Timely becomes dead from within

[Ayir]

Hey my pseudo name is Ayir and I had my own experiences with mental health issues. I don't want to use any labels as I don't think they do the justice to our emotions, our struggles and our pain. So here I am hoping to have a conversation with my fellow lovely people who don't give up.

I'm just another girl who lived in a darker world for a long long time that I refused to believe there is whole another world out there who doesn't look like mine. I've just learned that the suffereing never ends. It comes n goes . Unexpectedly.

[Alex231]

Thats correct. But you have to be a strong and do not give up. I am the same 1 year started still just there. I was 15 when i emigratet and i am but evrything was ok with me. I had money bussines and evrything. I use to be a kickoxer as well. Then my life change with money and with evrything and that how started with me. But with my exprience we just have to be strong and do not give up. I no exacly how you fill but this is life and nothing you can do. When people start having problems that why it start. Is evrything with brain and then people start geting tired but never let yourself down then belive me you will be ok. I am still fighting myself but sometimes i thing what is happning with me then i tell my self not a chance then i am ok but u have to get used to this rabish and this hell then promisse you will be ok.

[Bonkersy]

I understand the feeling of a revolving door, to think all is well and then everything changes. But the good times can and do come back.

I understand the feeling that No one hears or even listens to you.

I understand the feeling of pain so bad that life becomes unbearable, but the pain can and will go away.

[Ayir in reply to Bonkersy]

Thankyou so much for reaching out. This was much needed. And about the feeling of pain going away, I hope what you're saying is true because from last few weeks I don't think it got any worse. So yes I'm okay at the moment , won't say that I've healed myself but for few weeks the pain has been numbed if that makes sense. And I'm doing much better than before academically atleast.

[Bonkersy in reply to Ayir]

That's brilliant news about the improvement academically. I'm (probably), much much older than you, and can say categorically that over the years (and I was diagnosed with bipolar at 15), I've had more good than bad. I've had children, worked, have grandchildren, and have achieved loads. Mental illness doesn't define me it's just another ingredient in my life.

I'm guessing that like many, your revotlving door is linked to stress, very real stress too, there's so much going on now, your studies, and Covid 19, it's not surprising that you have been overwhelmed, but you're hanging in there, so you're strong, and you will come out and feel better.

In the meantime try to eat and sleep well, avoid street drugs and alcohol if you can, but take any prescribed medication and try to get up and dressed, and take some exercise. If you have Any hobbies find time for them, if you don't, think about trying something, even scribbling, if that takes your fancy can be a way of outwardly expressing your feelings, but you never know, you might be an artist, or fashion designer, the world's next supersports woman (or man), Or how about gardening? You don't have to have a garden to grow the outdoors inside, or maybe you are are a writer, a musician, or master chef.

There are so many options and I promise you that if you have even just one passion for an activity, the bad times will fly, and before you know it the good will be back xxx

P.S. I noticed before you have a gift of prose, you are very talented, so there you have a start. My guess is you are a very talented young person, and will be given at many other skills, enjoy them, use them.n

[Ayir in reply to Bonkersy]

Thankyou so much for taking out your tine to write this . It definitely made my day. I felt really good when I read the part where you said that mental illness doesn't define you, it's part of who you are but not your whole identity. When I started having issues , I doubted for a long time that this is who I am and it is what it is and I couldn't think that it's just a part of my identity.

Also thankyou for appreciating my writing I'm just 20 so I guess yes I'm quite younger than you .