Hello

[Wanttobehapppy]

New to this so please bare with me, ive sufferd from depression and anxiety for quite a while cant remember a time when I wasn’t myself, I finally got some help last June with step 2 change counselling, it was hard to talk about my problems didn’t feel it worked for me, i had 6 weeks of work last year around the same time I started counselling, got my self back to work but since the end of January it has all got worse and im still off work feel like im not ready for work yet has ive had 5 overdoses since the end of January im lucky to be writing this. Ive been in the local mental heath hospital twice and had regular crisis team appointments.

Ive used to spend money from loans and credit cards to buy things to make me feel good about myself cars, motorbikes and designer clothes as this made me feel better about myself but only temporary, now im heavily in debt and i will be declaring my self bankrupt as soon has i can afford the fees, looked in to various options but because im not sure how much money i will have monthly I cannot arrange Iva’s or similar,my own fault but having these things really did make me feel good about myself, bankruptcy will be good has it will give me a fresh start and im currently only getting universal credit and staturety sick pay so cant afford the repayments.

I have also been using crack really really bad mistake has this is highly addictive and ive only myself to blame, it just wiped my mind off my problems for a day, that world and the people in it are really not for me found out they are vultures who just want me to get hooked so they can keep selling it to me, people have taken and stole from me from that world, they saw a vulnerability in me and took advantage, ive been off that for about a week and deleted all contacts from my phone but im scared i go back in to using.

Ive messed up my life please please dont make the same mistakes i have.

Don’t think i have the strength to carry on, ive got various appointments for my drug addiction and going to see someone from better together which is a local support group with depression so i am trying to get my life back but i like i said don’t have the strength to carry on

[kenster1]

hi and welcome to you sorry to read of your situation I hope it improves for you.the citizens advice done great for me regarding debt I took down all my debts and they contacted all of them and agreed to minimal payments each month they may help you with your situation.it really is a weight of your shoulders knowing you have tackled the problem.god loves a trier and you have tried and your time will come again hopefully and you rebuild your life again.

[Hidden]

Part of taking Crack is the Depression associated with it. So you need to sort out this problem first and then move onto your depression. Your GP can arrange treatment to come of this addictive drug.

Your Debts. Make an appointment with CAB, they can help, or you can also consider using a charity in your area that deals with this type of problem

BOB

[Wanttobehapppy in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for your reply, ive been to cab and they advised bankruptcy has im now on benefits i cant offer any reduced payments,i have this morning filed for it just got to wait 28 days to see if its been approved, the gp has said im no where near to go back to work this morning i feel like giving up my mind is a mess, as for the crack its a struggle im not winning i cant seem to stop thinking about it.

[Hidden in reply to Wanttobehapppy]

You need to get positive advice for the CRACK you are taking, so you need to find self health groups that deal in people who are addicted to drugs. You have to solve and get over the cause of your problems Crack and move on. You will find charities etc in the library or CAB they can put you in contact with Organisations who can help your addiction.

CAB can help you with your financial concerns. However not sorting out your addiction will still cause further money concerns as you try and pay for the hit you need on a daily basis

BOB

[Wanttobehapppy in reply to Hidden]

I am trying there’s a group called better together who knows about my current situation, They are going to arrange some mindfulness and have a garden where i can just chill out in but that wont be till the 30th, also im going to Addaction which help out with drug addicts, so i am trying really hard and thank you for your reply

[Wanttobehapppy in reply to Wanttobehapppy]

I just need to find the strength and take it day by day I suppose, i feel like the bankruptcy will be a big help as it will take a massive weight of my shoulders but you are right the crack habit isn’t helping one bit

Thank once again

[Hidden in reply to Wanttobehapppy]

You need to understand, many organisations will and can help you, although generally speaking it will all come back down to your attitude and a need to be strong and move on, leaving your addictions behind you. You have a long and interesting journey to take and believe me you will move on if the need is there in the first instance..

I am here for a chat if needed, in my case I take Opiates for Chronic Pain and I was given instruction to be able to take strong medications if and when needed.

There is nothing in taking strong drugs, the clever part is to know when to change or stop. I know how to stop, and that can still be problematic, caused by side affects and withdrawal. However I do work with the drugs I take and now know how to withdraw from the tranche of medications I am forced to take.

I see my doctor in two weeks time and they are changing my medications, the problem is when we get older we do not need the same amount of medications. It took two years to moderate and know the best drugs to work for me. Now I go through the same situation once more, new medications offered, old faithful medications withdrawn.

Life is hard we all need to make decisions, My new treatments to stabilise once more will take time to get used to

BOB

[Wanttobehapppy in reply to Hidden]

Life is hard and i do hope your new treatments do stabilise you, i wish you all the best, im glad you know how to stop and know how to cope with the withdrawal symptoms.

Ive never been a ‘strong person’ and i have never been a confidence person always need something to get me out off my shell so to speak, be it alcohol but thats a depressant, cannabis just makes me parinoid and the crack is short lived and expensive, ive been on 3 day binges and spent over £200 in a day.

What i have put my family though just for that drug is disgraceful, they have been amazing and i know im very lucky to have them, ive told them the truth about what ive done.

I’m feeling very down at the moment and the suicdal thoughts are a constant present thats why i self medicated and hid from my problems.

Now i can no longer hide ive declared myself bankrupt.

Thank you for replying

And all the best in your journey and i hope your doctors appointment goes well

[JoanellaJ]

Please get the right help..read Hope prevails by dr.michelle bengston she too suffered from depression it helped me take care

[Hidden]

Your GP is there to help with your addictions, He will refer you and arrange hospital intervention if and when needed. You know the negative feeling you are getting from family and even if they are supportive, they will still be watching over you so given that you go for the hard option to withdraw from all drugs you find the need to take.

I had a friend several years ago who was an addict, He went through Hell and back to get His life back on course. He like you went, wanted to go Bankrupt, it is not as easy to work from that position so you will need the Help of some organisation to shuggy you along that pathway, who understands the system and can be supportive CAB does work and help in approaching people and organisations and discuss a working way forward

BOB

[Wanttobehapppy]

Cab have been brilliant and advised this route they have sent letters asking for a 30 day hold 2 weeks ago, i have the advisors direct number and he is a brilliant bloke, i had to sell possession to pay for the fees associated, i promise the fees have been payed but i did get £20 off crack just being honest, after i smoked it I thought what the hell am I doing this was yesterday promise nothing today and there wont be but its been bloody hard today, as im on sick pay with the gp saying im no where near ready to work and review it on the 20th may, then after and when she decides whats best it will be a phased return part time, so can not arrange any reduced payments has ive no idea what money i will have coming in short or long term. Debt has been a constant strain i feel this way the insolvency advisers will be helpful hope so anyway.

It will be difficult i know and i will try not stray from this path.

I have a appointment with Addaction which is a drug addiction group tomorrow and also have access to a crisis team.

Found this site by chance

I’m trying really really hard.

James

[Wanttobehapppy]

Thank you for your advice,

Just wondering has its been me venting to you.

How are you, you mentioned chronic pain how well do you cope day to day?