On the edge with too many decisions

[Lazy_dog_lover]

Long story, some venting, need input.

Some of you have followed my story of my major car accident last March. It was the other driver’s fault, but I was really hurt. So, on top of COVID-19, I was hospitalized alone, had no job, and spent 9 moths in physical therapy only to have them tell me they have to do additional surgeries.

I did the first one, bone graft and joint fusion in my right foot...basically gluing my heal back together and screwing it to a bone below the ankle. I cant walk on it for 3 months.

I think we don’t have to do the second one, bone grafting the two forearm bones. I still am healing, am only allowed to lift 15 pounds,30 kilos, and used an electromagnet stimulator to help the bone.

My drama for this week is that I also need rotator cuff repair. That surgeon was ready to schedule it, however, we have to wait for the right approvals. I recently found out that the other driver does not have enough car insurance coverage to really pay for much. There will be almost nothing to compensate me for lost wages and “pain and suffering”. Boy, there was a lot of pain and suffering.

I was staying with my sister post surgery for the foot when the news about the rotator cuff started. My thinking is to do it now, while I am already laid up, already not working, already not driving, already on pain meds. It would then put physical therapy for both close to the same starting time.

I have gotten opinions from people about the surgery ( some who had it done)... some say go ahead and some say to separate them. I am also job hunting. Job hunting is already hard due to COVID, but I can’t imaging going in and then saying I need time off for surgery. It would also mean I am dealing with this for two full years. Mentally it is draining.

I am fiercely independent. I hate accepting help. I had no choice with this. Yesterday, I was at my limit of people telling me how to do things, when to do things, talking to others and reporting back a collective opinion...I had my sister take me home, to be alone. Postponing could mean I am without income for a very long time. How do I pay bills and keep my house? How do I job hunt?

Not postponing would be a challenge, to be immobilized in the sling while having a foot I can’t walk on. I already agreed to two weeks at my parents’ home post op. They would need to dress me. If I have the choice between physical pain and securing a career for financial stability, I will always choose the physical pain.

I am currently at over 40 hours without sleep. I think I am screwed either way. I need the surgeons to weigh in. I had a good session with my life coach, today, who stabilized my breathing, clarified my needs, and Gave me back some sanity.

What would you do? Lots of variables. What questions should I ask? What should I prepare for? I have no prior experience with rotator cuff surgery. How do I deal with bossy family who have different opinions, knowing I will need their help.

[Goldfish_]

Just keep the regular exercises going and pick off one extra topic to address each week. You are thinking of too many things

[Lazy_dog_lover in reply to Goldfish_]

I know I am thinking of too much, but it is all on my plate right now. I am really trying to move things along to get back to normal.

[Hidden]

Have you considered ways of toning up muscles and reducing pain in various ways. I was involved in a serious car accident in the 70s and after several operations I developed PsA in my neck, spine arms and hips, they sent me to pain Clinic and I was introduced to TENS MACHINES to reduce pain. Now you can purchase EMS machines that Sportsmen us to tone up their tendons and muscle groups, I use this machine for many years, although now with age I am more used to take medications You can purchase Tens in chemists although good TENS Machines now have settings to use the machine as an EMF machine as well. After operations tone ups help strengthen areas when doing your exercises. Have words with your therapists and take advice from them. You never know how these machines may help

If you need further operations do not leave it to long you need to have.

Remember Diversions and Hobbies can help to take your mind of what is going on. Persistence and determination will help over time

BOB

[Lazy_dog_lover in reply to Hidden]

Thanks. My physical therapist said she has seen rotator cuffs heal without surgery, but there are so many ways it can tear.

I will look into the equipment. Is that the one with electrical stum to tense and relax muscles?

[Hidden in reply to Lazy_dog_lover]

Yes it will tone areas you treat. The TENS element will help you with pain, it worked for me after hitting a sandstone wall at 50mph and the resulting damage. I was fantastic for PsA.

BOB

[Lazy_dog_lover in reply to Hidden]

I was in a Nissan Rouge at 50 mph and t-boned a Chevy Tahoe (tank) who made an illegal left right in front of me. Braced on wheel, broke arm, sternum, rotator cuff. Slamming on brake ripped off my heel. I am happy all the safety features worked and I am alive.

I have very limited mobility, so the TENS may be a blessing.

[Hidden in reply to Lazy_dog_lover]

I smashed and ankle, wrist pushed the Sternum into my heart, they thought I had damaged the heart The wind screen flew out pushed out by my head and the dashboard collapsed onto my legs and did a lot of damage. The cylinder head ended up twenty feet from the car with the windscreen. That smashed the bonnet and front end most if it ended up in a heap on the other side of the wall They had to use the jaws of life to lift up the dash and they needed to remove the driver door. by cutting me out The passenger broke her arm and some nasty cuts from the wipers

BOB

[Lazy_dog_lover in reply to Hidden]

Wow. That is a lot. I guess vehicles are starting to be built with an engine compartment that is supposed to drop down before pushing back into the passenger compartment. My injuries were all just me bracing for dear life and absorbing the impact.

I am glad you and your passenger made it through.

[Hidden in reply to Lazy_dog_lover]

The accident lead to all my Physical Health problems, it also made matters worse for my Mental Health Concerns.

Eventually I came down with a Viral Meningitis in North Africa and that affected my memory and concentration. Two years later I was medically retired from Work. Since then I have Never worked. So it really jiggered up my Life. Have not worked now for over thirty years

BOB