Does anyone understand or relate? I would be so greatful for this to be read.

Is it normal to just feel lonely even though Im not depressed? I dont know why, but I just feel like I wish I could just talk to someone and feel a connection with someone. And I feel a little sad. Do people who dont have mental health problems get lonely? Im feeling ok mentally right now but not really used to that feeling so I dont always know how to understand my emotions. I feel like I would just like a friend to talk to about general things like knowing how their day is going and to just chill with. Im not used to allowing myself to want that either tbh. Ive been so depressed and low in self worth all my life that I havent felt able to imagine feeling able to relax with anyone (even though Ive really wanted to and craved it). Its as though the anxiety of feeling Im not good enough has overridden any painful loneliness. No matter how painful my loneliness has been (and Ive ached so badly) Ive still been paralysed to do anything about it. Ive been in a really bad way and noone would even realise as I couldnt tell anyone as even that felt too much and I felt so unworthy of telling anyone and being worthy of being listened to. Ive also spent alot of time on my own growing up as a child and in life due to having very little family/friends. Ive struggled to really know how to interact. Ive changed alot over recent months though. I can still get really down and struggle to function alot but I find times where I feel respite too. Its a massive change in me from before where for years I have been constantly suicidal and in constant pain. I think in some ways I feel like a boy who is still growing up and learning how to be me and get used to being happy. Its kind of nice to feel a little innocent but Im also a little confused and I am finding it hard to know how to be. Im kind of feeling my way too.

Im going out to work tomorrow and I may take my day slower and just talk to people a little more than usual. I work for myself so I can do that. I may ring someone too if Im brave enough.

Im a strange mix because of all this. Sometimes I can be really shy and other times I can be really confident. I try not let my past define me so I think its natural to break my own mould at times so to speak. People can get a little confused by me lol. But Im relatively young emotionally in understanding myself so I think its understandable. And many people are settled in who they are. Im not, I suppose. I feel like I have alot of learning to do.

[hurtingheart1]

I think this could be quite normal!!! 💞&!im here you can Feel free to reach out anytime You need a friend🌻🌻🦋

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Hey Cuddly-bear ..Hippolove1 here.

Listen..everything ur feeling is normal.

You have tons of people to talk to here and we r very supportive .

[Cantdealanymore]

Yes. Loneliness is so painful

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Hi there! I totally understand where you're coming from. Even though I suffer from anxiety and depression, I too get lonely really easily and pretty often. And I do think that it is normal. I think it is normal to crave someone to talk to and to rant to. I just joined this forum today because I want someone other than my boyfriend to talk to about my problems that will actually understand me and know how I'm feeling. And I 100% know how you're feeling. Someone actually told me today to find something I enjoy doing to do when I'm lonely. Some things I'm going to try are writing, playing the piano, and dancing like an idiot when no one is watching lol. I think you should give that a try too. And hey, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here for you, and I know how you feel.

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I feel where you're coming from. I'm lonely most of the time & since I'm a carer have little contact with society. I want to connect to someone but feel inadequate & shy. I confuse myself because sometimes you can't shut me up lol. I want to be close to someone but feel unworthy & build walls automatically, that I frustrate myself. I'm 45 years old but & still learning so many things, adults already know. My childhood was unstable & my years of emotional formation was not met. So many things that I child should receive in their formative years was not met in mine. So I'm emotionally insecure, socially inept sometimes. The two friends I do see once every 3 months is the only contact I have to go out socially. Since I wasn't taught how to be a healthy adult, I often learnt over the years to mimic my friends & work out how to appear normal. Their normal was never mine, not because of any lacking on my part but as a child I was taught all the wrongs things. To lie, steal & use people to name a few. I was taught that everybody was bad & I had to use them before they used me. But I'm no longer that little girl & have been blessed by meeting some kind people who showed me that there was another way to live. Sorry feel like I went on another tangent there lol.

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You are not alone with those feelings you suffer from. Sad to say it is more common than you can imagine. Friendship and the making of a really good friendship are as rare as Hens Teeth. Most people we call friends are not that they are aquaintances and these people generally pace through your life, out the other side on a regular basis. Therefore a proper friend is like an uncut diamond it will shine bright over time.

You can make friendships attending say Mental Health Day Centres. or Age Concern Centres. Night Classes sometimes help, you do not need subjects that examinations may follow. Subjects like learning to dance or gardening etc may help you lift yourself up and out into areas of friendships.

I know it is hard at this time, we are all in many ways stuck without a chance of meeting people all I can say is try to find people who have the same interests as yourself

Come on this site, you will meet people to discuss how you feel. Remember the best way to make friends is be a good listener and sometimes keep your own confidence

BOB