everyone out there/here is bad like the Friends you had, some of us really care for people having difficult times, some of which we recognise, and we are here for you. I'm here. When I'm low I try to get some fresh air, it could be a start point for you. I also like to blast music I like, something up beat. Crying is okay to do too if you need to it can let out emotion. I also find writing down how I feel can help relieve things.

I don't mean to be horrible in any way whatsoever but there are two issues in you situation. Firstly it seems your girlfriend wasn't 'the one' and you need to get over that, you're only young, you'll no doubt meet your future wife eventually.

I totally understand the pain you're going through, I've recently divorced after a very long term relationship.

Without being too simplistic, as much as you miss your first love, it was never going to last and you will find somebody. Focus on looking forward to that rather than looking into the past.

Your medical issues will probably ease if you find somebody, if not speak to your doctor, contact MIND, post on here or even contact me directly - I'm no expert but have gone through similar issues and always happy to chat if I can help in any whatsoever

Aww break ups are the worst! Completely mess us up.. make us question everything ! It hurts a lot and it’s okay to allow yourself to have some time to grieve over a loss .... but there comes a time where its up to you how you can come away from this situation.

My best advice it fill every single day with things to do! Keep busy... family, gym , classes, jobs, local activities,movies, Netflix, books ... hopefully through some of these things you meet new people and can focus on different social events with them...

But most importantly it is okay to be upset over a loss.. don’t ignore it.. allow it .. but then lift yourself up and keep on keeping on !

It just wasn’t meant to be and your One is out there waiting for you...

Lots of caring people here .. you’re never alone x take care hope you feel better soon x

Hi, so to hear you are struggling, but I can tell you, you have plenty of people on here who have experienced a similar situation. Don’t ever feel alone as we can help. Good idea to go to see the Doctor. They have resources that will help. Depression can make you fell lonely and in a dark place, I know I’ve been there. Do you have a hobby or interest? Charity work is a good way of keeping busy. Keep talking to us, go to the Gymn or a walk. Setting goals daily. Small steps, silly music, Comedy films, all help to decrease Depression. I could go on. Like all of us here, we want to help and show you are never alone. Keep chatting to us we are here to help. Keep in touch. Let’s see work together to help you.

Stay with us, all things pass even heartache, stay in touch with your ex but dont exclude other relationships, my Grandson is in a similar place as you and I cant tell you how much he is loved by all of us but he's not seeing it right now, life is precious hang on in there and things will change xx

You mentioned your unable to find a job, how about going back to school?

This is going to sound like a cliche but it's actually true.

Your young and you have the entire world to look forward to experiencing.

Take a deep breath and blaze a trail!

You can do this!

My buddy. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. If it helps any it’s completely normal especially with everything going on from friends being cunts and low self esteem. Fuck your shitty friends. You’re better off without them. You’re 19 with the world ahead of you. You can do anything. Literally! You have options! As for right now focus on you. Get an Xbox and binge on so many games. Pick up smoking cigarettes, pick up an instrument, do something you love. Find yourself again. Three years at an early age you don’t know you yet. Figure out what you like and don’t like. (Safely!)

Life is the hardest thing you’ll ever do my man. I promise your pain will go away.

As for finding a job...I didn’t find one until I was about 22. I was fortunate to have well off grandparents but I still looked hard ass hell for a job. I eventually found one then took classes to become an EMT on a 911 ambulance. Anyways. What I’m trying to say is you’re going down your own path. Everything will fall into place with time. I promise.

I hope you’re well.

And again.

Your emotions about this current situation couldn’t be anymore normal for the circumstances. I promise you’re fine. You’re not broken or worthless. If she is the one and loves you she’ll come back. If not that’s okay too. It just means her time in your life was up and someone else is coming in. Always practice safe sex, wash your hands well before sex, shower every day and wash everything! brush/floss your teeth, and don’t share needles.

Hope I helped



I feel for yah buddy i split with my ex 2years ago and have never let her go, what ties us in tighter is that we have a 2 and a half year old daughter. I miss them dearly. i am too going through the same, im constantly thinking about her to the point of obsessed. no mates only my sister im close too. its good to cry, if you have tears left let them all out, its very challenging waking up in the morning thoughts strike your head immediately you sort of want the day to fast forward till sleep time, thats the only way my mind has a break lol. I can see your a strong one just looking at the circumstances. Keeping breathing everyday bro just survive it make a plan a to do list keep your mind busy. If you let those ex thoughts take over it will beat the crap out of you. seek help there are alot of sources out here these days. if you need to talk, talk to me

It must be awful for you I don't feel like living neither x

Well i hope a year on things are much better for you . Its important to go no contact and focus on you staying in touch with an ex doesnt help . Cut off focus and heal and improve your own life . Someine worth having doesnt leave us xxx

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