Mental Health Support

need help

hi im 41 year old woman on antidepressants went from 25 mg to 50 then 100 now 150mg a day but i dont feel any better at all and its been months now and i haven't been out from xmas sorry went to dentist 3 weeks ago got into my car so i don't see anyone. i have 4 kids teenagers who are great...this is how my day goes call kids for school (i ring them from my room) dont get washed or dressed or even wont go out to shops ill get kids to go to shops and would order take aways for kids dinner, i dont really eat that much, in my head im like yes im going to clean the house and have a bath after get ready and go to shops get stuff in dinner but ive no motivation im just tired all the time even if i sleep all day im still tired when i wake up.....i just dont want to do any of it and then i feel 100 times worse for not doing any of it.....what can i do to stop feeling like this......

9 Replies


You really need to go back to the doctors. You don't say what medication you are on but it obviously isn't working and there are so many different ones to try you don't need to be suffering like this. Have you thought about getting some counselling or CBT therapy? Also I know it's really really hard when you feel so ill but you need to try to get out of your room, take baby steps but try to just do one thing. Maybe start by going to wake up your kids, then go back to bed then when you feel comfy doing that add something else, maybe wake them up, go back to bed then come sit in the living room in the evening whilst one your kids cook dinner for everyone then if needed back to bed to rest etc. Also you'd be surprised how much better you feel for having a bath or shower, I'm really bad at looking after myself in this sense when I'm poorly but my husband forces me and I always feel so much better after, exhausted from the effort but better anyway! Do your kids support you or do you have anyone else you can call on to try to get you motivated, I know if I didn't have my husband I'd be the same as you and hide away and stay in bed! You don't say whether you sleep well or not, because if not that will be a huge factor into why you feel so naff.

Hope I have been of some help with my rambling reply! Take care.

L x


Agree with the baby steps. Nice reply.


Thanks very much :) it's nice to hear that my reply was worth while and not a load of nonsense!! I think it's the only way anyone can move forwards that is suffering this badly.

L x

1 like

Can I ask you please which anti depressant are you on?


Hello Blueyes, how to stop feeling like this when depressed is a question we would all like a quick and easy answer to. There is n't one but there is a very difficult answer which is to find a way to get up and washed and helping your kids. You should be getting more effective medical help as well but I'll get to that later.

Its encouraging that you remembered and turned out for your dental appointment. You should look at this as proof that when you have to you can get out and get presentable when you have to meet an appointment. I realise that that was n't easy but the motivation to help your teenage kids and show them you are making every effort to recover should be equally strong. You tell us they are great kids and they certainly sound it but it must be a worry to them to see their mother laid so low. Turning out and making them meals would be such a load off their minds that you really must make the effort to do this however large it may be. Even being there washed and dressed when they come home from school will make a big difference for them and will also make you feel so much better. Whats more you'll hear their conversations after school and be able to be part of that which will be a tremendous step forward for you. You will also find that just starting to do things around the house again will give you more energy, not less. You'll also have more peace of mind , no more feeling 100 times worse.

Don't think you have to make giant leaps , just small steps forward, a little at a time, starting with turning out and washing and dressing. No one else can do this for you, that effort has to come from you.

Hopefully this will then put you in a place where you can make another appointment with your GP who you should make aware of what you have written in your post, printing it out if necessary. After several months you should be in much better shape than you describe and your GP needs jolting out of this continual increasing of your dosage with something that clearly is n't working. Finding the right antidepressants is diffcult and they don't work instantly but there must be something that is better than you are currently taking and ,the sooner your GP finds this the better.



Why don't you try different Meds see your doctor.push yourself to get out of bed do it in steps.dont just give up



Is it ok if I call you that for short ?

You sound exactly as I sound/sounded.

I go thru these spells off and on for well over 25 years.

I did the meds therapy everything I coukd think of.

First off I think I needed to understand that it was not all my fault I did not choose this way to live.

I guess we all can say that about one thing or another.

But life is like that .

For me I know I have unrealistic goals.

I always have and I'm an over achiever and perfectionist.

Some would say

" oh Shelly your lucky you have OCD and your house is always so clean.

Before I knew or got real sick with OCD , a breakdown I called it.

Things were fine.

I thought .

I did my chores in the morning .

Did the kids the meals the laundry errands

Paid bills,,,




I even was a foster parent for ten years s .some of that time is when I first broke .

I coukd write a book .

I'm sure you could to .

One day I just coukd not get up !!!!

I was just done

I stayed in bed for days

Anything I could get out of I would.

Then it was a roller coaster .

Some real good days and others not worth the breath .

This Xmas was the first I didbt spend with the kids.


I Didn't see my granddaughter or daughter or even my son who for the first time in years actually came over to my daughter for Xmas .


Hell yes

I had started a trial for depression dr study in Oct

I ended up there because all the doctors my ins was offering were idiots .

But the study thing,,

Not for any drug it's testing to see how we do on these drugs.

Blood tests



But what I'm really getting is not only a chance to help others down the road but a fantastic dr

This dr tells me about him

He's Christian he prays for his patients and his decisions.

God or no god the fact that he has No I know it all mentality is a big plus .

I don't have to feed his ego .

Meds are changing a bit

Adderal Prozac clonipin

He's took me off stuff

Started me lower doses

So if took a few weeks to feel better

The stimulants and even Wellbutrin in low dose get me going and does lift my mood.

I had just put myself thru a 9 month titrating down from high adderal .

It's not the best for all but it's what I need for now

You'll find that as you get to different stages of your life your disease changes to and your dr should know that

This dr is saying

Meds are never the whole answer


We know that

It's only a little piece

I have to say this

If you can do nothing else

Get up


Go for a five min walk

Come back


Don't put on night clothing

That would be my first thing to say to try to help you a bit

It sounds small

But it will become your lifeline

You are still pretty young a lot of living and good things to come for you I believe .

So if you want you may write

Or not .

I don't know a lot of answers

Sometimes I feel as dumb as a poke

But I've been thru most all the crap I can and back out

I will go back in some days

But that's ok

You will not feel this bad every single moment of every single day forever

Change is the only constant

The baby steps

5 min walk lead to more

It does not matter how long just try to move a little

Walk until you feel like you want to walk

Change will come quicker at that point

Don't be hard on yourself

There are some things you can do to get better

You may have to struggle a bit always

That's ok

Telling yourself it's ok

Say it a lot

Pounding on you will pull you down more

You don't deserve that

Five min sounds silly but it will get better

If your meds are not working after 4 weeks or so ask them to change them

Change only one thing at a time

Low doses to start always

No extra adding stuff till you test one thing at a time

If a dr says let's add this to that and the this did nothing

Tell him you want another plan

Your body will build tolerance to all of it

Then you can start diet food food


Not a lot at first

Try 600 D

At first it's a good antidepressant

Niacin this new dr told me I just started it

The drugs are a small part you know that

Bless you

I wish the best for you

We are only human

We fall down

W get up

We fall down

We get up


Have you told your doctors how tired you are? Maybe you should request a blood test to see if anything physical is going on and causing this. I was very similar on many medications and was put on maximum doses of lots but nothing worked properly, also beta blockers for anxiety, sleeping tablets for bouts of insomnia and so forth. I found out years later it was my thyroid hormones(hypothyroid) as they can take years to decline and anti depressants can often mask the symptoms, depression, anxiety, extreme tiredness is a symptom of it also and in extreme cases it can lead to psychosis. I had panic attacks, depression, self harmed, eating disorders, migraines, social anxiety the works. Depression causes tiredness but you shouldn't be that exhausted and if you have any other physical symptoms going on its worth investigating it further, or getting your doctor to. It may be worth trying to eliminate anything physical going on and if that comes back clear asking for a change of meds. You are obviously not suited to whatever they are giving you. I totally get how hard it is when you feel this Ill to push anyone for anything but they don't always know what's best. If you feel something else could be going on hormonal or physical, request further tests to find out.


Have You Asked Your Doctor, To See If You Have chronic fatigue? Or do You lack sleep, and so are just very tired all the time? Do You take medication, that makes You feel sleepy, as a side-effect?


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